I feel like my boyfriends ex is ruining us: Advice?

Our relationship is perfect we’ve been together for over 5 years. I couldn’t be happier, we honestly have a fairytale romance. I have fully embraced his two children and love them like they are my own. Their mother is the only kicker. I definitely have respect for her, because I love her children. BUT she is immature, selfish, and hotheaded. She is never dependable often ghosts us when she is supposed to get the children back. Doesn’t show up for her children’s award ceremonies, teacher conferences, or doctor’s appointments. Constantly has them late missing school or just dirty and unprepared. She calls my boyfriend everyday and often verbally abuses him and says he is a piece of s**** parent. We have the children half of the month. We feed them healthy, we buy them nice clothes, get them to school on time, show up for any meetings. She constantly critiques him but honestly she is the one who is failing as a parent. I feel we are the only stability they have unfortunately. She moves random boyfriends in it seems like once a month. To put it simply she is just an unstable mess. I have been patient, silent, and supportive. But I continue seeing her crappiness hurting her kids. She is toxic and I feel she is ruining the kids and our relationship because of that. How long do you stay silent just to keep peace? I feel like she is ruining my own personal happiness. How can this stepmom get her groove back and set some boundaries? (Sidenote: I’ve been keeping documentation of everything just in case things get worse we save copies of EVERYTHING.)


Dad is going to have to open his mouth and tell that “mother” to put her children first. And she needs to stop bringing strange men around. There are too many kids being killed for her to move a new one in every month. Ugh.


I’d go back to court.

It sounds to me like those kids would be better off with you two full time anyway.

Look into fathers rights lawyers, etc etc.

Those kids deserve better. They can’t stick up for themselves so someone else needs to.


Get married to him then take her to court … and take the children away…those children need a staple home…and if she doesn’t want to step up oh well… there is too many children that live like this …and the children are basically unhappy …


Just keep doing what you are doing and those kids will someday know who was there for them. Don’t let their mother’s awful behavior ruin anything for you. It takes a strong woman to step in where another stepped out.


Your doing the right thing, the kids probably need less time with her but the courts have the final say and be willing to pony up the cash for and independent lawyer for the to prove she is toxic. Video and audio if allowed in your state is king.

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Just continue to love those babies and give them what you can, keep documenting everything and please don’t allow her idiotic behaviour ruin your happiness. Take it on the chin and breathe. There father is the only one who can legally do anything about it and he needs to speak up.


COURT. Take them bebes.

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Your husband need to petition the courts and get the custody agreement re-evaluated


Going thru the same. I wanna knock this dopeheads fucked up teeth out. She found out i was pregnant. And now is interfering with me and him by making him do it all cuz he knows he bends over backwards for his kids. So she even called him like 30 min ago. To just be like “no i didnt call you… Why u calling me bavk talking bout YES!!!”

I’d have him file for sole custody. That isn’t a healthy environment for those kids.


You mind your business. He minds his. Kids see true colors.


Legal aid works lawyers

Let him handle her. Keep documenting everything. Stay strong for the children.

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You said she keeps moving boyfriend in and out … make sure you and your boyfriend talk to the kids about sexual abuse !


Yes one you stay out of it the father needs to open his mouth and set the mother straight I’m sorry I know you the girlfriend but let the dad deal.with this

I like how you think she lives with random boyfriends will uphold at all in court because it actually shows she always has shelter for her kids which is counter to your statement that is us unstable and a mess. Nothing illegal about it moving with other people… The judge will laugh at you and the verbal abuse dont uphold in court to remove her rights but I love that there ignorant uneducated cruel women like you that think she should loose her kids because of other men. If none of those men have abused her kids then you will just sound like the jealous girlfriend of baby daddy.

You will waste your money that you so very much bragged about in your post and ironically she will keep her kids.

You sound like you should work for ICE seperating a mother from her children all beause you believe your better than her. Nothing you have said makes her a bad mom or is illegal to result in her kids loosing the maternal mother and her rights.


Unfortunately you cant do anything. Its him that has to say something. He has to step up and be a man and say something to her or even threaten her with court. Unfortunately Girlfriends can say something or give ideas to their boyfriends but thats it


Keep going to court until the kids are in his care. My girls are 17 and 13. I have never regretted a penny spent or the amount of stress we went through because it was literally the best thing for both of them! When we finally won custody they were both D and F graded students. Now they A and B students. Oldest is applying to college! Their mom was this way and it was because of drugs. She hid it very well and we really couldn’t believe she was on them. When we had her drug tested in court (we literally thought maybe a pain pill addiction) nope meth! Keep giving them every opportunity they deserve and living with Dad would really set them up for success.

File for sole custody period