I am worried about my daughter going to her dads during this pandemic: Advice?

Good morning! I’ve never reached out for advice, but with everything going on in the world, I needed some advice or opinions from some mamas! My ex-boyfriend and I share a 6-year old daughter. He and I have a great co-parenting relationship and an overall good friendship! I’m facing a dilemma at this current moment and can’t seem to figure out the right move to make and/or how to go about it. He works on the road, so he very rarely sees his daughter, which is completely understandable. He arrived back home last night and wanted to pick up our daughter sometime today for about ten days. However, his girlfriend is a respiratory therapist who is in and out of the hospital every day. My concern is, I’ve got a 67-year-old father with AFIB, and if he ever got exposed to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m just not sure how his body would respond. I am a single mother, so I depend on my parents to help me at times to watch my two daughters as my job often requires early mornings or late nights. I don’t want to upset the father of my child or his girlfriend because I know they’re just trying to make a living like the rest of us during this COVID-,19 crisis, but I’m also aware that I need to do what’s in the best interest of myself, my two daughters and their grandparents! I guess the point behind this long, boring story is, should I allow my daughter to go with her dad today, or should I tell him that until the health crisis has calmed down, I would prefer she remains at home? He lives in a different town than we do, and there was finally a case confirmed yesterday in his town, and where his girlfriend works, there are now two confirmed cases (we live in rural areas). Any advice would be SO much appreciated!

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As long as they are doing everything to keep safe in their home I say let her go to her dads. Talk to him and see what he says.

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It’s definitely a hard decision right now, I would find out what precautions are being taken at there house, making sure the girlfriend is being extra careful which I’m sure she is! But as long as they are being safe & taking everything seriously I would let her go

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I’m not letting my son go to his dads until this is all over. You just never know! Better safe than sorry! Plus I have very young kids so if he were to go then he could possibly bring something home. That’s just me tho.

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The question is do you have a visitation schedule done with the courts? Because those are all still standing and have to be adhered to just like any other time.

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No just talk to her dad…already everyone is quarantined these days so he will understand it

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Keep your daughter home. Her father should understand, if he truly loves her. Call your attorney.

Keep her home. They should understand, especially the girlfriend.

My husband is a respiratory therapist and there are 61 cases at his hospital. It’s very scary. We have 5 kids here as well and I babysit. As long as they take the standard precautions all should be ok. My girls dad rather them stay here then visit with him every other weekend. Makes no sense but I’ll take iy

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Courts are standing by court order visitations, there are lawyers posting on their pages that they have been asked this question. They are pretty much tired of the question being asked.

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If it was the other way around and your daughter was with him most of the time, would you want him to allow her to stay with you for 10 days?

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If you have a court order for visitation you have to uphold it still right now. Seeing both parents is essential.

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That’s a difficult question, but I say if the gf works healthcare she’s probably already been exposed but as long as she’s changing clothes and showering as soon she gets home from work and not showing symptoms your daughter should be ok going over there but me as a mother I would still be concerned. Maybe there’s a way they can still see each other I was going to say a park but they’re closed too

As someone who just left the hospital and has a compromised immune system, I would say no. But u cant live in fear. It’s hard to know what to do. I had to pretty much just do the same thing with my daughter. The visit will always be available, those are loved ones you are risking.

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I sent my kids to their dads for quarantine it’s appalling to me how many of you act like the father is a subpar parent like he can’t manage to take care of his kid as well as you can, at home, in a house, same as you’re doing.

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14 days of self isolation before daughter can go there. If he was on the road, you dont know where he has been and who/what he was in contact with. People have to self isolate for 14 days. With his GF in and out of a hospital helping all the sick people (bless her), it would (to me) be an even bigger issue because she can bring something home.
I get he wants to see her…but taking her before self isolating for those 14 days to make sure hes in the clear isnt smart. Once the 14 days of him isolating is done…let her go. She does need to see her daddy. That’s what I think.

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I would keep her home. That’s just me though. And a good parent would understand that.

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Be smart people, play it safe!

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We sent our son to his moms for a visit. She didn’t abide by the stay at home order so we have forgone our time with him bc we simply can’t risk contamination. It’s a very tough call to make but you have to protect EVERYONE. We have 2 more children here and an elderly parent to protect. You can still have her make calls and video chats.