Anyone else feel like their marriage suffers due to a blended family? My husband doesn’t see it but see him favor his two older children (8 and 10) due to their mom not being in the picture and parents them “easier” We have one child together and currently pregnant with number two. Just feel like our marriage overall is controlled by them and wondering if anyone else in a blended family has advice or guidance on this topic.
I’ve been dealing with this for almost 7 years, unless you try family counseling it just becomes a way of life unfortunately, and the kids that get treated unfairly will be upset and rebellious…
Your marriage is controlled by ‘them’?? Is it possible you both have issues and not just him? I think you’d both benefit from counselling x
Counseling. Sorry this is something that should’ve been discussed before having children together. He needs to treat them all equal. All the things that you except will be the things that you regret. Goodluck
Hardest battle ever. Yes i deal with it.
One of the reasons I’d probably stay single and not remarry. I don’t want to deal with other people kids or the have any indifference. And most importantly you can make your partner feel the same way as you about each others kids.
Counseling, if u approach your husband, he’s gonna be defensive. My sister over compensate, enabling even encouraging his misbehaviour, because the dad bailed out. To the point it’s abusive to everyone in the family, no approach or talking can be done without flipping shit.
Going through this now except my stepson is the one on the outside. My husband feels guilty because he barely sees him he only sees them on the weekends and it’s hard so maybe the favoritism is because of the chronic and guilt of not being there for them
All children in the same house should be treated as equally as possible. I understand that certain situations will cause you to react differently but not due to an absent parent because you are there for them so their is 2 parents.
if it gets worse prepare yourself to become a single mom:slight_smile:
Ex husband’s children made life very hard even though they were 9mos, and under 3 when we got together. Bio mom wasn’t in the picture for the first 10 years. Married 15 years. The kids don’t speak to me. Even though their dad cheated and married the Bi&$&!
He was VERY hard on my daughter. Never treated her age appropriate; even though she was 4 years older than his daughter.
My husband is an has always been jealous of my son… He favors his grandchildren over my son HES known 18 years
Show the kids love and u won’t feel that way
Maybe you show his kids less attention than your child with him. Secondly, older children need more attention than a younger child does as in monitoring not taking care of them. Don’t be hard on him for wanting to be involved. If at the time your young children get to the age of these kids and he doesn’t give them the same attention, then you might have a case. Meantime, bring this family together and stop finding fault where there is none. Love them all and enjoy them.
Communication is the biggest thing u should worry about, talk to him about what u see
Of course he favors his kids just like you would favor yours. In REALITY this is how blended families work and the innocent kids pay for it. Think about it… you knew what you were getting into before you married and had kids together. They had ALL of their Dads attention before you came in the picture and had no choice about you becoming their stepmother. Selfish adults who think the KIDS should be doing the adjustments after being through the trauma of losing their other parent.
You need to sit him down and talk to him. Maybe he doesnt realize it. I had 4, my so had 4 and we have 1 together. My 4s bio isnt in the pic and his 4s bio isnt allowed contact. He treated them differently till i pointed out what he was doing and he has gotten better over time about treating them fairly.
I don’t have advice however I feel like my husband favors his own child over mine. We both have kids from prior relationships and were married so when we have both boys I feel like.he goes hardcore on mine and not.his. and I make.it.known. he eventually yells at his own especially if they’re acting up but always uses the excuse that his kid is 3 and mine is 5. I say age doesnt matter if they both do something wrong they both should.be punished
He favors his children ? The ones who don’t have their mother in their lives??
You are not alone! My husband has physical custody of his 7 year old daughter and I’m also pregnant with our second. It feels like my step daughter runs our household and has him under her thumb and it’s hard to even get my husband’s attention away from her for a second. I’m here to talk if you need