I feel guilty about having another child: Advice?

I feel really guilty about having another baby. I have a 20-month-old daughter, and I’m due in a month with my son. I’m excited and happy about having another child, but there are times where I get really upset and feel guilty about having another one so soon. My daughter is my best friend, and she’s very clingy to me, and I don’t want her to feel replaced or like I don’t love her as much anymore. My son was unplanned, and I wish I had more time with it, just my daughter getting my attention. Is it normal to feel guilty?

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I did this as well be sure to keep talking to your doctor

They’ll be best friends. I know it makes you feel bad now but as they grow older and they become closer you’ll never regret it again

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Normal. In a year 2 will feel as natural as one. Kids are smart, she can tell there is change coming.

It will be ok, I felt the same way. My daughter had just turned 2 when I had my son.

We had our first two 14 months apart and it was hard at first but its so great now. They play really well together

I think every mom feels like this. I know I felt this way. Mine are 22 months apart. I didn’t know how I could love another child as much as my first. But life is funny and I couldn’t imagine life without my second! :heart:

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It is very normal to feel that way! My youngest is four and I’m due in August, and I get sad sometimes when I think about him not being the baby anymore. Having them closer is probably harder on you emotionally, but as soon as baby is born you will feel better. They will be so close and always have someone to play with! Try to think about all the positives!

I once asked my oldest daughter what the best present she ever received is (she was 10-11 years old maybe when I asked), I had obviously meant a toy or something but she looked at me and at her sister who is 23 months younger and said “Caroline is the best gift you’ve given me. She’s my built in best friend.” For me every time it was hard to imagine life when each of children arrived even while heavily pregnant, but with all of them it’s been amazing. I hope that helps you. By the time my middle was 2-3 I was replaced as the center of both of my daughters’ worlds and they became each others. One is almost 12 and the other is almost 10 and they are still best friends and I found it very easy to give my love to both of them and my son who came along later.

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I have Irish twins. They’re 10.5 months apart. Best (mistake) decision we ever made.

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It will be tough at first but so worth it😊
My first two are 16 months apart and they fight sometimes but are so close❤️

I felt like this when I had my son. I didn’t get enough time with daughter. She wasn’t even a year old when we found out baby number 2 was coming. But now they are really close. My daughter will go stay with grandma and my son asks where she is. So cute. It works out.

I felt the exact same way. My daughter is 23 months and her brother will be here any day. I look at it now as she’ll have someone to enjoy playtime with her and that they can always have a playmate that never has to leave.:woman_shrugging:t5::100:

It may cause u a lot of worry in the beginning…and some guilt. But they will probably become very close in the future! So relax and enjoy both of them while they are so small!

Literally felt the same way. The whole pregnancy. The only way I can explain it is, when you hold that new baby, you don’t make room in your heart for them. Your heart grows double in size to fill you with more love than you can imagine right now.

When the baby comes, remember they don’t neeeeed as much attention as you’d think. Give all your attention to the oldest while the baby sleeps. You’ll have plenty of time with them.

Perfectly normal, my daughter was already 11 years old when I had my son 4 weeks ago and after her having been alone and the center of my world for so long I felt completely guilty. But I’ve made an effort to set aside time just for her and to reassure her I’m still here. She’s older so obviously I can kind of explain things to her but in the end just make sure you set aside time for just the two of you even if it’s a simple bedtime story and it’ll help your guilt greatly.

Its confusing for everyone but if you make sure your eldest is included in every little thing, from helping change a nappy and tucking blanket around baby etc, all will be okay. Also, do girly time, just you 2. As long as eldest feels included and praised for her help, things should go quite smoothly.

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Just make sure you give her some one on one time to make sure she knows she’s just as important. My son will be 18 months when I have my next. I plan to do some one on one time with him so he doesn’t feel left out. Same with dad. Then also family time so he can learn to be with his brother and that we are all family. I do get nervous also because I don’t want him to feel left out or like I don’t care for him as much it scares me but I plan to do what I can to know he’s just as loved as always.

Make a big fuss that shes the big sister …let her help you. By getting nappies and wipes and always take time for just the two of you…sometimes you feel you cant love a second baby as much as the f I rst but you can it just happens…enjoy your children they grow so fast…

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I did with mine. I searched for answers just like you. Most women said it’s normal and they will have an unbreakable bond. They are 3 and almost 2. It was all true. It is normal and they will love each so strongly. Mine fight, don’t get me wrong but they love harder. Don’t stress over it. I found that advice hard too. But take it.

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