I was wondering if you could please post anonymously. I’m looking for some advice. My best friend ( since we were infants, we’ve been inseparable) has a nine-month-old son. She’s a single mom who lives with her parents. She is 29, has a decent job, but she went through a breakup and moved in with them when she was pregnant. Anyway, ever since her son was maybe two months old, she’s been acting like a single, childless woman. don’t get me wrong, she loves her son, and you can tell she does, but she spends every weekend out with her friends or " dates." Sometimes some evenings after work too. and she leaves her son with her parents. i have three kids myself, I understand parents need breaks, but it’s to the point where its several times a week, on top of being gone all day at work (mon-Fri). I feel terrible. I feel awful for her son, whose father isn’t involved and who doesn’t get to see his mama as much as he should. And I also feel bad for my friend. i feel like she’s missing so much of her son’s life, and later in life, she will regret it. her parents are enabling her by agreeing to babysit as much as they do. I try to sneak little comments in about how she should stay home more without being blunt as her best friend im torn on what to do. I feel as though it’s not my place to say anything to her, but on the other hand, I feel as though maybe I should. Does anybody have any advice?
It sounds really unfortunate and it could very well be something she regrets, but on the other hand…are her parents good role models, good grandparents, etc for him?
Honestly, as a mom who has been through this, she sounds depressed… have you offered to maybe do things with the child and her? Play dates? Maybe she is having ppd? Ppd can actually show up at any time even when a child is 3! Ppd doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her child, it means she’s depressed and having a hard time coping with motherhood. It’s a tough situation and the best thing you can do is be there for her and offer a shoulder should she need it.
Mind your own business. Or you might lose a friend. A lot of group families function this way And if you bring it up you’ll look like your jealous of her freedom. You also sound bored of your own life. Hugs
My advice is the same as the last time this was posted. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Who are you to tell this woman what she should be doing with her child? You’re criticizing her parenting and her parents. So they’re enabling her because they watch their grandchild when she goes out? Seriously? Sounds like you could be a little jealous because you can’t get a break from your 3 kids.
Same as this was last posted.
Mind your own business.
Honestly, if I was to hear this from anyone it would be my best friend. I’d tell her, she may dislike you but honesty is always the best policy. If I had a friendship where they don’t call me out on my crap (or vice versa) than it’s not a true friend who is looking out for my best interests… not a "yes ma’am ". But that’s just me
Uummmm, there’s nothing wrong with her living her life differently then yours or parenting differently then you. She’s not putting said child in danger. If the parents have a problem with it ( and by the sounds of it you have the problem not them)they need to saying something to her. Not you. This is in no way affecting you or your home. Shes not asking you to take care of the child. By the sounds of it the parents aren’t inabling her at all. There letting her have a life, and figuring out her life. The biggest mistake your making is in thinking that everyone should go straight home and spend every free moment with there kids. And you sound super jealous. Could it be that she has the saport from her family to help, and you don’t, or something else?
You don’t know what she’s going through or the full story.
Shes irresponsible and her parents need to give her her baby back and tell her to move out. Maybe not cause it could turn into a Casey Anthony case.
Girl tell her she needs to be with her baby more. Break ups suck but she has a child now. Party days are OVER!
As a mother of 8 children (3 step and 5 biological) I see no problem going out and have some you time! My husband and I make it a point to take our kids on adventure every pay week and the next day is for us to have some time alone. Not every parent gets the chance to have “me time” and honestly it’s gets to a person sometimes. So honestly for myself at least having one day is good. But if she is a younger mother she might need more time to grow. But idk so as long as the kid is getting taken care of and all his need are being taken care of let her be!
Anyone else come into the comments just to read the toxic replies people give?
All these people saying mind your business blah blah blah basically making excuses for her
ugh no shut the hell up! It’s not her parents responsibility to raise her child they already did their job! All this psycho is going to do is wind up pregnant again and guess what? Her parents will be raising that one too…and eventually they will get tired of it unless their that stupid lol she sounds irresponsible and dumb as hell…she had the kid she needs to raise it or give her parents custody…can’t believe how many of you are enabling this shit. This is why the world is fucked up!
This has been posted not to long ago… they just changed minor details .
If she’s living her life life this because she wants to there’s no issue and it’s non of your business HOWEVER talk to her as a friend not in a judgemental way and see if she’s ok - maybe she’s not wanting to spend time with him as she has pnd , maybe she’s suffering after the break up - if you are as good and close a friend as you are making out you should have already spoken to her to see how she is
Also not all mums are mumsy mums not all of us want to be with our kids 24/7 and there’s nothing wrong with that either x
Myob. It’s her choice
Ah here we go again, if you’re feeling some type of way spend more time with the kid yourself and just mind your business. I couldn’t care less if my friends wanna
Go out all the time. Drop them babies off at my
House cause I’m not going out haha and y’all have fun. Don’t be so petty about something that doesn’t even effect you really
None of your business.
Stay in your own lane…
If her baby is only 9 months it’s very possible that she suffers from ppd. As you said, she loves her baby, so I’m sure she’s not intentionally neglecting her child. She is also a first time mom. I would let her be. It doesn’t sound like you guys are very… “close”. I went through a depression quite a few times and my best friend was there to support me not judge. You should try to gauge the situation and see if she is okay.