I don't want to push my son away but I am having issues with his girlfriend: Advice?

Hello. I have two boys, 13 and 7. Overall, they are great kids. We’ve hit the awesome, yet dreaded, teenage years. My oldest recently got a girlfriend, which I’m fine with. She just turned 13 herself. My son has a cell phone now and we set up rules, in regards to the cell phone, especially on school nights. The phone must be turned off at a certain time at night to avoid distractions, so he can get a good night’s sleep. Well, he’s been caught sneaking and texting her when the phone is supposed to be off. If he’s not calling her, she’s calling him all hours of the night. The first time, I turned it off myself. The second time, I took the phone away for the night. I told him next time; I’ll take it away for an entire day. His attitude completely changes when he is talking to her. He said she didn’t go to school for a while because she “didn’t feel like it,” and her parents just let her. Now, he doesn’t want to go to school and has been purposely running or being late when it’s school time, as well as asking me why can’t he just stay home. Almost anytime I say anything to him while he is on the phone, I get an answer but with a horrible attitude and or smart remarks. And now, she is talking about very inappropriate things with him… Telling him things about her private parts. Which I find to be uncalled for at their age. I know they are teens and are curious, but still. I’m grateful he is open with me and tells me these things, of course, but the whole situation is stressing me out. She tells him all the time, “if you love you, you’ll do this; if you love me, you won’t get off the phone or do this and that for me,” etc. Etc. He was in the bathroom one night with his shirt off, pouring water on his hair and stomach, on video chat because “she told me I had to do it if I love her.” I’m worried he’s going to be pressured into doing things. He also has chores to do, and he always fails to do them now. I’m just lost and don’t know what to do. His behavior is really bothering me. I try to give him personal space every day and more freedom, but as I said, the behavior just keeps getting worse. He’s even more hostile towards his brother for no reason. Yesterday, he asked me, “what do I gotta do if I get her pregnant?”. I don’t want to push him away, but he just seems like a completely different kid at times… in saying that, I feel like I need to give him more tough love or make the rules a little harsher until he acts better. I need some input. What would y’all do? Thanks in advance.


Calm down kids are kids. As the beetles said let them be


Contact her parents and let them know what their daughter is doing
Something similar happen to my son n I contacted her grandmother n told her what her granddaughter was doing I also took the phone from my son because he refused to stop talking to that girl
I would def have sit down with ur son n set some rules and if he don’t fallow than u got to be the parent n take that phone away


Nah don’t let that be. It may be ok in her house but if it is not ok in yours do not let that be.


Talk to her parents, take the phone, and walk his but to school and hold is hand if need be. He is a child and you’re his mama so you’re in charge.


Get to know the girls parents/custodians. Heart to heart conversation with son about his behaviors, and a little sit down with son and girlfriend.


This was long but I’m mite be a old school mom my son ain’t having no girlfriend at 13 and no girl 13 is getting close to my son for him to do inappropriate things to her kissing … nope to early to stress over that …


Contact her parents. Take the phone at night. Set your rules straight with both of them. Don’t bend either.


Take the phone away it’s a privilege stay on top of things read the text messages it will only get worse if you don’t take control now ,talk with her parents or just cut off all contact until he acts better


She manipulating him. This happened with a friend of mines kid. The girl wound up manipulating him until she got pregnant so she could trap him into a pregnancy pact she had with her friends. Sadly it starts really young. Talk with the parents first but if it doesn’t change it could happen. I’m hoping she’s a better girl then that, for you sons sake.


My son would be sitting in his room with nothing but a bed by this point. A cell phone, freedom, etc. Are privileges that are earned by being respectful and completing chores, school work, etc. He’s only 13 and needs to realize he is still a KID in his momma’s house and therefore has no option but to follow the rules and be respectful. Otherwise there are consequences, hence why I would have cleaned the whole room out and made him EARN back his privileges!


He’s 13 and it’ll probably be faded out within a month. Hang in there.

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I would explain to him why those things are wrong, including how she didn’t go to school just cause. Telling someone to do something if they love you is very manipulative and toxic, this could be a good time to talk to him about healthy relationships as well.


Don’t forget about the boy who killed him self because his gf told him to do it if he loved her. People are saying kids will be kids but when it comes to her telling him to do things to prove that he loves her then that’s where you should draw the line. There is nothing wrong with teenagers being in a relationship but something seems off with this girl


Do you know this girl? I worry about predators acting like a teenager to get pictures or meet ups.


My son would NOT have a phone if he wants to fail to do his chores and have an attitude with me. My mom did not allow attitude, back talk or anything of the sorts without taking my phone.


Talk to the parents.


13 too young for this unhealthy relationship. Also it is not acceptable at any age. You as the parent needs to put a stop to it NOW


Oh no no no ! Little girl needs to go away !


Set up parental controls. Make it where he can’t do stuff after a set time each night or make him give you the phone every night. Also tack to him about relationships and love. He may think he’s in love but this young it’s most likely not true love. And people who love each other don’t treat you like she’s treating him. That’s manipulative and controlling and definitely not healthy for him