Am I wrong for not wanting my SO to travel for work? Long story short, we have hit a rough patch, and he has been doing dishonest about nearly everything, hence the rough patch. We decided to give us one more chance to work things out. Anyways, he said he wanted to travel for work occasionally. He does construction, and sometimes they have work in other states. Well, I’m not comfortable with it for these reasons 1) anytime he goes out with friends, something stupid always happens. Last time, they got drunk, and they got into a fight. 2) he drinks in excess and makes dumb decisions. 3) we have three babies at home, one being a newborn. I feel that traveling would be okay if they were a little older, especially our newborn. He swears we NEED all this money. We are very well off and don’t really NEED it. I know that after he and his buddies got off work, they would go drink, and something ridiculous would probably happen. He’s just not mature when it comes to going out. I swear I’m not trying to be controlling but I can’t bail him out or anything from states away. Advice? Does your SO travel for weeks at a time willingly?
Maybe he needs to go, get in trouble and not be able to be bailed out. Mans gotta grow up sometime.
Let him go out, do stupid shit, don’t bail him out. He’s an adult. You controlling him isn’t going to go well.
So in other words, he expects you to stay home with your babies while he goes and drinks after work? For weeks at a time? Not okay with me.
Seems like you’re trying to find any excuse for him not to go.
You went out of you way to mention dishonesty first above everything else and it seems like you’re trying to justify it with other excuses.
My husband is a roofer and leaves state and i never really had trust in him until i started letting him go and then he would call with out being asked at lunch and the minute he got off he would video chat me and before bed it actually helped my husband and I. I honestly can say i fully trust him.
Yeah my ex husband was the same way. Catch that ex part… Some men just do whatever they want and dont care about how it hurts the ones who love them.
Girl. If hes dishonest, it will NEVER change. He sounds disrespectful AF and you should leave. Best of luck💚
I think the fact that he can’t be trusted to make his own decisions and isn’t mature enough to be on his own for a little bit shows a really big problem. You aren’t his mom, you can’t keep treating him like a child and keeping him out of trouble. He’s a husband (not sure if you are married but you get it) and father and should be responsible. If he isn’t now when will he be?
The father of my kids has traveled for work since our oldest was 3. When he first started he would go out and drink and get stupid drunk. Once it started effecting the job and getting him in trouble with his boss he stopped. Maybe he needs to have his job put on the line for him to realize he can’t do stuff like that anymore. Mine is gone for months at a time every job and he takes the Xbox to keep himself occupied after work. And the money can’t be beat.
so a second chance and hes willing to leave you for work?
well its not unheard of to be so cautious… but why try again if you dont trust him?
this post did mention kids but that’s not the reason you want him around.
be a momma and take care of you and those children. If he truly loved you stupid things would not be a priority on his list.
seems like someone hasnt matured out of his party days.
it takes guys Years to grow out of that
My sons dad use to do construction and would be gone for months sometimes up to a year. I even gave birth to our son by myself with my mom n her friend but without him there cause he was out working. Having a spouse traveling and working out of state or town for weeks at a time isnt for ppl who aren’t able to handle it.
My husband and I went through it all…we’ve been married for 14 years. He has gone out of state for work and I just trusted him. At some point you got to let his balls hang and let him do his job. I guess what I’m trying to say is how is your marriage going to work in the long run if your complaining about that. I wouldn’t want to feel tied down like that. I mean it’s hard to trust, I know. But I hated feeling insecure, never give another person that satisfaction. Girl, I’m a woman, i have learned to love myself. Maybe hes not ready to settle down just yet. Take a break. It’s not worth stressing over what your husband does…life is too short to be anything but happy.
Work shouldn’t play a role
Both my husband and I travel for work and it’s extra money and we make over 25k in just travel a year
My SO was a pipeliner when we met. We have couples friends that still live that life. It’s extremely hard and takes special kind of people to make it work.
My SO was dumb and partied with the guys, cause that’s just what they did. But he always called me before bed (and multiple times a day when he was driving/on break) so I felt like a priority. And we both made the drive to each other. He came home if he was only 4-5 hours away. I took a couple days off to see him on the further trips. His best friend and So still do this with 3 kids. My husband ended up coming off the road to start a family. He had been cheated on a lot in the past relationships and he didn’t want to take any more chances. (I was faithful, but he had in his mind that his job meant I would cheat at some point)
I think it takes a lot of trust and a lot more effort to have relationship where he’s working on the road. If you already are having issues, it’s only going to get worse
Maybe he needs to go, and get himself in trouble. Sometimes it’s the only thing that’s going to give him the walk up call he needs. Sometimes people just need to learn the hard way and sometimes there’s no talking reason.
You’re on different tracks in life. Let him travel for work and keep living your own life and don’t chase him
Not if ye are Financially stable ! If it was to provide for his family yes 100% but sounds like he has other agendas!! And leaving whats important behind for a free leg and no responsibilitys witch is concerning for me if he is unrealiable and dishonest you need to reavaluate whats best for you and yer kids we lead by example it can be hard but if he was to go he might be trying to improve himself and achive sompthing i find sometimes a lot of men are so reliant on partners and parents that they want to prove to themselfes their own independance its really hard on men sometimes and and thats how we sometimes dont fully understand them or hear their crys its a catch 22 try to communicate its the only thing that will make or break best of luck
Shit I wouldn’t want him to travel just due to the fact you have 3 babies at home. He needs to help.
My ex works in construction also, and even though he cheated on me, (couple times) I only knew of one at the time. I wanted us to keep working at it. I was forgiving He had to travel for work. I wasn’t gonna tell him he couldnt because he was our provider. He came home on a Thursday which I thought kinda sketchy as they would come home every Friday… He said he got into a fight with his co worker. He also shared a room with this guy at the hotel. So I thought ok, his boss told him to come home cool off and he’ll go back on Monday. Sunday evening, a woman messaged me. I didn’t see it til Monday morning. But she said her husband was the one that shared a room with my ex, and while this guy was in the shower, my ex took the guys phone and started going through it and found that guy’s wife’s naked pictures and used them to j*rk off to them!!! He denied it. But the wife showed me texts my ex sent to her husband and said he was sorry and it shouldn’t have happened. Mind you, he cheated on me in July. And that following October he went through his co workers phone I was done with him by then.