I dislike my sons hyphenated last name: Can I change it?

My son is 4 1/2. His last name is hyphenated, and I kind of regret it. His father and I have not been together since he was eight months old. His father is in the picture and is very involved in his life. Do any of you have older kids with hyphenated last names? Did they choose to use just one as they got older? Do they not like it? I kind of wish I would have just given him my last name, even though his dad is very much in his life; he is so much closer and more involved with my side of the family. He sees my parents and his cousins on my side literally every single day. He only sees his father’s family a couple of times a year. Just want to get others’ opinions on this, and if you think he’ll end up choosing one name over the other when he’s older.


Leave his name and let it be. And don’t ever say things like that to your child. It’s not about you.


He very well might choose one over the other. I’d leave it as is. Let it be his decision. Besides, do you really want to go through the crap if his dad throws a fit? Maybe I’m just too old to deal with it.

1 Like

I would leave it alone. You’re just going to I stir up a lot of bad blood and at 4 your kid doesn’t care. But if his father is involved in the kids life you should be thankful and just leave well enough alone. I guarantee you it means a lot to the father, that kid is just as much his as he is yours. You wouldn’t get a name change approval anyways without both parents agreement.


Not really fair to him or his dad that you want to change it all of a sudden. Sorry but that’s kind of selfish


Technically if you wanna leave one last name it’s the dad’s last name


Good thing a judge would have to sign off on this and there is no way that he would since dad is involved! Stop being selfish and causing problems where there aren’t any.


Why now? Just leave it as is and he can decide to change it if he wants when he’s older.

I changed my son’s but his dad was not in his life at all!


It’s not just up to you it’s also up to his dad, who is equally as important and equally as much his parent. I’m willing to bet a judge wouldn’t change it just because you’ve decided you don’t like it. Especially since he has an active dad who would likely fight it


I had a hyphenated maiden name and I dropped both when I got married. If you want the child to have one last name, it should be his father’s last name.


I’d leave it be. His dad is in his life. It would be different if he wasn’t.


I think it’s kinda messed up to just kick his dad’s last name to the curb. Especially if he is a good dad. Don’t you think that would upset him? Hurt his feelings? I’d imagine it would. Can you even make a decision like that without his approval? If he wasn’t in the picture or was a deadbeat than I’d totally get it but if he is a good dad that’s kinda just like mean. If anything take your last name off if the hyphenatedness bothers you do much. Or just leave it be. But I think itd be really hurtful to take away his dad’s name just cuz you don’t like it… :frowning: Makes me sad for his dad


Leave it be and let him decide what he wants to do when he’s older.


Myself and 3 of my kids have a hyphenated name. I’ve split ties with my family and I want to drop Fortner, just use Watrous.

I’m probably going to keep the kids with their full name and they can change it when they are older and understand why my family is not in the picture.

To regret a last name after a separation seems a bit bitter… Leave it be… If you and his dad were still together I doubt very much you’d have this same ‘regret’…


I’m leaving it up to my son. Personally, I think hyphenated names are just long and unnecessary. While I was filling out my sons paper work in the hospital, his dad through a temper tantrum that I just put my last name. We were never together, he’s involved in his life but we have a hard time co- parenting as of late. Then I had my daughter and gave her my last name. So now I feel like he’s kinda left out. But when he’s of age I’ll leave that up to him.

I think when you son gets married, he can legally change it to his new family name.

My cousin grew up with a hyphenated last name Dennard-Brown and that never caused problems

1 Like

My girls have hyphenated last names and they are 22, 19 and 15. The oldest only uses both of hers for legal things but otherwise uses my maiden, the middle uses both and my youngest uses my maiden. I left it up to them on which one they used and even though they dont have a good relationship with their dad they still keep his to keep from hearing his mouth.

1 Like