I do not feel like myself anymore: Advice?

I’m right there with you. IT IS HARD. It’s also harder since we are in a pandemic. It’s easier said then done when someone says meet a friend for lunch, join mommy groups, talk to someone when you feel like you have no one. At night, start doing things you love. Read a book, take long hot baths, keep a journal, message a friend on Facebook if that’s easier, binge your favorite show. Its cold out (where I live) but go to a book store or any favorite store and just browse. Find a new hobby that you didn’t think of and if you have anyone close, let them hang at the house and help or drop the kids off even if it’s an hour. You need to decompress at the end of the day and get back into yourself even if it’s tiny steps.

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You need me time. I was just there and I’m slowly getting back to myself.

Find mommy friends, go for a walk with the kids, try spend time to urself…

you said what you need to do… fill your cup. no excuses. it’s that important.


Its really oky to get a babysitter /granny/trustworthy friend/or husband and go and be 20(obviously in a responsible way) go to a festival and dance yourself silly or go to the salon get a new cut or something you find thrilling. Im 25 had my daughter at 21. Now that shes older i do go out and enjoy myself like a music festive when it was not lockdown.:woman_shrugging:

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It never ends love !!! U have to just get used to it in now nearly 52 and still trying to find myself , gets worse aswell as you get older an your kids get older let me tell you ! :pleading_face::worried:

I’d say look into meds but they didnt help me. Sure, everyone is different but antipsychotics are not for me.
BUT finding time for just me has helped. If dad wont help, find a sitter. Go do something for you, once a day, once a week or once a month, whatever you feel like you need. I havent had a chance to do anything for me outside of my home in so long I literally feel like I’m going crazy. I’m a stay at home mom of a 3 yr old and a 9 month old and nothing about it is easy. All day its play, feed, change, clean, laundry, play, play, feed, change, clean, play, etc… it’s a never ending cycle. Do yourself a favor and find a way to DO YOU! you and your children will thank you when you become a happier version of yourself

Be willing to say my tank is empty. I did this morning and it at least got my husband to get the kids involved in something away from me. I have 3 under 5

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What you are feeling is normal. Carve out a few quiet hours for yourself each week somehow, and try to remember that before long they will be engaged with friends, off on their own paths. You will “find yourself” once again one day… At least I did when my 4 kids no longer needed or wanted all of my time. As much possible relax & enjoy this time with the kiddos… you will regain your self, but these times when your kids are young can never be replaced…
Again, just a few hours alone each week can refresh & restore.
Good luck friend.

Do you do anything just for you? One night a week go take an art class or learn a new thing like pottery. Go out to lunch with friends your life has become all about your kids which is great but easy to lose ones own self. Must be some me time.

Your vit d might be low esp if you dont get outside much. …do you get any time for yourself ? Being a mom is awsome but, you need time for youself to regenerate, there is only so much barney an adult can tolerate.maybe if possible. Your s.o. can watch them for a while so you can do something you used to enjoy .you have a very demanding job .raising kids is not easy . you must take care of you too.

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Turn up the hip hop and do some dancing!

Time away from being mom doing something/things that you like!!! And no mom guilt!!! We All
Need it!!!

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I know the feeling. I had 3 kids 5 and under years ago. I had days I never knew up from down but I did it and I moved on. My worst moment; oldest wanted to go outside to play (we lived in FL and red ant hills all over the yard…so I always went out first to get rid of them all), 2-year old daughter being potty trained and a baby wanting to be nursed. All 4 of us, were in the bathroom and I just sat their and cried and asked myself ‘is it going to be this way everyday’? After that one day - I never cried again and moved on. My 3 kids are all in their 40’s now but I’m glad I had a ‘worst’ day and the common sense to move on.

There is a book “The Erotic Silence of the American Wife”… It talks about how, over time, American women lose themselves… They give and give, and do and do…over time becoming something, someone, other than their original selves. It is wise and insightful that you recognize that your cup is empty…that is step 1. Now, you have to rebuilt and replenish yourself, the same way you became depleted…one action, one moment, one d ay at a time. Give yourself permission to take care of you the way you take care of others… Practice forgiveness, and accept the process. Not every step will be in the forward direction. Reward progress. Keep a journal so when you feel discouraged, it will be easy to see how far you have come. This process…healing…rebirth will be good for your children to see…because one day, they may need to take similar steps.