I do not want my 14-year-old to have a boyfriend: Advice?

I need some advice from other moms of 14 yr old girls and wanting boyfriends. I do not want her to, but I also know that if I tell her no for everything, then she will hide things from me. I DO NOT WANT THAT. Please, no bashing. Just some advice

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Is there a reason why you dont want her to? Just asking.

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Compromise. Group “dates”, supervised “dates” hanging out at your house in a common room. Etc.

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I have a 14 year old son. He has a “girlfriend”. They see eachother during the day, text, and hang out at school functions.

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I told my daughter I would prefer her to wait until 16 at the minimum but I would appreciate it if she was honest and told me if she started dating younger than that

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Good luck with that :joy: you can’t control who she talks to at school

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Set some boundaries and rules. But to say she cant date is just going to be a whole other headache. Explain to her that you dont want her dating yet but ultimately she is going to make her own decisions and you want her to talk to you about them. I drive school bus and I cant tell you how many kids tell me things or have boy friends girl friends or even friends that their parents dont know about because they dont approve and they hide so much from them.

It’s better to be open so she can talk to you about it and not hide a relationship, you dont want them off who knows where and lying

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Ask her what it means to her to have a boyfriend.
Teach her to respect her body, herself, and your rules.
Explain to her WHY you dont want her to date or what you have against her definition of what having a boyfriend entails.

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The more you push they will rebel against you. Better to try to nip it of them not doing things out side of school. But modern those conversations.

Your not gonna like this. But put her on b.c. talk to her about sex.
Its gonna happen with or without your permission and when you tell her no it’s only going to make it worse.
Sometimes being her friend will get you further than being her mom. Maybe talk to her about your past experiences with boys.

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Have her bring all her friends home…that way you can meet them and gauge whether their behaviour etc is appropriate for your daughter to socialise with. Once you open your door to them you will find those with the wrong intent will not bother to visit…worked for me and my daughter

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You can’t keep her from getting a boyfriend. It’s just going to make her resent you and hide things. It will make you uncomfortable but eventually these things happen. Soon she will probably be having sex, I was 15 when I lost my virginity and my mom didn’t find out for a very long time because I knew there would be ‘consequences’ but it’s natural? You have to accept it and be open and honest. She’s growing up, and you can’t stop her. So just be there for her.

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I teach middle school. I have been told by so many parents over the years that “my daughter/son is not allowed to date”. If they only knew that is is happening anyway!!! Wouldn’t it be better to allow her to with guidelines so she won’t be afraid to talk to you about it instead of having her hide it from you? By the way, I have raised three daughters so I completely understand you being fearful of her dating. It is so scary, but you want her to be talking to you for advice. Good luck.

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Let me tell you… when i was her age my mom told me i wasnt allowed to have a bf… let’s talk about how the entire nashua pd was looking for me and my friend (her mom being a cop) didnt turn out well… needless to say, i had a bf either way lol its better to let her and have trust in her to be safe. Give her condoms and birth control. Itll help both of u in the long run! Trust me!!!

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My parents tried telling me who I cannot be around and hang out with and wouldn’t let me have a boyfriend at 14. So I rebelled, snuck things, withdrawn from my parents. Then I ended up pregnant at 14 lol. So best if you guys just come to a agreement and keep a open communication. You want her to come to you, not withdraw from you.

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I didn’t want my daughter to either but as a teacher in middle school, she’ll have one eventually. It’s better to communicate with her or she’ll do it, and other stuff, behind your back. I told my children they can like whoever, but they can’t date/boyfriends till HS.

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Tell her you will trust her until she gives you a reason not to

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I’m an aunt, God mom of teenagers around that age. I say let her have a boyfriend but under close parent supervision as much as possible without being overbearing

I don’t have a 14 year, but I was14 only 6 years ago. Try talking to her about why you don’t want her dating yet. Discuss your concerns and worries with her. If your daughter has a boy in mind that she really likes she may think your just being ridiculous and go behind your back. I did that to my mother. Maybe meet the boy she likes. Afterwards talk to her about if you think it’s a good idea for her to date yet. Remember she will have to learn from her own mistakes.