I feel like me step-mom will be toxic to my child: Thoughts?

Im a first-time mama. I’m having the second grandchild in the family. And my parents and step-parents are excited about bubba. But this is where it gets messy. I had had a rocky relationship with my stepmother since she became apart of our lives when I was little (she used to abuse the hell out of me and is the reason I have a mental illness). She’s married to my dad but has been separated for years now. And she wishes for my child to call her grammy. I would never take my child away from her (she is the mother to uncles and aunties) unless reasonable circumstances, but I don’t wish for her to be called grammy or have any other grandmother’s name. But I know it will cause a fight, and she will go and whinge to my dad (if we even talk back, its straight to my dad or instant threats of violence even though I’m an adult). I just feel she would be too toxic to my baby’s health growing up. She was to me. And she will forget my baby once her own children are old enough to have babies, that’s an unavoidable truth. I just don’t feel I should let my baby have that in his or her life. What should I do, mamas? I’m scared and don’t know what to do. I have been advised not to mention anything until the baby is talking, but I want to nip it in the bud before that.

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Your baby your choice from what you’ve said I wouldn’t have her anywhere near my kid screw what anybody else thinks you put yourself and you baby first

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I wouldn’t let her around your child. If she was abusive to you and clearly still a toxic person, you nor baby need that in your life.

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I’d telling her how it is! Your baby your choice!

Helllll no.

That is YOUR baby. It is YOUR decision. Don’t let that lady scare you. Protect your kid.

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Why are you keeping her in your life? She’s caused you mental turmoil AND isn’t even with your father anymore…

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Keep toxic people like that out of your life and your babys she has no say in what you do. Let her go to your dad so what. Your a grown woman and should know how to tell someone no. Just because of siblings does not she has to stay in your life, cut her out!

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tell her no has your dad. remarried again. or just tell her. grandma. and grand pa will be your true blood. pa rents. end of story.

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Keep the baby away from her from the start! You don’t want someone to abuse or treat your kid differently. Also when her kids are old enough to have baby’s she would kicks yours to the curb, why give her a chance??? Only introduced positive people. People that won’t just walk out of your littles life! It’s hard but we all want the best for our littles! I wouldn’t let her around my kids and if it was a half to then I would supervise every second she is around!

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Your child your rules. And I would never let her be around my kids. Toxic id toxic family it nit. You don’t owe her anything. Keep your sanity and tell her straight to her face what you did to me you will never have a chance to do it to MY child. If Dad or anyone has anything to say cut them off also. Never let anyone tell you how to feel it what to do with your child.

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Just tell her no. Keep telling your child a different name to call her.

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I stopped reading at she abused you. If she abused you why would you let your child around her?

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She wouldnt be around my child at all if shes makes any type of threat. Tf. She abused you what would stop her from doing it to your kid? I wouldnt even be talking to her.

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You are the voice for your baby. If you feel she is going to negatively impact your child’s life, you keep her away no matter what anybody else says or thinks. Simple as that.

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It’s your call stop it before it starts

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It’s your child. You are the mother. You know what’s best for that baby. Trust your heart and don’t let anyone tell you different. And as far as I’m concerned she has no say what so ever. And if you’re dad can’t except then that’s his problem. Take care of that baby momma hopefully your family will agree

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This is silly honestly. Your kid will end up calling her whatever they call her. My kids chose Mimi and Papa for both sets of grandparents. As for being toxic. Toxic is toxic. Doesn’t matter who it is. If she doesn’t need to be around your baby then don’t have her around your baby. Simple. Your kid your choice.

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Keep her away, if no one likes it, tough, your obligation is to your child first and foremost.

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She was toxic to u!! Why would u want her around ?

what is wrong with you if she caused you to have mental Illness my child would NEVER EVEN KNOW SHE EXSISTS…wake the hell up

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