I feel like my mom doesn't want me to be independent: What do I do?

I’m 19 and due at the end of the year with my first. Bf and I have been together for a little over a year. I’m in college part-time and live with my mom while he has a roommate in an apartment. I’m currently not working and am dying to get back to work after the baby comes. I’ve looked at online jobs with little to no luck. Our plan is for me to continue living at my mom’s for another year, and then baby and I move in with bf. I have my license but no car, which makes my job choices slim. My mom knows our plans, and when I reminded her I would be spending more nights at bfs house after the baby comes, she made a face and said “no”. No? I feel like she wants me to stay stuck living with her. She even told me before I got pregnant she’d prefer if I stayed at home until after college! The reason I’m not living with bf is I need my own car and job to help pay bills and such. I feel very stuck. Isn’t a mother supposed to push her child to be independent and want her to live her own life? Any advice/personal experience stories are greatly appreciated.

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As a mother you just want what is best for your child and I think it is a good idea to stay living with your mom until school is done. I was 19 when I had my first also and I wish I would have stayed at home as long as I could! Having your mother there to help you with little things you didn’t realize you’d need help with can be a lifesaver! You do whatever you want but just words of advice from someone who has been there too- stay home a little while longer. :blush:

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Finish school then bounce! :v:

Independence starts with moving out of your momma’s house for starters. Sounds like you’re the only one holding back your independence here.

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Stay at home as long as you can ! It’s a struggle trying to pay for a house & living on top of baby stuff, if your mom is willing to help & be there for you guys , then stay, it’s great having a mothers help, you will realize when you become a new mom ! I’ve been blessed to have my mothers help & I wouldn’t change it at all !

She is probably afraid for the futur… Seems like you didn’t make the better choice at first.

Keep up the good work and she will see you are becoming a good mother.

Finish school, save up for a car, then move. She just doesn’t want to see you fail or get stuck in a situation that wouldn’t benefit you.

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Personally you should spend more time with the BF now that way when you live together full-time you know what you are getting yourself into. Make sure he’s a good father, person, etc. Sometimes that’s hard to tell til you are there all the time. But adulting does suck so enjoy it while you can lol. I’d finish school first and work part time and save for a car as well if she allows it.

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I don’t see this as her stopping you from being independent. You might be 19 but right now you aren’t independent. You’re pregnant, in college, have no car, no job and are living at your moms. You’re dependent on her right now and she knows that and is doing what she needs to do.

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Stay home as long as you can! I get wanting to play house but in all seriousness, having a baby is tough emotionally and financially! If your mom wants to help you by giving you a safe, comfortable place for you and your baby- take it!!!

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You’re living with your mother, pregnant. You can’t support yourself and your bf isn’t willing to support you and your child. Your mother is the only one thinking at all. Stay there. You’re not mature enough to be “on your own” if you got pregnant living with your mom without a car and job to support yourself.

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Grow up :woman_shrugging: you and your boyfriend. You live in your mothers house, under her rules. Your baby daddy lives in an apartment without you, and your mad your mom wont let you do what you want lol you should find a job, literally anything since your a parent now and need to provide for your own kid. Boooooo :woman_facepalming:t2: your lucky your mom is willing to take care of you and your baby.

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Honey you’re 19. She just wants to help and to make sure you (her baby) and your kiddo are being taken care of. Stay home for a while and let her help. Finish school, get a job, get your own vehicle and build yourself up while at your mom’s before you leave. She will enjoy the time with her grandbaby and you’ll be bettering your life for you and your child.

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Honestly appreciate your mom now. I have had to do it all on my own. No parents. No cushion if I fail. I never got the option to go to school because I had to work to put a roof over my kids heads. Your mom just wants you to succeed. And I would say at the moment your not quite there yet.

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You’re going to want and appreciate her help I’m just saying. I thank God for my mom when I first had my son and I was 33!! She’s the only reason I got any sleep I swear! Shits about to get realllllllyyyy real and I wouldn’t be pushing away those willing to help. I was lucky enough to be able to live with my parents until my son was a year and half. During that time my husband finished school and got a job and now we have our own place. I’m so grateful I had help. I’m 36 now pregnant with my second and legit terrified to have a toddler and a newborn all by myself hahaha. Thankfully my mom lives close and is willing to help me when she can. You are lucky to have your mom and for her to be so willing to make it easier on you.

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I’d honestly stay with my mom if that was my situation, sounds like she wants you to finish school and have a good start when you move out. May seem like shes trying to “trap you” but it sounds like shes looking out for what would be the best for you and your baby.

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Tbh stay as long as you can! Save up as much money as possible. It will be better for baby later

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I’d stay home with my mommy if she would let me lmao she’s gonna be doing more work than your BD :rofl::sob:

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You should appreciate her wanting to help you. Stay with your ma finish school. Don’t rush to get out in the world fully. It’s not that great.

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Your bf should have taken you in with or without a job and car…that child is his responsibility now and needs to step it up!

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