I feel bad for being stressed and yelling at my kids: Advice?

I have an eight year old boy and a one-year-old girl. I work only a few hours a week to get out of the house and have a little extra money. My husband works from 7 in the morning and sometimes doesn’t home until 930 at night. He’s a really good husband and dad and provides for us all and even helps with the kids. So I’m not complaining at all with help when he’s at home. Last night I had to give baths supper then it’s homework time. This is the worse part of my day. With my one-year-old screaming and crying wanting this or that, it is almost impossible to help my son with his homework. And with him when it comes to homework, it’s a battle. We have to practice his spelling words every night. And they are hard, in my opinion to hard for a 3rd grader. So I understand where his frustration is coming from. But IDK what to do? When he gets them wrong over and over, I make him write them. The first time he gets them wrong, I have him to write them 5x second time 10x and so on and so on. He throws a fit and acts like I’m punishing him, and I get so frustrated, I yell, and I feel like I could bang my head against the wall. I have my one-year-old throwing a fit my son throwing a fit. I’m just out of options. I try my best to be a good mom. And keep my cool and not yell at my kids. But sometimes I can’t help it. I feel so guilty. I laid my daughter down last night. I made them both go to bed early cause I needed some alone time. I went in there to tuck my son in, and he hugs me and says for me to lay by him and not be stressed. I said I just need to go to the living room and relax and be by myself. He starts crying. I started crying, telling him I’m sorry, and I try to be a good mom. And I’m sorry I yelled at him. He says I am a good mom, and he loves me. But I feel like I’m not sometimes. Help please, I need opinions and maybe some input on homework ideas. This is a lot of our problem at night.

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Why wait so late to do them?

I know that PlayDoh makes a mess, but maybe try putting some newspaper down and let her play with it during homework time. For spelling homework, maybe try some flash cards… google some options for fun ideas. Good luck!

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Try doing homework right after school, when the information is fresh. My middle daughter was like this for a while, frustrated, agitated with me for not understanding why… and a whiny, blubbering mess when I’d make her do it anyway. Maybe write his words in front of him, having him read each letter off from his list, and ask him to write them five times each under where you wrote them. If he sees you ‘working’ on them too, he might be more apt to help, rather than getting mad. Also, the announcing of each letter can help you decide if he’s having difficulties or just being stubborn.

Don’t be so hard on yourself Mom. We are human and we overload just like everyone else. Just walk away, take a few deep breaths and go back at it. Stop beating yourself up. NO ONE IS PERFECT PARENTS. None of us. Good luck!!

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Use those magnetsletters of alphabet put on fridge and have him respell the word on the magnets on the refrigerator

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Give him a star reward gets so many stars per week take to get an ice cream cone or a movie they free at family video or the library

Change the routine around to suit the kids. When one year old is happy and entertained and eight year old isnt tired.
I wouldnt increase the times he writes it either. That does seem like a punishment and will make him frustrated. Maybe try writing it two times and stick with that. I used to do spelling with my kids at afternoon tea time just after school so they were still fresh with food in their tummies and not tired.

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I actually dont believe in homework. Making him do his spelling 10 times if he gets it wrong is a bit too much. If he gets the word wrong get him to spell another word and then go back to the word he got wrong. Sounds like you are a great mum but when you are doing his homework maybe you should do it earlier as he is probably tired.

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Hubby needs to change it up so he is home to help.

Why are you waiting so long to do homework? Homework is started when they get home. My son has a slow processor so we (parents and school) have him write his words 3 times each everyday. Don’t want to push him that hard or he won’t get it and can create the problem that you have. Do your homework sooner and quit pushing him so hard. You’re stressing yourself out.

Homework should be done right after school, then supper and baths. Makes more sense. Maybe he will be better then 🤷

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Why don’t you start the hw earlier? Like say in the evening or noon. Take him out for some fresh air or reward him if he gets correct. The more you scream , the uglier the things would become. In the meantime, could hire an hour nanny for your girl. I think that it’s not the tough words but lack of patience that gearing up the frustration. Don’t put so hard on the older one. Find a solution : hire a nanny for the evening , get a teacher or call on your relatives… anything that suits you the best.

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I have 9 kids with my so on swing shift 2wks he is home by 430pm and 2 wks he isnt home till 1230am …making him write the words i can understand but ur spending more time making him do more work then he actually has. If he gets them wrong move on to another word and go back to the other. Give ur 1yr old a snack and turn cartoons on for her. (My youngest are 2 and 1) . bath time ur son is old enough he can do his own shower…start by showing him how to do the water, how much soap etc…then next time let him do it all while u supervise and then next time let him do it on his own. Its helps alot even if its a small task.

Wait til ur , youngest goes to bed and to home work

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Let your older son repeat a grade. All that stress on you both will only make him hate school and maybe never finish. One year can make a huge difference for a child’s educational future.

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I think the timing is wrong hunny… I used to do dinner than homework after dinner about 6 but by this point his friends were going on there favourite game… He was fed up of being at table because he has been eating there so I made it so homework was done as soon as we get through the door and it works so much better

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Home work after school we used to go lay on trampoline or in grass to practice spelling words make it an adventure

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Why not take those few minutes and lay with him. U can relax and believe me he will fall asleep quicker to give you the time you need. Pick your battles hon and life will get easier. Maybe with soelling you can find a way for him to relate to the words so they have meaning for him

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You sound like a caring mom, but making him repeat and repeat his hw more than ten times is kinda punishing, see what he’s having trouble with and help him get past it. Otherwise he’s just repeating the wrong answer over and over not knowing how to get the right one. Maybe spread the hw out some instead of doing it all at once. Your older one is trying to deal with the stress of a toddler and the frustration of his mother while trying to do his hw. I’d have trouble concentrating too.

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