I cheated in the beginning of our relationship: Should I leave?

What to do so I cheated on my so at the beginning of our relationship like the first 2 or 3 months I was still talking to other people sending pics etc… fast forward now he’s still having problems getting over it what should I do end things or what?

18 Likes

Yes, should’ve never kept the relationship going to be honest. If he cannot forget he will never forgive you and it will just lead into him not trusting you. And that’s a major factor.

31 Likes

If he can’t get over it its probably best to go your separate ways. He probably lost his trust for you.

13 Likes

If he cannot let it go, leaving is your only option. If he cannot get past, he never will and it will get worse over time.

12 Likes

He will never let you live it down I was married 33 yrs yes I stepped out all because he wasn’t home his friends were more important…

2 Likes

Give him peace and let him go. If he is able to over come in the future and wants to have the relationship again you should be ready to be faithful. He should be ready to forgive and trust you again before that.

6 Likes

If you are cheating after 2-3 months then clearly they aren’t the one for you 2-3 months is meant to be the honeymoon period where no one else is even on your mind and your at it like rabbits looool…

16 Likes

Was etc sleeping with other people?? Was you official when this happened like did you all say to eachother your official my current partner cheated at the beginning but we made it work but if he is to forgive he has to forgive and forget not throw it in your face whenever you have an argument as it will destroy your relationship x

2 Likes

Cheaters can’t be trusted, break it off and spare him the future disappointment.

16 Likes

How long have you to been together? It can take time for someone to except what happened to forgive and be able to move forward. But depending on how long ago this happened could be you two need to go your separate ways. If it is still fresh could still need time to process but if several months or years since this happened then may need to walk away because it could always be an issue with him and will always be brought up no matter how much time has gone by.

3 Likes

For me, This comes down to if the relationship is worth fighting for. People make mistakes and cheating is about as bad as it can get when it comes to mistakes in a relationship. Cheating effects the other partner long term, so if you’re both not willing to work through it long term, it will never work. It literally effects your brain like traumatically, so that can make it almost possible to “forgive and forget”. I don’t think every single relationship that faces this issue is automatically going to fail with no chance of working past it but it is exactly that, WORK. And from my personally opinion, love takes time to grow as well. You may not have loved your partner the way you do now. These feelings take time to build and grow. I think that’s why people used to refer to ‘dating’, as seeing multiple people before being exclusively committed to your partner. I by no means am okay with cheating, in fact I am the one who was cheated on in my relationship, and with fairly harsh unfair circumstances. To make a long, painful story short, i’ve known my fiancé for 12 years and we’ve always had feelings for each other. We started spending time together August of 2019 and began dating October 2019. I fell pregnant early November 2019. We were working in the same facility together and he ended up sleeping with our employee for pretty much the entire month of march 2020. Devastated is an understatement for how i was feeling, especially since his reasoning was, i wasn’t giving him enough attention, we didn’t have sex enough anymore and he felt i wasn’t attracted to him anymore, we rarely connected , etc. Again. I was pregnant and working 50-60 hours a week as a medication technician in a skilled nursing facility. So yes. It was completely bullshit on his end and it took a really long time to even be willing to talk through it with him but that’s what it came down to. Excepting what happened on both ends and wanting to work through it. We figured out where a lot of the problems stemmed from and maybe if we had more communication early in our relationship, maybe i would have understood that he was feeling neglected, and maybe he would have understood the physical and emotional changes i was enduring from pregnancy. (Let’s be real, guys just don’t understand!!) Maybe i could have tried talking to him about it more and he wouldn’t have just felt like i was ignoring him and just suddenly not interested in sex anymore. Again, i don’t think it’s okay. We face a lot of extra obstacles pretty often but we accepted that would happen and we work through it together. I feel a lot better now and i’m learning to trust him again but there are times where i just can’t shake the funk. Times where i hear the other girls name and i’m depressed for the next hour or two, times where we drive past our old place of work and i have to fight tears, and when we talk about having another baby in the future and i can’t help but worry and wonder if this could happen again when i’m pregnant again. Sounds miserable, right??? It’s definitely not fun or ideal but everyone makes mistakes and it just so happens we both thought our relationship was worth fighting for. Today he is an amazing father, my heart fills with a new kind of love when i watch him comfort and care for our daughter. He treats me incredibly, and we still have normal arguments and fights like everyone else because that’s how life goes. Nobody is going to be perfect. You just have to find the perfect person to work through the good and the bad with. It breaks his heart to think about the pain he caused me, and he says he regrets it daily, and i believe him. Which is why he works so hard every day to show me that i am enough, i am everything he wants, and i am beautiful. He constantly is reassuring me when i need it. This might be annoying to a couple who didn’t go through this, but when i feel like i need to ask where he is or when he’ll be home from work, he just answers right away and isn’t bothered by that. Because he knows and has accepted his decisions and the long term effects they’ve had on our relationship. It still hurts and i’m sure it always will. But we work hard every day and in some ways i think it’s made us stronger. We communicate more than i ever have with anyone before, we make sure we have time just for the two of us, we talk about each others feelings and needs, and ask if there’s anything either of us could do better for them. We endured pain, and mistakes, but we’ve now never been stronger. I love this man more than everything and i love our family and our daughter so much. I’ll never forget what happened, but it’s not impossible to forgive. If it’s something you want, and you believe in your heart is worth working for, then work for it. Understand that even as time passed, your SO may need that reassurance. They may need to feel a little extra love here n there. But if it’s worth it, you won’t mind.

1 Like

Coming from a guy, I’m surprised he stuck with you.

4 Likes

Yea he has every right to feel those things. Break it off for him, you don’t deserve him at all…

6 Likes

Yes you should leave.

1 Like

The fact that u cheated so early in your relationship and now you here asking if u should leave just goes to show u dont really feel anything for him.so save both of yourls sanity and leave.if u cheated and he took you back you should have worked harder on gaining his trust and making it work and reassuring this man that it won’t happen again.instead his so insecure and u undecided.best to part ways and allow each other to find true happiness and pure love instead of being together and being miserable.

17 Likes

I say you need to separate because he’s never going to forget what you done to him and he’ll always remember it

Yes. Based on the way you worded this whole thing you should. You did him wrong.

3 Likes

That happened to me. He said he forgave me. But between 6-8 years of dating. He became disrespectful. Cheated on me (since I did it to him) and all kinds of bogus excuses for his bad behaviors. So. I wished I woulda left when it happened.

3 Likes

Yes leave…he’ll get on your nerves about it until the very end & will use it as an excuse for any inappropriate things he does in the future. In time, you’ll find someone new with no relationship baggage.

3 Likes

Coming from a girl who did the same but only once… He will not let it go and trust will be broken… We can be having a good day then all of a sudden something triggers him n he be like you cheated on me… We were together a yr plus and have a baby together… Some days are harder than others but now im not doing anything… But we are doing what’s best for us… Plus at the beginning of a relationship you really dont know if that person is ur person

1 Like