I feel like I do not have time to be intimiate: Thoughts?

He loves my two boys and me. But. He was crazy sexually active before we got together. I’m I guess you say mediocre when it comes to that stuff due to my past and self-confidence. I know I can do more, but I am so tired working a 40hr job and side jobs on the weekends and two boys plus keeping up with the house… how do you guys find time for this. To be a bomb in the bedroom. I recently tried anal because he was so about it… it hasn’t happened a lot and j feel like I’m just not good enough for him. Mind you, we have sex maybe twice a week if not less… but he seems to think that everything takes presidents over our relationship… which to me isn’t true I’m just keeping life moving. Like upping our credit buying a housekeeping a job starting a business… but I feel like I’m not good enough…

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I get where your coming from. I have 1 boy with a full time job and trying to keep my home clean. But I realized that there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little “me time”. And if the sex is good… You won’t second question yourself. The guy im with is all about sex too and at first i wasn’t. I was actually getting offended by it but the more im with him, the more i desire him and im okay with it. If you are not enjoying sex then you need to find what you like. Start discovering your own body. Communicate with him. Sex is not about just the man getting off. You are allowed to enjoy it too. Give yourself a break.

Unfortunately this is not uncommon…
Right now your exhausted, young and not confident…at 40 you will want to be yippie Skippy and he will want to sit on couch…
Find time girl…he knows what you look like and loves you…
Maybe morning…set alarm for extra couple time…your kids will grow…you will have more time…

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I don’t try to be the bomb in the bedroom every time, just every once in a while. Quickies the rest of the time. If your man knows what you like and you know what he likes, you can both get what you need in a few minutes. Surely you can find 10 minutes (if that) in your day.

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Tell him he can make it or manageable.or have fun.playing alone.

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Everything else comes before your relationship…so…your relationship is just sex? I feel like the working, taking care of home and children all has to do with your relationship. If you’re too exhausted for sex because of everything else you have going on then feel free to ask him for some assistance. If he isnt willing to help you so you can relax and have time to enjoy intimacy too then there isnt a point to having it. And if that’s all the relationship is then I would consider finding something “more”. Remember you have needs and desires too, also if you do not want to or feel comfortable doing something in the bedroom please dont force yourself just to feel like you’re enough or to please him. You deserve comfort and to enjoy it too.

You don’t need to do new things to try and make time… if you don’t feel comfortable, then don’t… he seems to love you definitely let him know how you feel… my husband and I barely have time as well… we’ll do love touches and stuff… but if I feel tired and he wants to and I don’t I’ll let him know and he understands… finding time is difficult but don’t give up

Let him watch porn to get off. Maybe you can help him. Give him BJ’s. Hopefully he will be happy with that. Also make sure hes active and him not being lazy throughout the day. That way sex isnt a priority. But I’ll tell ya. Sex is very important to a lot of people.

Take a personal or PTO once a month for just you and him. Go to the adult store and/watch
some porn together. Spice things up sometimes and have him hot with anticipation.

Totally agree with @jeana schanzer.

My ex was non stop sex addict mind u I have 3 kids went to school at home
So my attention wasnt always completely on him n unfortunately that lead to him cheating. But I’d say maybe talk with him.
Communication is key

I hope all goes well :heartpulse:

If he thinks youre not good enough cut him loose

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Does he even work? Why are you working 40 hours and side jobs on the weekends and taking Care of the house and kids??? What’s he doing that he still has so much energy left every day?

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Why must the woman always accommodate the man??? Why isn’t he contributing more to the household? WHY are YOU expected to do do do do do for him & house, when he isn’t doing hardly anything? Because if he was, you wouldn’t be doing doing doing it all. If he wants more sex, then he needs to help with the cooking & cleaning & childcare

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You have to cut things back just so that you can have time for sex with him. Better yet, get him to do some chores to free you to have time and energy for sex. Say, “oh honey, can you help me vacuum so that we can have time for sex?”

There more you have sex the more you’ll want it making you make time :wink: same as if you don’t have sex often you won’t want it as much. No need to be extreme just get your orgasm on it’ll be good for you and can make you feel more confident in the bedroom.

He sounds like a jerk and selfish player

Does he contribute? Does he work, help clean the house, help take care of the kids? If the answer is no then he can go f*** himself. If he does do these things either stop complaining and make time or stop wasting his.

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He sounds selfish is he helping you at all??

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How can you not have time for sex?. Sex is great. If you feel you are not good then ask your man what he wants you to do. Practice makes perfect, dont do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

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Slow Down Girl ::: set your importance ::; what comes first :: what matters most ::: your engine needs a tune up ::: Vitamins ::: U matter most :::U R the Start ::: U and the life U choose ::: your hubby ::your sons ::: your home / house ::: lastly your job ::: if U all can make it on a single income I mean ::: Good Luck to ya all .