I don't think my kids should have any contact with their dad: Thoughts?

The father of my two oldest children hasn’t had much to do with our kids for five years. Predictably, since he got into a new relationship and had two more children and raising his girlfriends two children from previous relationships, he seems to only get in contact with my children when he and his girlfriend are on breaks. Recently I have found out that he is on drugs. I don’t know the severity of the problem. I do know that he has a history of serious drug and alcohol abuse. The girlfriend/ex-girlfriend has allegedly kicked him out as she doesn’t want drugs around her kids. As they have now split, he is suddenly contacting my children again. We don’t mix with the same people anymore, and the people he does mix with have been lead to believe I am a horrible person, so wouldn’t tell me anything if I asked. I have messaged his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend but had no reply. I’ve never ever stopped my kids from having a relationship with him before, but as stands, I have put my foot down and told the children not to respond if he tries to contact them. Am I right to do this?


You can’t keep them from the father unless a court orders it
You need to prove it
You can’t just say it


if you have a custody agreement you should follow the agreement and go to the court house to file a motion and you have to have proof of the drug/alcohol you mentioned…if you don’t have a custody agreement then it really is up to you…but I would talk with the kids first see how they feel and what they want it is their relationship with him, go from there after speaking with them…then sit down with him and your kids see if you all can work together at this…in the end you don’t want to be that parent who didn’t try for them just saying…


It depends what they want.
He’s still their Dad.
Totally absence vs partial absence - which is worse…


U should never keep kids from their dad .let them decide for themself if they want a relationship with their dad ,if you keep them away from their dad when they grow up they will hate u for it.


It not your choice. How old are the children? Don’t go by what you heard. That’s immature.


That’s not your decision to make. Regardless of what you heard, he has a right to see his kids.
If incidents start happening while they are in his care then that’s a different story.

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yea unfortunately I dont think you have the right to not let him see them. Make it clear he is to be drug free when he does. I would check with a lawyer to find out exactly what your rights are

keep the kids away from the junkie okay everyone have an opinion if you haven’t been in a life what make you think he going to be in their life


If your children are in danger take him to court. You will need proof. With him having history of serious drug and alcohol abuse problems that shouldn’t be an issue. Ask for drug testing and supervision. Your children’s health and safety have to be your number 1 concern.


You have no legal right to keep him from his kids unless u can prove hes an unfit father. This sounds a whole lot like what my husband’s ex accuses him of yet none of its true. If your concerned prove him unfit. If you can’t then that tells you what you need to know

You don’t have any right as of yet to legally do that. HOWEVER, yes you have every right to protect your children from his dysfunctional bullshit. The burden of proof would be on you but it’ll all come to light if it’s indeed true. So go down to the courthouse if or once you have proof. Also matters somewhat how old they are, what they want, and what they understand. You can’t go by heresay. You have to go on facts. If you can’t prove anything or it’s simply not true then you let them have a relationship. You aren’t the end all be all parent sorry.

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1st, how old are your children?

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Contact legal Aid for advice.
Do you have a parenting plan already or any sort of custody agreement?
How old are the children?
Was he using when you were together? Has Child Services/Human services been involved in the past?
If you suspect he is currently using drugs while requesting visitation rights, seek legal advice asap as if you allow him unsupervised to see the children who knows what could happen, plus he could get angry very quickly if he is drug affected and compromise yours and the kids safety. Good luck x

I have no help to offer as my son’s father chose drugs and alcohol over being a dad and hasn’t tried to contact us for 4 years now. But I can understand what you’re going through and I’ll be praying for you and your babies. I hope everything works out ok.

Kids need their Dad! Simple! Unless they are in danger, don’t keep them from him. Why shouldn’t they be able to have ph, social media contact? Go on a picnic with them. See for yourself?

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Do what’s right you already know he only comes around if he’s on a break. F that. Father is a full time thing not when ever I feel like it.
Could you imagine if you as a mother did that?
I’ve been there done that. After coming in and out and hurt my kid on and off. It was time to cut the cord.
F him and take care of you and your kid.

Protect your children at all costs. If that means keeping them from their addicted dad then do that. Too many people NOT protecting their kids and end up regretting it.


It only takes one incident to be tragic. Would you allow your child to be with someone who could be on drugs and could potentially cause harm to your child? If you’re a good mother, the answer should be no.

No!! Kids are not a convience and if he’s on drugs absolutely NOT! Tell him no! Until he can prove by way of court drug tests via hair follicle!