I can't decide if I want another child or not: Thoughts?

Post anonymously, please. I cannot decide if I want another child or not. I think about it all the time and keep going back and forth. My husband is gone a lot for work (I’m supportive because he is doing it to care for our family) and we don’t really have any informal supports other than my MIL who is not overly helpful other than watching my son once a week while I work which we sort of pay for. I work full time as well, and our son goes to daycare the other days. I love his daycare, but it’s expensive. He is almost four, so we only have a year and a half left to go. That is going to be a huge amount back in the budget. We can easily afford another regardless. I’m terrified though of what it may mean for myself with no help with two. I’m fine now that it is one on one, but my son is a handful, and even now, it can get stressful when there is no one to call to help ever. I never wanted just one, but I never thought I would be doing this much on my own either. Has anyone else felt this way? What helped you make your final decision? TIA!

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Just do it :heart: you’ll be happy you did. The fact your even going back and fourth w making a decision I feel like you’ve made one already. You want another. Goodluck :purple_heart::blue_heart: if everyone waited for everything to be perfect noone would have any children lol

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When you have even #s of kids they have a play buddy. Someone to grow up with. I have three girls. There is always an odd man out which means I have more interaction with them.

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You sound very happy to have a family of 3. And that is okay! Chosing to have one child will allow you to spoil him. Lol

My husband and I are in our 40’s and were both raised only children. One of the reasons we had our 2nd was so our 1st would not be alone in the world.

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I’m in a similar situation as my husband works nights, I know it’s not the same because I do have some help in the morning but I do the night time alone which is a lot. I am pregnant now with our second and we are both thrilled. It’s so scary to think about what will happen when this baby comes but also exciting. I have considered getting a babysitter to help with just the bedtime routine for an hour or so or even someway to have dinner on the table without having to cook with 2 babies. Still working on how to figure it all out but I’m sure we will. If you want more than one, I say do it now so they are close enough in age and also you’re still in that mindset of taking care of a little one because once your oldest is in school you may not want to go back to “less freedom” in a way. Either way, it sounds like it will work out for you

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I am in a similar situation where I believed I wanted more child
I had one and my SO had one and then we had one together.
He was against having another child, I wanted another very badly.
Our son who is now 17 months is a handful and a half and I’m so thankful we never had another.

Also his child support more than doubled
He went from paying $500 a month to paying 1100.00 a month for his first son.

We can afford another but it would all be put on me to take care of another.
Our child is a constant crier and has been since he was 4 months old.
Nothing like my first child.

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I have 3 and my husband has always been an OTR driver. It’s not easy but we did it without anyone’s help.

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Sounds like you already know the answer to that. Maybe give yourself a time limit… say in 6 months if you still feel like you want another child, try for one. Good luck!

Wait until your little one is in school and then have another

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Mind you my oldest was 10 when we got pregnant and then we had another baby a year later!

Work things out better for at least few years… he’s already 4 and a handful…

Wait a couple of years, at least then your son will be able to help you around the house…

I have a 17 year old, 7 year old and a 1 year old… and I have a lot of help for my little one from my 17 and 7 year old

How old are you? Just asking because you can still wait until your lil one is older and less of a handful. Plus you may be in a different situation some yrs down the road too. I’m 41 ,I have 2 girls 20 and 12. Was totally done with my second so I thought lol. 21yrs later and a divorce I started over and I’m nowc8 months pregnant with my first lil boy and I couldnt be happier. Just my experience lol. It’s ok to wait a little bit to consider more. If your considering it then I think you would like another question is just when would be a good time and I think when your lil one is less of a handful lol. My girls are 7 yrs apart and they are the best of friends. I also had great help when my second was born .

I had three as mostly a single mom . I wouldn’t trade them for anything . Was it hard ? Of course . But , we made it and each of my grown kids loves their siblings . I had one difficult child , but he turned out to be an amazing man ! I wouldn’t have it any other way and the kids loved having one another to play with ! Good luck with your decision .

You need to sit down and write a pros and cons sheet what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your mother-in-law what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your mother-in-law may not be what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your mother-in-law may not be able what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your mother-in-law may not be able to handle what are you going to do with a newborn that will have to have care everyday because your mother-in-law may not be able to handle a newborn and and then and then and then there’s and then there’s the and then there’s the cost of diapers and then there’s the cost of diapers formula and your recovery time that alone will put a dent in your budget so sit down with a pros and cons sheet and look at your expenses can you afford it right now

I’m a single mother of 3. Its doable. I wouldn’t want another by myself though so I feel your dilemma. 1 though…you will be fine with another, if that’s what you really want.

You need to find your tribe in the community! MOPS is a Christian based baby-preschool Moms group. There are tons out there. Many local parks have programs for small kids. Churches are good for making connections or a preschool to meet other parents.

I’m on my second baby and only ok with it because my kids are going to be far apart in age. My daughter is 8 and will be alot more easier dealing with an older one and a baby vs two babies together. My husband works graveyard right now so he’s not gonna be alot of help once baby is here in July but know that it will be fine because the older one will be able to watch and help feed baby while I’m cooking dinner getting bed time going then just have to look after baby while she’s asleep. But I will not be having another one after this the pregnancy has been hard on me and my body,my husband is always asleep or at work. The only good thing is having my parents so close if I need them. Hubby wants another after this one but I feel I’m done it should be how you feel you can handle it because ultimately we are the main ones caring for our babies.

Don’t have another unless you and your husband are 100% sure you want another. Your child will be fine as an only child

2 is a piece of cake but wait if you’re unsure