I don't think its appropriate that my daughters step dad cuddles her: Advice?

I have a question. I want to be anonymous. I have two beautiful daughters, and I am pregnant with my third. My fiance is stepfather to my oldest, who is four and biological father to my 16-month-old and the current pregnancy. I have talked to him before about not cuddling with the girls and certain acts that are just not ok in my eyes. I came home, and he was cuddled up on the couch with my oldest (practically spooning), so I told him, please do not do that. He is now mad and saying I am completely wrong. Am I wrong to not be ok with this? Thanks in advance.

352 Likes

If you not trust him, why are you togheter?

65 Likes

I mean, if you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t have him around your children at all.

If you do trust him, why is it an issue?

34 Likes

Trust your gut! If it makes you uncomfortable then it’s just a no.

7 Likes

I honestly dont understand why you would have a problem with that.

20 Likes

Would it be okay if he was the biological father of your eldest would you still have the same problem?

4 Likes

I could trust my man and still feel uncomfortable about this :thinking: I agree with you :smirk::roll_eyes: I think it’s inappropriate. you have every right !

8 Likes

Yeh you’re in the wrong… You had a child with someone that you don’t trust around children and now you’re having another one with him? Dad’s are allowed to cuddle their kids… You have an issue

85 Likes

Seems like odd behaviour.

3 Likes

Jesus Christ. It’s not right and you know it

3 Likes

My 2 daughter’s have a stepdad (the father of my 3rd child) that they sit in his chair with him to watch t.v. I see no harm. Spooning is something else. My 2 yr old sometimes crawls in the bed with us, but i trust him 100% so i don’t give it a second thought.

4 Likes

My ex father in law would try to do this with my oldest and i would always get mad BUT he would always try to make her get under a blanket. Outside a blanket is one thing under a blanket nope

7 Likes

There’s a reason why your uncomfortable with his behavior be diligent and if it happens again redirect the child find an excuse to get her away from him

4 Likes

I personally don’t see an issue with it. My 2 year old cuddles and snuggles with her daddy all the time. Sounds like your little one and her step-daddy have a good bond…but sadly, sounds like you may have some trust issues.

17 Likes

If this was her dad would you question it? If there is a reason you don’t trust him with her then he needs to go. Otherwise you’re going to ruin their relationship and your relationship with him.

28 Likes

I think it’s just up to you personally if you have an issue with it. I personally wouldn’t be bothered by it at that age, but as she got older then yes I could understand where that would be inappropriate. Good luck mama!

Trust your gut… if you feel he’s being creepy or inappropriate get rid of him immediately… if you don’t trust him to be alone with your daughter he should not be there…protect your daughter first & foremost…

15 Likes

I get the sense you have trust or your own personal issues your projecting into the situation. Take a step back and think how you’d feel if he said this to you.

9 Likes

Cuddling is one thing, spooning is another. Trust your instincts.

2 Likes

Not to seem insensitive, but an affectionate dad is a good thing.
Does the child feel comfortable with the step dads affection?
Would you be as concerned if he were her bio dad?
Again, I’m not trying to minimize your concerns.
I’m concerned that the OP is a victim of abuse so she’s hyper vigilant to a man’s affection towards a child. Sorry if I’m way off base.
My husband was affectionate with the child I brought into the marriage and he adopted. I was ok with it because Dads should be affectionate towards their children, step or bio.

23 Likes