Is it weird that I don’t like that my MIL acts like our kids are also hers? She tries to make decisions for them and calls them “my girls”. I don’t know why sometimes I feel like she tries to take my place as their mom and it pisses me off! Don’t get me wrong I love my MIL and appreciate her but sometimes she goes too far. I dislike feeling like this! Does anyone else ever feel this way about their MIL?
" my girls" isn’t really offensive…so I assume there is more that you haven’t explained about the situation. My advice is to make sure you are setting clear boundries on what is not acceptable. (Like making decisions you should be making) and also reflect on your feelings and what exactly is causing them…is she maybe getting more “quality time” or “fun time” with them, while your time is taken up by more of the parental chores? Maybe that could be making you feel a little threatened by her time with them/closeness with them. (This is just an example, but if it part of the issue, I would try setting aside specific time with just you and them for something fun)
You will do the same when you are a grandmother , trust me
I would talk to her about it. In my family, it’s custom for us to call our nieces and nephews our kids. Even my mom and mil does it too.
I don’t feel bad if my mil tries to be nice or sweet to our kids. It’s her way of showing love and respect for all of us including me and I appreciate it. I wish my kids could spend more time with both side of grandparents. Some of my best memories were times spent with my grandparents. I understand your feelings too but think how you’d feel about your children’s kids someday, it might make you understand. Maybe it’s very awkward for her and showing affection doesn’t come easy to her. So she goes a bit too far. Grandparents are a passing blessing, only around for a limited time (mostly). Let your kids enjoy a good bond, it’d be beneficial for them and ultimately for you too. Best wishes!
Um that’s what grandma’s do… My mother calls all of her granddaughters her girls in fact I call all My brother’s kids My girls too as they do with My daughter. We know who the parents are We just love them all the same!!! Be happy you have her and enjoy your time you have left…
Grandma gets to play with and spoil the kids and you get to discipline and raise them right. Grandparenting is the best. But feel free to tell her to back off if she tries to take over. Also what does your husband think?
Youre just being a little insecure and thats ok. But you can never be replaced. Try accepting that they have an amazing grandmother and just be grateful.
Appreciate your MIL she’s there to help you
I don’t have that problem, but my sister does. Her MIL causes drama quite a bit between her and her husband. Not going into details, but it’s way overboard and beyond regular grandmother type actions.
I understand where you are coming from. My FIL say ‘Your my boy’ to my son. My son at 3 corrects him and say no I’m daddy’s boy, and daddy is your boy.
As for making decision, that’s a nope in my book. It’s nice to have help but decision are for you and your partner.
You are being too into your feelings. You don’t marry a person, you marry the family. If you decide children you are bonded for life. Those are her girls in a way, connected thru DNA. You have to start asking yourself some hard questions and figure out why you feel jealous over your children being overly loved by their grandmother and why that bothers you so much. Mother is God in the eyes of her child. You can’t be replaced. No need to be jealous over something so silly.
My ex mom in law was the same she used to say she’s my baby she tried to dictate what name to call her she used to change her clothes that I’d put on her when she looked after her , did the exact opposite if I asked her to do anything specific…wanted to take her to Australia for a month when she was 10 on her own …the list is endless…I did get irritated and had to speak up with the Australia episode…she’s her grandmother and she loves her plain and simple
My grandchildren are my babies…
Yes!!! Mine tries to get my son to call her “mama”
Sit down and lay out clear boundaries. Talk to her like an adult. If she doesn’t respect the boundaries take more steps to edge her out until she can respect them.
I told mine and my mom that they already raised their kids, it’s my turn.
Like what choices is she trying to make? Calling her “my girls” is just a term of affection. My best friend calls my kids “my babies”. I never took it as anything but affectionate.
A lot of moms may hold back from responding honestly for fear of incurring the wrath of their MILs. You may benefit from posting on https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL as well.
OK the other stuff I agree with and id put your foot down sooner rather then later. But all “my kids” i call my kids. My neices and nephews and daughter.
Its never ment to make anybody feel like I’m taking their role. And only comes from a place of love. If anybody asked me not to I would though, id probs slip up for a while but id make that conscious effort to stop