I am upset that I won't ever get to have a natural birth again: Advice?

I recently gave birth to my third baby. My oldest two are 11 and 8, and I had them naturally. I thought I was done having babies, and when I ended up pregnant again at 32, I was ecstatic. I was so excited to do the whole labor all over again, as it was something I thought I was done with. When we found out the sex of the baby, my husband and I decided we would have one more child after this to try for a boy (we have three girls now). So when I went into labor on Christmas Eve, I was so ready and excited. I got to the hospital, and I was at 6cm and ready to go, and then the doctor pulled the rug out from under me. The baby had flipped breach, and I had to have an emergency c section. It was the scariest day of my life. I cried the entire time. I feel like a failure. We don’t want to wait for the 18months my doctor says I have to wait to get pregnant again in order to try for a VBAC. So if we want to have a son, I have to consign myself to the fact that I will NEVER have another natural labor. I will never feel my baby birthed into the world through my body. And that makes me so sad and so angry. And I know I should be grateful that I have the ability to have children in the first place when so many women don’t have that. If it was you, what would you do? Would you wait the 18 months, or would you just deal with knowing you have to have another c section? Am I wrong for being upset about this? I love my baby and am so happy that she is here and safe, and the doctors were great. It just wasn’t what I was expecting when I went into labor.

43 Likes

I would wait , give that new baby some time to be the baby ! && give that body time to heal , some serious damage can be caused by having babies when the body isn’t healed !

13 Likes

Yes… wait and heal… and than heal some more… and than go talk to a professional about your feelings…

9 Likes

Be happy you can have children, who cares how they are born if they are healthy…

17 Likes

You’re only 32 💁. Wait the 18 months. Its better for your body anyway.
And having a c-section doesn’t make you a failure.

8 Likes

Your feelings are valid. You are valid.
If you wait long enough, the more likely you’ll be able to have a VBAC.
Please allow your body to heal from the Csection so that you can have a healthy pregnancy again.

6 Likes

I would wait to give your body the healing time it needs. Also, all labors are different and may not be what we thought. Doctors need to do what is best for the baby and mother. Don’t be so hard on yourself, there is no shame in having a c-section.

1 Like

U sound selfish as fuck…

19 Likes

Women are dying in childbirth in Africa due to lack of medical care.

5 Likes

There is nothing about having a c section that makes you a failure. I had 2 c sections and I’m not a failure. Been pregnant 6 times and have 2 kids. Be grateful you can even have babies. There’s ALOT of women who can’t at all. How they are born shouldn’t be an issue as long as mother and baby are safe. :roll_eyes:

22 Likes

Your post is unbelievable selfish, immature and shallow…
Wake up, and grow up…

17 Likes

You have three healthy girls in about 3 years try for another one four is plenty these two ahead of me are right for some women think their baby machines good luck

This is actually pretty disrespectful.

10 Likes

Having a c-section isn’t a failure as a parent. You have a healthy baby girl. It doesn’t matter if it comes out of your vagina actually comes out of your stomach it is what it is.my daughter’s first child was a C-section because he sat sideways the whole entire time. You have healthy children it doesn’t matter how you have them

Some people never get to have a child natural delivery or c-section. No matter how desperately they might want children. Maybe it’s your hormones talking, I sure hope that’s the case because the whole goal of any pregnancy is a healthy baby! I’ve never been in labor, both my babies were c-sections and if I have another it will be a c-section, I don’t have a choice. Maybe step back and really reevaluate your priorities and goals. In the whole scheme of things your big concern is actually pretty trivial. Be thankful you can have children at all, plenty of women struggle and can’t. Be thankful you do not know that heartache.

This is one of the most selfish things I think I’ve ever read on the internet and where in the hell would you think that you’re guaranteed a boy for your next child good luck with that honey… and having a baby is not all about you just so you are aware of that… what part of emergency C-section did you not understand there really wasn’t a choice in the matter

42 Likes

Having a c section does not make you a failure. I had one and it made me a mother to my beautiful son. You make it sound like a c section is so taboo. :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

I git you love your kids and want more but having a c-section doesnt mean you cant have natural birth. Plenty of women do. Accept what the good Lord gives you. Wth

3 Likes

How about just be grateful you have a healthy baby?

21 Likes

At least you can have children :+1:

12 Likes