Hi… so I am pregnant with this guy, but I feel no romantic feelings for him… I thought I loved him. He treats my son like his own and is more active in my current pregnancy than my ex ever was…but I don’t feel anything. I feel just numb. My ex was horrible to me…cheated, mentally/physically abusive, made me move away from my family, the list goes on. But I loved him. Like, way more then he deserved. Now I have this new guy who is trying in his own way, but I feel nothing. The only issue with him is that I’ve asked him to stop drinking, and he did for a while but is back at it again, drinking a 30 bomb a night…when he drinks, he is mean and spiteful. Calls me names like cnt, btch, stupid… and the next day he is always apologizing about what he said, but he hasn’t stopped. Tells me he loves me more than anything but can turn around and do this kind of stuff. I tried to leave to just think of things, and he said if I leave I am never allowed back…he won’t let me go to my moms without him, calls me constantly at work, says I’m cheating because I was trying to hide what I got him for Christmas… I had to show him my phone every night when I get home too just to keep from fighting. Starting to make me think there’s an issue with me. Why do I keep picking these guys? I grew up watching my dad beat my mom, cheat on her when I was three. I remember him choking her till she passed out… it’s like a constant reminder that I won’t ever find a peaceful relationship. I just feel lost. I want to love and be happy, but I feel nothing. I’m stressed so much that I’m not gaining much weight. I’m really nervous about my unborn son. What kind of life will he have if I can’t gain weight? If I can’t find peace? Is he hurting, or is malnutrition really affecting him? I don’t sleep and can’t keep food down. I’m losing my hair. I feel like trash. I just want to feel something other than anger or depression. My doctor gave me some depression pills, but I puke then back up every time. I just…I guess I just want some encouragement that things will get better. Cause I don’t believe myself anymore when I say it… I can center myself with my older son and just be calm when I’m home alone with him, but the second my boyfriend gets home, my nerves act up, and I panic. Like, full force panic attack sometimes. I haven’t had one since my older son was three months old, and I left my ex and drove the 15 hours home in winter from South Dakota to Washington. Is it me? Is it my pregnancy hormones making me a little crazy? Or do I really have reasons to feel this way? Has anyone gone through this?
U have a pattern of leaning towards bad men or men with bad habits. Love urself more n make u happy. No need to stay where ur not appreciated or truly wanted.
Things will get better. I strongly suggest counseling to deal with the trauma you experienced.
Listen to what that voice is telli g you. Get out while you still have a chance,
You definitely have major red flags… that are telling that this is another abusive & controlling relationship…it looks like he changes when he drinks,watch out for physical abuse next… I would get a plan together and start saving $$$$, so can leave 4 good… if worse comes to worse you can go to a shelter for domestic violence,or get your family to help you if they can…
Run and run fast this is the beginning stages of domestic violence you do not want to bring a child into that or have your son see that and think this is OK to treat women like that. No matter if he profess his love if he can go into a controlling person in a spin this is never gonna get better it will get worse even if you have to be alone for a time it’s better to find yourself to learn to love yourself before you can get into a relationship find support groups for domestic violence victims you will learn so much about this situation to help you move on with your life in confidence
Honey, read what you wrote again. This is a classic abuser. Get out and never look back. Nothing will ever get better.
walk away. this man doesnt show you love or respect. He doesnt deserve you or your son. Show your son your no ones doormat
Leave this new guy. You deserve better and you will find the right one.
Your poor children. If you knowingly expose your children to such behaviour you are guilty of child abuse.
Please leave him before he does something to you or your children.
Leave now. And please try to get professional help for you and your son.
I grew up watching my father abused my mother physically and emotionally, and he fathered kids with at least 3 women that I know of, no way in heck I was gonna let any man abuse me like that, I honestly think you pick these guys cause you don’t want to take care of yourself, for what I read on your post, they are taking care of you and your children, heck the government can do it and you don’t have to love it, JS.
Listen to your gut feeling , do not ignore the red flags
Before it’s too late
Take time to be single, to learn to love yourself and realize your worth and take care of your kids on your own, you have to break that cycle or your kids will end up doing the same damn things. Been there done that , then learned to love myself and went to therapy for me it worked.
Run don’t walk U deserve better!! Too many red flags!!
He will never change !!!
Leave, leave soon rather than latet
Been there…Leave now it will never get better…