I am unsure on what to do for Christmas: Advice?

So, for the past few years my husband and I alomg with our two daughters (2 and 11 months old) have celebrated Christmas with his family. Mostly because every single stinkin year my mom has started a huge fight, over nothing, completely ruining the holiday. No one wants to celebrate Christmas with someone who wont even talk to you. She just would make the holiday so hostile and cold and it wasnt something I wanted to subject my girls too on Christmas. Well, this year we all decided to drive down to my brothers house (he lives about 3 hours away). I’m all for it, but I just have this sinking feeling that it’s just going to be a trainwreck. My family doesnt plan anything. Everything with them is always up in the air, no one knows what’s going on and they’re always late. Things keep changing from spending Christmas at his house to his girlfriends house with her family (which is an extra 2 hours on the freeway). If we spend it at his house, there wont be Christmas dinner because he doesnt even own pots or pans. I dont even know his girlfriends parents since I’ve only met her twice. I just have this feeling that we will spend the majority of Christmas on the freeway. My husband also has to fly out back to work on the 27th so wed have to be home on the 26th so he can pack. My inlaws said they were welcomed to come here for Christmas and for dinner so I’m thinking maybe it’s best to spend it here. It’s our first Christmas for our youngest daughter (she was only 3 weeks old last year). My oldest will also be here this year and not with her dad. Its a big deal to me! I dont want to spend it on the freeway! I know if I mention it to my mom it’s going to be another huge fight and I just dont know what to do. Please help!!

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You already sound like you know what you should do. Just have xmas at your house. And invite your fam if they come they come if they don’t well enjoy the holiday anyways.

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If you’re questioning it, don’t go. Make new plans.

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I would have it your house! Invite your mom if she doesnt come then it’s on her :heart: you have your own family to worry about now.

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I would have it at your inlaws or your house. If. You have any feeling it will be a train wreck it most likely will be

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You have to start your own family traditions at some point

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Go with your gut…forget everyone else stay home and just do it at ur house with ur family. Enjoy ur family for once. Focus on ur kids. Do game dsy and do fun stuff…

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Always prioritize the family you made and not the one you come from. In this situation it sounds like staying home would be more stable for your family. Trust your gut.

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Stay home. Avoid the drama. Enjoy your Christmas. Tell your mom to take her drama elsewhere cause you are not interested

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So stay home and enjoy

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Spend Christmas at your own house… Invite whoever. If they come, they come.

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Is this my long lost sister writing this? Lol. It sounds just like my family. Stay home and invite people over. Traveling with small kids is a disaster. We have to travel 10 hours for Thanksgiving and I’m dreading the drive already.

I would just do something small with your girls and husband at your house. Just tell everyone you want to do something intimate this year and if people want to stop by to see you guys that’s fine but you aren’t doing anything big

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Christmas at home. Your babies are to young to spend the holiday on the freeway and spending Christmas with virtual strangers. Christmas is for making family memories. Invite family to your house. If they come, they come, if not at least you’ll be home with your family.

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stay home and have it with your family

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It is time to start new traditions. My son and his family don’t travel on Christmas, and that is ok. It is also his oldest child’s birthday, and they have Christmas in the morning and birthday in the afternoon. Sometimes they live close enough for us to visit, sometimes not. They don’t travel on the 25th.

I’ve always told everyone that Christmas Day will be spent at home with my babies bc I’ve always had to travel for Christmas and now that I have my own little one (he’s 2 1/2) then I am not traveling anymore for Christmas unless it’s my own decision! Christmas Eve is up for grabs for whoever calls it first but Christmas Day is at my house with just me my fiancé and our son. Unless we have my mom or grandparents staying with us. But we DO NOT travel for it at all. I’m more than happy to go visit my mom/grandparents the weekend before or after if they can’t make it here for Christmas but I always made it clear to Everyone that Christmas Day is OUR day. And honestly if your family isn’t okay with that then it is on them. You have young children and if your mom wants to spend Christmas with them then she can come see them. I’m curious as to why your mom is causing a fight though. Does she feel like she doesn’t get to see your kids as much as other family? Or is it reasons that are completely unrelated to that? I think It would be a good idea for you to have Christmas at your house this year or maybe start doing it every other year or so and having people come to you so you can have a break.

You pretty much answered your own question. If your gut is telling you Christmas with your side of the family will be a shit show, then skip it and stay home to celebrate with your in-laws. Rather make good memories than bad ones

Oh my. This is my life. So I know EXACTLY what you’re dealing with. I did this for years, fighting back and forth and dragging my kids from this place to that place. We were al exhausted and unhappy by the time it was all done. So what we started was our own family traditions with our little family at home. And if your family doesn’t like it, oh well. You have to think about your family, and you have to keep your sanity. I mean I love my family, but I can’t deal with all the drama and back and forth bullshit. And since we’ve started our own little family thing, we’re all so much happier and it’s just peaceful. :woman_shrugging:t2: