I fee l like I was a last resort to my spouse: Advice?

I’ve been with my S.o. for over three years now. Things happened fast, and we have two kids together(3 more from a previous relationship) and five total. I don’t work due to the kids having special needs. Our arguments recently revealed that over a year and a half ago, when I caught him looking deep into another woman’s profile… he said he was planning on leaving me for her. She was an older childless friend with benefits. At the time, we were in a real rough patch. Upon learning this… I’ve suffered the loss of our first child. He showed up to services hungover. he used to go on drinking binges for days and days every week. Sometimes I took my vehicle without permission and brought it back when done binging… or I actually called the cops. He says he chooses me and wants me in his life. He stopped drinking and taking off. He stays home and helps me with the kids. my heart is crushed. The woman had passed on. So after he told me that… I really feel like I’m the last resort. An angry burst the other night. He told me it’d be his 4th time starting over if I make him leave me. Does this sound like love … real love, or just using that energy to not be Alone again? he has already told me he doesn’t believe in marriage. doesn’t give me any sort of affection in any shape or form or on social media. Birthdays and holidays, he said, only belong to the children. What do I do? IDK what to even feel right now but sadness. help me

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Seems like you know what you have to do. I hope life brings you much happiness and you become a priority.

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If things that are important to you and he doesnt do it because its not to him then hes not the one. Seems like you know you two arent a match but youre need so.eone else to say its not love. Move on, be happy. Life is better.

If he’s not fulfilling your needs then you should leave. Life’s too short to be miserable and unhappy. Sounds like he’s set in his ways. A MAN will only change when he wants to. Clearly he doesn’t.

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I’m sorry this is happening to you. But I would be out of that relationship yesterday!!

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Know your own self worth! If he’s taken off in your vehicke & you’re putting up with crap its your own fault! You shouldn’t have to ask stranger’s what needs to be done for your family!

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You & your kids happiness needs to come first life is to F’n short to not be happy & loved leave him ASAP then you can find a real man to love you the way you deserve

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Get out girl, know your worth you deserve so much more. Who cares if HE has to start over.

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Do what makes YOU happy, but never settle. You have self worth.

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You already know the answer. The is isn’t a good relationship. I would leave.

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I can feel your pain through this post. You sound like your soul is tired. If you feel YOU don’t deserve it, remember your kids want you happy. Your kids need you happy.

And you deserve to be happy.

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First, I am so sorry for the loss of your child. You have 4 children still at home? Neither of you are working? How are you making any income? He only stopped seeing this other woman because she died? He gives you no affection? It sounds as if he is just a room mate. Who gives a shit if it his 4th time stating over? Don’t let the door hit his ass on the way out. You are worthy of love and happiness. If you even have to ask a forum of women you already know the answer. No one should EVER feel like they are the last resort. Change is difficult, even when it is GOOD change. Kick is worthless ass out. Quit wasting your time waiting for what your wish he could be. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t even respect himself. Have some self respect and self love and know that you can make it without the added dead weight of this man. If another person comes in to your life GREAT. But in the interim…get this one the hell out of there.

I think you already know what you need to do…are you happy living like this? Who cares how he feels!!! He hasn’t given a shit about your feelings!!! I’d kick his ass out!!

He sounds like a peach🙄

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Girl, you deserve better. Life is too short. Go be HAPPY. Start with you. Best wishes :heart:

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Starting over is hard, but so worth it when you live in happiness. Life is to short to feel unloved snd under appreciated.

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Let him go, he’s keeping you around for his wants and needs and really doesn’t care about you or your feelings. And the drinking it’s not going to stop, maybe a week, but he’ll start again it’s time for you and your babies to find happiness and peace

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You decided if this is how you want to live the rest of your life with this dude… if it’s not, then you leave. :woman_shrugging:

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He doesn’t love you, do what you need to for yourself and your children, your children need to be happy just as much as they need their momma happy. I would leave I wouldn’t waste my energy on it anymore

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Only you can make a choice in this matter everyone can say leave but it’s really up to you but definitely need to know your worth :heart: if you want to keep being treated this way than you’ll stay if you want better for yourself and children you’ll run and don’t even look back the decision is up to you life is to short to live it unhappy and miserable

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