I don't think my in laws should be there when my oldest meets my new baby: Thoughts?

I’m about to have my second girl in a week. While I’m in the hospital, my in-laws will be watching my oldest. Due to covid the first introduction between my eldest and baby will be at home. My husband and I disagree on whether his parents should be there for the first introduction. I feel that my eldest should get one on one time with the baby and us with no distractions, but he thinks because his parents watched her they should be there for it. Thoughts and opinions? Please be kind.

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I think it should be just you, your husband and your kids for the first couple of days. Have time for them to meet, get settled at home, etc.

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That is a call you and your husband have to make. Maybe you can compromise and allow your in-laws to be there but from a distance and for a short bit of time. Just remember, the way you are feeling right now about your opinion is the same way your husband feels about his.

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Eh. I had a similar situation due to covid. My mom watched our oldest and brought him to our house after we got settled in with the baby. She stayed and let my son meet his sister and watched them interact before she held the baby. She was never a distraction to him and she’s his favorite person in the whole world. At that time it was just him and his sister. Nobody else in the room mattered to him.

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We’ve unintentionally done it both ways. Honestly my husband and I were both tired from getting no sleep at the hospital so it was nice when they were there to help occupy our toddler and hold the newborn while we took a nap as soon as we got home with our 2nd. We had our 3rd 11 months ago and due to covid in our area and because our baby had to be in the NICU for several days it was just us and it sucked because again we were both tired but this time had 3 kids (and our dogs) to deal with right away with no chance to catch up on sleep first.

I agree with your husband

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Having a baby is so special to everyone, especially our own parents seeing us parent. It wont hurt for them to be there, and it will give u time to rest.

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The siblings should meet first. And after y’all are settled then friends and family.

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I agree with your husband. Read your question…everywhere it’s “my” “my” “my”…are they your husband’s children too?

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Please don’t leave parents out!:rose:

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Not sure it’s big deal. Pick your fights

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Why is this even a question your all family !! What could it possibly hurt for everyone to be together!! Its not like they will be there all day every day !! Pettiness will not grow a happy healthy family!!

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I think you are being selfish

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This has to be a personal choice an compromise between you and your husband. Talk about the WHY you feel the way you feel and listen to the true whys he feels the way he does. Also think about if you’d feel differently if it were your parents instead of his.

My first, my whole family (including in laws) were there.

The second, I was alone except a friend, who brought my daughter to the hospital.

The third, our pastor watched them and my husband grabbed them for the hospital. We had other friends in and out of the room all day as well. It was wonderful.

With Covid, I’m not sure how I’d feel with anyone but my own mom or best friend. We aren’t close enough to his family for me to be like “yeah! Let’s do it!”

Take it from someone that does not have active grandparents in my kids lives…grandparents matter too.

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I think you should take a look at all the MY oldest, MY new baby, MY second girl, MY eldest. I’m not trying to be mean. As moms, we tend to think that way. Compromise.

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I would let them plus that means more people to capture that special moment they meet

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This is your decision. I let my cousins daughter hold my newborn first because I was bringing baby home, her siblings were going to have all kinds of time with new baby and my cousin was awesome enough to watch my older children. My “covid” baby is 9.5 months and knows her siblings super well. I haven’t seen my cousin in a few months and baby is not at all used to her or her daughter but I gave her daughter quite a memory bc I guess I’m the only one that has let her daughter hold a newborn lol. Her daughter is 7.

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As the grandmother who was once just a mother, this is very petty and immature. Don’t you want the grandparents to develop a natural bond with your kids? Regardless of your feelings, kids can’t have to many people who love and support them. If you were an adult you would nurture those grandparents/ grandchildren relationship.

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When we had our girl in October, my parents watched the boys. They brought them home after we had a few hours to get situated and met the baby. If part of you is worried about exposure to anything, they have already been around your other child, and it would be more likely if they come around at another time. At least that was our thoughts on it.

But this is a decision you guys need to agree on. Good luck!

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