I feel like my daughter is being too spoiled when she isn't in my care: Advice?

I’m a first-time mom; I only have one child. A daughter, she’s 3, will be 4 in May. Short back story; My parents and the daycare spoil her to the max. I have asked them to stop doing certain things because it affects me as a parent. But now I feel she’s too sensitive; I feel because she’s been spoiled for so long that when it comes to the word no or doing something simple like picking up toys, she has a complete meltdown. ( I don’t wanna hear because she’s three that’s what gonna happen) I will ask her calmly to pick up her toys; shell walks around for a bit till I ask again, and then she’ll start crying, saying no and trying to get me to hug her 15 million times before picking up her toys. It’s usually only a few toys, and she knows she needs to pick them up if she’s not gonna play with them. Just this morning, she cried the whole time while doing her hair. She does this every morning too. I think she would be used to getting her hair done by now. She’ll ask for something, and I’ll calmly tell her she needs to wait until we get home and she’ll cry until she gets what she wants. She is also behind on her speech, which we are doing speech therapy for. But it’s still a work in progress so trying to understand what she wants is difficult but now I think she’s just playing me cause she’s so used to be spoiled and I’m over the crying for no reason, and I just wanna know if anyone had to deal with this? I’m taking her to doctors to see if we need some type of behavioral therapy or if I can somehow break this habit at home.

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Watch supernanny. I have 4 kids of my own. Their craaaaaycraaaaay. Her methods work lol. Consistensy pays off and dont give in and dont give up. You got this momma. :heart::heart::heart: You have a voice let them hear it.

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She’s three. That’s what’s gonna happen.

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Let her cry. Don’t give in to what she wants if she isn’t behaving. I make my son go to his room if he wants to cry and carry on. And as far a toys I usually help him pick up stuff and make it a game. Like who can do it quicker

Daycare spoils her? That’s weird

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I know u don’t want to hear it but it is actually just her age its completely normal my 2(3 next week) does this on a daily basis

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Dont be surprised if the doctors tell you what you don’t want to hear. Honestly… …child development…SHE IS THREE…whether you want to hear that or not.

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Consistency and discipline! You have to set boundaries and honestly I would make a discipline chart for babysitter or grandparents to follow too. If they can’t follow the rules tell them you will have to cut time with them because your daughter is more important. Part of this is because she is 3 though!

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Children go through phases even without others spoiling them. My almost 3 year old has never been spoiled by my husband or I but has recently become overly sensitive at times as well. Its a phase. Itll pass. I know you said you dont want to hear it but she is 3. She is constantly going to go through changes with or without help.

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That’s not being spoiled. Thats just a normal toddler.

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My 3 year old is pretty much exactly what your saying yours is. I patiently wait for her to stop her tantrum and try to make it look fun to pick up. And she hates me to do her hair still! Sounds like she’s on the right child development to me. I have 5 kiddos ages 14, 13, 11, 5, and 3. Just stay consistent, eventually she will be that we’ll behaved preschooler you’re looking for.

My granddaughter is the same way but she’s 5 and I am here to spoil her

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You have to make all behavior you don’t want to see counterproductive. Whining, crying and saying no should not lead to her getting what she wants, or she will do more of it. It’s tough but be firm.

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This is my opinion on this. Daycare and grandparents aren’t the ones to discipline children. It’s up to the parent to discipline etc. I would want my parents and any daycare I take my son to to spoil them to an extent. I don’t want them telling him no to things I let him do etc. it’s hard the next day after my parents watch my son which is almost 2 1/2 years old. He is Whiney and bratty but I put my foot down with him and don’t let him get away with things that he can at their house.

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I think all kids are worse for mom. I asked my 3 year old to pickup and an hour long meltdown resulting in time out. Dad came home said pickup so he happily skipped over to do it. I’ll bet at daycare she picks up, trust me I have a daycare and kids whose parents are saying is my child ok for you have the same battles but the kids are awesome here for me. In essence toddlers are jerks at the core so I hate to say it’s likely a phase but it probably is and just draw your battle lines and stick to them. God speed mama!!

My kids stay home with me throw fits and cry when I ask them to clean up. So I would say she is just being a typical child

Yea…and then he started to GROW out of it…this literally all sounds completely normal 🤦🤦 cherish the people who love her, not all kids have that :+1:

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You mentioned that she has a speech delay. I recommend working with speech teacher on her communication skills. It sounds her communication skills are limiting her. When she has better communication strategies the crying spells will decrease. Other caregivers could probably use more strategies as well to help her.

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Ok so, try and find a way to make the activity fun (clean up games and songs) you don’t have to actually pick up toys but if she feels you are doing stuff too she will want to.for hair brushing let her do it first and the after, putting it up give her a few choices on Wich hair tie/bow to use. The crying because she wants something is just gonna take time and patience

She’s a NORMAL 3 year old… Maybe you need parenting classes so you know what to expect and how to properly handle a 3 year old child. :roll_eyes:

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