I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my third baby I already have two boys now I have a baby girl on the way. I’m struggling so hard with depression and feeling entirely emotionally detached from this pregnancy, and the situation has anyone felt like this before? I do go to counseling, but it doesn’t seem to be helping too much… I just hate myself for feeling this way.
Yes I was in denial my whole pregnancy with my last child he’s now 7… it was hard to not just think of me but also my child… I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through…
I felt slightly like this with my second (I had a boy and my second was a girl) when she was born those feelings were still there and I barely touched her at the hospital, every time she cried I told my partner to pick her up. I loved her to bits I just can’t explain the way I felt. I talked to the health visitor who did an assessment and helped hugely and visited every week. She’s 2 now and love her to bits, she’s my little shadow
I never liked being pregnant. I too have 2 boys and then had a surprise girl. You don’t have to enjoy it. It’s the means to the end. Just be sure to talk with your doctor afterwards since it seems you may already being dealing with partum depression. I’m sure you will love your little girl.
have you tried supplementing with some Vit B and folic acid? Sometimes being low will lead to depression and using a good supplement can help increase your levels enough that you’ll feel more engaged. Ask you nutritionist about it!
You are not alone, I was the same way with my third… like mentioned above, seek help if this continues or worsens after she is born… after mine was born all those emotions or lack of changed and that little girl is my bestest friend!
It will get better. These feelings you are having don’t mean you don’t love your baby. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.
This is common those feelings will come further in the pregnancy usually
Keep talking with your dr and seeing what you can do. I had that with my last pregnancy with twins. I had partum depression and it’s hard. Try putting baby things up, small stuff like that. They eventually had to put me on low dose meds for mine. Not saying that’s for everyone or that you need it. I hope you start feeling better and find a way that works so your not so hard on yourself
I didn’t feel attachment the entire pregnancy AND even the first couple weeks after. And that’s with my first baby! I was even trying for 2.5 years!!! Every woman is different. As a culture, we’ve created this fairytale way of how a mom should just be over excited and joyous and instantly connected with their babies the SECOND they come out of us. Really all that cultural expectation does is cause worry and depression for the mothers who don’t experience that. My son is now 4 months old and I can’t get enough of him… I grew into that bond and overwhelming love. I didn’t ignore him, I didn’t have post partum depression, I even sang to him while he was in my belly but I felt no connection or overwhelming joy despite literally praying for him for years. I couldn’t imagine life without my child and never could! I just am not one of those women who are described by our societies “norm”
What you’re feeling is NORMAL, as long as your levels are fine and you’re not feeling sad or like you wanna harm you or the baby then it’s OKAY.
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my son. It turned around a lot when they laid him on my chest. If it’s really bad you can always try antidepressants (I did until it seemed like they were making things bad in a different way). It did make my breastfeeding harder, but it picked up eventually. Either way definitely talk to your doctor about it and ask about counseling. Good luck, mama.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I know the feeling. Be kind to yourself. Stay in counseling bet when you see, smell and hold her the connection will be immediate! She will be your best friend.
I felt just the same with my first pregnancy and I love that little girl fiercely and have since the moment she was born. Just go through the motions of what you need to do: go to all doctor’s appointments, get baby’s room, clothes etc. prepared. I chose to see a therapist during and after my pregnancy and he assured me it’s not as unusual as you may think. Make sure you are eating well and taking care of yourself too. It will pass.
It’s very sad to now know that you are not feeling well it will get better soon pregnancy is not easy an when you sick it is worst talk to Dr and your family do something fun is your husband sopirtive that help I understand that feeling very well u didnot have the support ant how you will deliver soon the baby will make you feel good trust me ,
Please go and like Who Hurt You? I hope you’ll be able to get helpful input there.
I know how you feel after nearly dying with my little boy I now have a little girl on the way I’m also finding it hard as I’m high risk again feel selfish sometimes like some people would still probably kill to have a baby it’s a lonely feeling hope your ok
Cut yourself some grace. Talk to your dr find the right provider for depression . Your regular dr may not be specialized in this area. You want someone who is. Luck
Relax, be excited that it’s a girl, totally different in raising. I think what you might be feeling isn’t detachment but more on the side of overwhelming. This is your 3rd child, excitement is low but it is your firt girl. A mini you…get excited for that! Again it’s all hormone related so don’t feel bad, I think as it draws closer you will start feeling different.
It sounds like you’re putting alot of pressure on yourself. There are all sorts of reasons that we feel the way we do when pregnant. For example, my 3rd pregnancy we were having financial trouble. I had a really tough feeling anything but panic for the longest time.
Be kind to yourself. Eat right, take walks, be open with doctors, family and your counselor about how you’re doing. Eliminate the stress of trying to pretend everything is ok. Just focus on having a healthy pregnancy. Yes this experience will be different than your first 2, but it doesn’t mean that over time you won’t find something unique and special about having baby #3. Good luck and please ask for help when you need it!
I feel like your possibly being too hard on yourself. Your pregnancy may feel different but I have a feeling once she is in your arms or even moving around more in that belly that you will adjust.
Maybe a pamper day for you both would be relaxing. Congratulations too. I do agree with the other person that said to express this to your doc after giving birth if your struggling on it. Pretty little princess you will have.