I don't get along with my boyfriends family: Advice?

So I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. We got together when we were 15, we just recently had our first beautiful baby girl October 1st, 2019, but I just can’t seem to get along with his family… his mother and sister are always in our business, constantly putting their two sense into our problems … his sister recently got mad at us and threw in my face that she gave me clothes for our daughter ( mind you I didn’t ask for them she just gave them to me and I’ve told her to thank you multiple times ) and his mother talks mad crap about any and everybody but acts like she’s their best friend when around them … I don’t want to allow my daughter to be around them because they are her family, but I don’t want toxic people in her life … what should I do?

20 Likes

Id like to know what the boyfriend has to say… What are his views?
Perhaps this is a conversation you should be having with him. HOWEVER, I do not suggest leaving your child alone with either of them. Ever. Sound like really toxic people :flushed:

You are allowed to cut people out who are toxic to your well being. Be straight up with them and tell them how you feel. And then that way at least it was said clearly and they can decide to shape up and if not you dont need them :woman_shrugging:

They dont sound toxic they just sound like they want to be that more involved in her life, but as for mentioning the clothes, id give her them back then she has nothing against you.

4 Likes

Have some respect for yourself.

You do not have to put up with anyone who speaks ill, or treats you less than. Cut that shit out of your life.

Do what makes sense to you and your daughter…

I cut off mom and that whole side of the family off. Right before Xmas I even changed my number. Best thing I ever did. Family doesn’t mean shit if they are toxic

Limit contact with them

1 Like

Sounds exactly like my boyfriends mom and sister. I just stay clear.

1 Like

Has it always been this way? Or just since baby? My answer changes depending on circumstances.

1 Like

Stay clear. Let him take the baby to see them and you dont worry about it

1 Like

She’s YOUR baby. You are the boss of her. Make sure you man has your back.

1 Like

Keep visits to basic family functions holidays birthdays ect. The less spent together but that way ur including them in some way to honor ur boyfriend and she knows of the other half of the family

Is she abusive? Does she intentionally hurt you or others around you?! You can’t go cutting off people who make you uncomfortable. That’s your bf’s family. No ones perfect and maybe not getting to close is the answer. Pull back a little. Let her know her behavior isn’t settling well with you and then give her the chance to change. Everyone deserves a second chance after the situation is addressed in an appropriate Manner (meaning not getting upset and flying off the handle).

3 Likes

Geez please tell me u don’t live them! I wondered cause u said their always in your business…and it should be your boyfriend to confront them and tell them to back off…if not I don’t know to say other than keep your child away the dysfunction.

1 Like

I would keep letting them visit, but tell your husband and of course yourself that neither of them get any info on what’s going on in your life. If they ask how things are going…GREAT! And leave it at that. Those kind of people are easy to spot bc they talk a ton of shit about others and somehow think you are foolish enough to believe they arent doing the same to you. If hubby needs to vent tell him to talk to a guy friend not his mother or sister about it.

He needs to do the talking.

If ur boyfriend agrees I would cut them out. The only way it would work out is if he on the same page sadly cause if not he can fight u on it and if u guys broke up ur daughter would end up on around them since that his family

Draw boundaries!! You are an adult and you’re now a mother. This was hard for me to actually realize. When they go against your wishes, stand up and speak. If they continue, back off visitation or talking. But, communicate. Let the sister know, that yes she gave your daughter a gift of clothes. And while you appreciate it, you’ve expressed that to her and will not have it held over your head. It’s what people do :woman_facepalming:t4: she’s not special. Both of you need to stop going to them with your problems, you need to make sure your bf knows that.

4 Likes