I feel like I am not close enough to my child: Advice?

Mommies, what did you do to feel closer to your babies? My baby is eight months old. I love my child and feel connected to them, but not in the way I thought I would. I thought time would pass, and I’d feel different, but I don’t. I play and interact with my child, but I’m wondering what helped you all bond better? I struggle with ppd and soon have a Dr’s appointment for that. I know my depression is part of it. I try really hard and have tons of mom guilt about it. It’s just not what I thought it’d be. I had a traumatic birth in which I almost died, so it took me a little bit to feel that rush of emotions afterward because I was recovering. Any advice helps, be gentle, please!


It is 10000% the PPD, and is super common. Please know you’re a great mommy, your baby thinks you’re the most amazing human ever, and you’re doing a great job! This will pass but please seek meds and more importantly therapy :blue_heart: I went through it and it was hard but you can do it!


Listen, it happens. My second baby took me some time to develop a connection due to a rough birth and other stressful situations surrounding her birth. You are not any less of a mother. Yes you have to care for baby but care for yourself as well.

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Seek therapy cause you seem to have ptsd also due to the traumatic birth where you almost died. And because of you recovering you weren’t able to bond with your baby in the most crucial moments which is right after birth. Therapy & the correct meds will help

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Very common and definitely PPD. I had it and I struggled a lot only because I dove myself into my work right after. But I did go to therapy and I did take meds and decided on my own to go for walks with my child or go to the store with him. I took him everywhere I mean everywhere! That helped out a lot because I got to know every little thing he does and like and dislikes. I wish you the best! Hang in there it will pass! :heart:

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Definitely sounds like ppd and ptsd which is super common, once my doctor put me on an antidepressant I started to bond with my son but before I felt just like you. I loved him and played and nursed and did all of the mom things but never “bonded” once I got rhe help I needed I finally got that bond. It takes time so be patient but it does get better.

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You pray to God to take that depression away and love your child


Don’t feel guilty because it’s not your fault. PPD is extremely difficult to deal with

All I can say is your child thinks your the best person in the world. If meds are needed take them because a child and mother bond can be so precious. Not like any other bond you could have in your whole life. Do what it takes to make it right mama. You can do it!

Bath times, snuggles, 1:1 attention on the floor with toys and believe it or not…the messy things like baby safe paint, sensory items, etc. I just loved to watch my little one explore the world and all the things around them. Also walks around the neighborhood helped more than I imagined it would. Hang in there mama, you are doing great

Sounds like PPD. Once you can address you, the rest will come. You are doing the best you can and there is no right way to bond. It will come. One piece of advice that I still use is to be kind to yourself. I had a traumatic birth as well and was separated from my daughter on day 2 of her life and had to go 4 days without seeing her again. It all felt like a dream. My daughter is 8 months as well. Talk to your partner.

You have depression and that is not your fault you can’t give that much emotionally due to that. It’s awful. Get treatment for the depression it’s number one besides keeping the baby safe and healthy. You don’t have the physical or emotional strength to do more right now.

PPD, PTSD and PP anxiety are a huge issue that can interfere with boding. I used a ton of skin to skin and breastfeeding. But talk to your doctor, sometimes you need to be on medication for awhile to balance things out. Hormones are evil, its not you…

I can promise ppd is playing the factor. Get into therapy and some treatment, do things for yourself too. I’m giving you the advice I should’ve taken with both of mine… feel free to message me because I feel this on a personal level.


Would loved to have known. Got taken away, never was able to have a child of my own. God be with you, prayers to you. Stay strong. God bless

Depression is medical condition that can be treated with medication and counseling. Just relax hold your baby hold cuddle when sleeping don’t think about house work and thinks that need to be done just set and enjoy that lovely sweet baby if you ever feel out control call someone fast try and find joy in the little thinks

You recognize the PPD, but I suspect you are also suffering from PTSD. I had a traumatic birth with my son…fell into a depression, but it was much worse as I wasn’t sleeping and anxious all the time. I was diagnosed with PTSD. Get into a dr ASAP and they will get the help you need!


Try skin to skin time. I’ve read it helps with PPD and it’s good for both Mom and baby. I take a bath with my 5 month old every other day. At the end of playing in the bath, and washing up, he loves to lay on my chest. He’ll snuggle up to my neck and just relax. I hold him while gently pouring handfuls of water on his back (so he dosen’t get cold). I love these times so much. :hugs: to you mama, you got this!


Don’t compare yourself to other mothers. It will make you feel worse. Go off how your kids feel. For me, because I was there when they needed, fed, clothe, bathe, and was their main caretaker. They felt love so it worked for me.

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The most important thing you can do right now is to get treatment for your depression. A new baby in the family is always stressful, not to mention the traumatic birth. Maybe keep a daily journal noting when you felt closest to your baby, a moment when you realize your baby has reached a milestone, etc. The expectations we place upon ourselves sometimes aren’t realistic. Getting help for your feelings is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby.