I feel like my spouse is unsupportive: Advice?

I feel so unsupported by my partner. In many ways, he’s a great man, don’t get me wrong. He works hard and does his share of housework. But I feel like he is so unsupportive. For example, when I decide to start something instead of building me up, he knocks me down. For example, he’s told me that I would never be able to handle having kids (something I’ve always wanted), and his reason for this was that we had to rehome a dog as we weren’t the right family for her. She was bonkers ripped up our floors and wallpaper (for anyone worried, she has a lovely home on a farm now loving life). Next, I’m planning on getting Invisalign before we get married as I’m very insecure about a certain tooth. His response, “you’ll never stick it, I give you a few months, and you’ll give up” I feel like your partner should be your biggest fan, not your biggest critic.

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Why would you marry someone who is so negative about you?

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Why do you want to marry someone who treats you like this? They’re on their GOOD behavior until they’re married…

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That is not only being unsupportive, but 100% emotional abuse and I’m sorry you are dealing with that. I would not marry him unless he gets some help it will only get worse

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Talk to him about him tearing you down. If it doesn’t change, don’t marry him. Leave.

That’s not okay way to respond to your SO
When my man talks shit about me honestly I snap back and make it clear that his comment wasn’t ok

I wouldn’t marry someone like that.
Get invisalign and a new man :clap:t2:

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Thats emotional abuse! You shouldn’t marry a man like this! Run

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It sounds as though you may have an issue with follow through that he’s picked up on…and is bothered by.
The issue isnt really that he’s bothered by it.
Its honestly not even that he doesn’t support your aspirations…especially since the examples you’ve given are humungous changes you can’t exactly take back and/or pricey.
He actually has a right to his feelings which can include feeling unsupportive of certain things.

The issue is that he’s voicing these opinions in such a passive aggressive way that its becoming hurtful rather than simply talking and expressing himself clearly and in a more compassionate way.

You need to talk to him. You need to tell him how those comments make you feel. But you also need to be prepared to listen to his feelings.

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Maybe you should leave him and say sorry I don’t follow thru.
I am seriousness do what you want hun. Life is too short to get tied up with other people’s bull shit
Even if it’s the other half.

Run fast run far. It’ll only get worse

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A- you need to communicate with him about this
B- depending on outcome of A, really think about whether this is a man you want to spend your life with

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Sounds like you have an issue with follow through and that’s annoying too him? We all have things we have a short fuse with

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Run now. The ones that act like that before marriage only get worse after marriage. He’s not the one hun.

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Are you sure you want to marry this guy?

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Ohh hun if he’s this way now … I pitty you a few years down the road… this should be the phase where he’s actually trying to be nice loving and supportive. If he’s this negative now you’re in for one hell of a ride .
I did 17 years hard time with a [email protected]$$ and wish to God I listened to those around me who pointed out the bad behavior before hand it would have saved me a ton of mental emotional and physical abuse

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Dont get married because if hes like this now it wont get better. Emotional abuse is the first sign of abuse escalating to physical abuse and financial abuse. Please reconsider marrying this guy. He may be a hard worker and his share of housework but that doesnt mean hes a good guy in the end theres a lot of men who are hard workers and who help around the house that emotionally physically financially abuse their spouse. U do not need this type of treatment from someone who loves u cause love doesnt hurt trust me.

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I get similar comments from my husband. But they are extremely justified. I start so many things and do them for many years and then find some new hobby to do. Some are much more expensive then others. He does not say them to me to be mean but to make
Sure the money required will not go to waste. Again totally justified. My husband is extremely supportive. Almost always helping me with things for my chosen hobby. Sometimes over 1k in materials. But he always asks me if I am going to
Stuck with it. I would talk with him about why. If it is not because you stop and start things then there may be other issues but if you do start and stop things like getting a work out equipment I use it but not as much as I promised. These things do bother my husband. Again if you don’t and always stick to your word of finishing or sticking with it then maybe there is another issue. Always best to talk with your partner. And stay calm and hear him and then say your side.

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The relationship is over. He’s never getting over you getting rid of his dog.

Just wondering if you will rehome a child when they tear up your house, color on the walls, etc.? I agree with your partner. You can’t handle a dog, you definitely won’t be able to handle a kid. Sounds as if he’s speaking the truth and you don’t like it :woman_shrugging:t2:

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