I feel like my best friend spends too much time away from her son: Thoughts?

i was wondering if you could please post anonymously. im looking for some advice. my best friend ( since we were infants weve been inseparable) has a 9-month-old son. She’s a single mom who lives with her parents. She is 29, has a decent job, but she went through a breakup and moved in with them when she was pregnant. Anyway, ever since her son was maybe two months old, she’s been acting like a single, childless woman. don’t get me wrong, she mover her son, and you can tell she does, but she spends every weekend out with her friends or " dates." Sometimes some evenings after work too. And she leaves her son with her parents. I have three kids myself, I understand parents need breaks, but it’s to the point where its several times a week, on top of being gone all day at work. I feel terrible. I feel awful for her son, whose father isn’t involved and who doesn’t get to see his mama as much as he should. And I also feel bad for my friend. I feel like she’s missing so much of her son’s life, and later in life, she will regret it. Her parents are enabling her by agreeing to babysit as much as they do. I try to sneak little comments in about how she should stay home more without being blunt as her best friend im torn on what to do. I feel as though it’s not my place to say anything to her, but on the other hand, I feel as though maybe I should. anybody have any advice?

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Not your kid. Not your business.

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Honestly at some point I have learned that it’s better to be blunt. Less drama n Bull.

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Not your child not your business.
Child is lucky to have such a loving household :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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None of your business. Stop being so judgemental

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I think every mom deserves to have some time for themselves. Every parent needs some space and some “fun time”. But what you are describing seems a little bit more than i would ever feel comfortable doing. I think you could talk to her about it. Friends should keep each other accountable. Make sure she understands you are coming from a place of love for both her and her son. Make sure she understands that you just want the best for both of them! Friends should always have that type of relationship where they can call each other out when its necessary. Yes its great she finds time for herself and every parent deserves that! But there is a line.

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My opinion is its not your business. If that’s how she chooses to parent that’s her choice. The baby is with loving grandparents and isn’t in harms way by any sort so leave it be. You also don’t know what she’s dealing with behind closed doors in her personal life.

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I think your heart is in the right place but i don’t think it will be well received and could end your friendship… I would make sure she is ok… she could be suffering.

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I guess I’m that friend that’s going to call my best friend out when she’s out of line. She has the same moral compass I do though and will call me out if it’s the other way around. I wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s how I know I can trust her to be honest and genuine with me no matter what. We both know it’s out of love and done with respect. We are on each other’s teams and want to push each other to be the best that we can be. We will love and support each other through it all, and that includes bad decisions and mixed up priorities.

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Same as everyone else. It’s none of your business. If it bothers you so much, then don’t be her friend anymore.

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Not your child, not your buisness. Unless the child is being abused stay out of it.

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Maybe instead of talking to her about how much time she spends away from her child, you can talk to her as a friend?? See what’s going on maybe she has PPD or something else is going on. As her friend I’d try to talk to her about her and not her child or how she parents…

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You’re all being so negative, as far as parenting everyone choose their route. As her friend you should give advice but the way you word it is gonna make or break your relationship.

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Wow I can’t even leave my child for a couple hours once a week without feeling horrible… I dont understand how any mother could be like this… but yeah I guess it’s just how she chooses to be and you can’t do much about it. I have a friend who isn’t a great mother either and I feel horrible for her kids and try to be there for them as much as I can but I can’t force her to be a good mom. :woman_shrugging:

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I agree with what everyone else is saying. None of your business but if that’s how she wants it to be, let it happen. I had a best friend who was the same way. Her baby was always with the grandparents for a couple years and now that her partying/nights out days are over with she’s having a hard time having her daughter call her mom instead of calling the grandma mom :woman_shrugging:

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Maybe she’s not ready to be a mother … Still

Maybe you could suggest things to do togather with her and her son so she and her son have you guys to set a good example for her

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Your heart is in right place. Everyone parents differently. I have a friend who cusses in front of her kids all the time and that’s her choice. It’s not my business. If she was neglecting then in any way I would say something. She knows not to cuss in front of my kids bc I don’t think it’s ok. Just like I don’t think it’s ok to spank or feed kids sugar and fast food on a regular basis. Everyone doesn’t agree with each other but have to respect their parenting or not be around them. I agree with you that she should be home more if she really is going out as often as you say but it’s not ur son. You said you have already said something now it’s time to let it go. You parent how you want to as she will. Her mom will say something if necessary if not then sounds like the boy is being taken care of.

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We should be grateful he has grandparents to take care of him

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Maybe you need to talk to her about post partum depression, honestly I think she is doing what many depressed people do, what ever it takes to feel good. She may need some mental health help and not realize it. Also was she that “wild” before having the baby?

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