I don't want my friends boyfriends kids at my daughters party and now she is mad: Advice?

My friend is with a guy who is HORRIBLE and uses her constantly; he has four kids. I stay out of it unless she asks my opinion on stuff, but even then, I tell her I don’t want to be a part of it. Anyway, his older two kids have a huge attitude and are mean to my oldest daughter, so we just don’t hang out anymore because he always has her watching his kids. Anyway, we were talking about my youngest daughter’s birthday party, and I told her that I hope she and her kids can come, but I don’t want her to bring her boyfriend’s, kids, because they are mean to my oldest but if she couldn’t make it I understand. She made it seem like I am a horrible friend because I am trying to protect my child from her boyfriend’s kids, and I’m a B for making her choose between her boyfriend and his kids or us and that I have no right to say she can’t bring them. I tried telling her I’m not making her choose, but I have every right to say that they can’t come because I don’t want my daughter to be mistreated and on top of that I am paying for everything, and it is at my house so obviously I have every right to decide who is and is not invited. Am I wrong for telling her they cant come? They don’t live together; he essentially uses her as free childcare. Should I have just told her none of them could come? I love HER kids like they were my own, but it just seems I’ve now lost a friend over all this, and I want to make sure I didn’t overstep somewhere. And yes, I have spoken to her previously about how his kids treated my daughter, and if anything, it got worse.

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You are absolutely right.
Protect your daughter

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No you aren’t wrong. Always stand up for your children and if she can’t understand that then she isn’t your friend anyways.

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She needs to grow up and you need a better friend. She’s selfish and self centered. Basically what you would be doing by allowing them so she feels good is picking her over your daughter and you didn’t. You did the right thing.

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If she can’t understand this then screw her. She chooses to play nanny to a shitty dude and his kids, then she can reap the consequences for not seeing how poor her choices are.

You are not in the wrong. I would do the exact same thing. I would be damned if someone is mean to my son in my presence. I get I can’t always protect him, parents sometimes do not correct the behavior. Does he correct the kids? If he doesn’t…you not wrong. Either way, she has to respect it, or don’t show up at all.

A TRUE friend wouldnt be upset over it

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Don’t feel guilty. You did the right thing. Your daughter comes first. Don’t allow your daughter to feel uncomfortable and mistreated in her own home. If your friend can’t accept your decision then tough luck, she doesn’t need to attend the party.

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I wouldn’t have kids who were mean to my kids over to a party either, so no you weren’t wrong. she’ll get over it or not, but it’s not your problem.

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Cut your losses. She will come back around once she drops her man child off at his BMs house.

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Sounds like your friend is a little confused as to how birthday parties work 🤦😂. When your kids are invited to a party it’s not an open invitation, it doesn’t mean you’re invited so invite whoever else you want. 🤦😂

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The hell with her…your kids come first…i wonder though. How do his kids treat her kids

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I have a friend like that too. I always just see if her kids can stay the night at my house when I have something going on that I want them at.

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Your not wrong at all.

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If your “friend” can’t understand that her bf’s kids are just downright mean to your child and you don’t want them there, that’s on her. She should understand that you are protecting your child.

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You’re setting healthy boundaries. Stick to your instincts.

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YOUR kids come first. And if she is a true friend she will eventually realize this…

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You need a new best friend… you decide who is and isn’t invited and if she doesn’t like it oh well it’s not her child’s party nor is it her child being mistreated so

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You are protecting your daughter from her bfs bully children is what it sounds like and if she is mad oh well. It’s your child’s party and that means what you say goes. I wouldnt dwell on it. It seems you may need a new friend.

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You are a 100% right. Your party, you decide.

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