I feel like my spouses grandma doesn't care about my oldest: Thoughts?

My oldest daughter is not his, but my youngest is his; I posted on Facebook to pray (didn’t tell anyone what was going on for neither one of them) for my oldest daughter and my husband’s grandmother never had any concerns about what was going on with her didn’t ask us or anything, then I posted on Facebook about my youngest to pray for her and then my husband’s grandmother was blowing up my phone having concerns on what was going on when I confronted her about it all she could say was she didn’t know why she wasn’t concern about my oldest. How would you handle that situation cause? It hurts my feelings, thinking she doesn’t care about my oldest, only about my youngest. Suggestions on how you would handle it cause now she won’t even talk to me because of the situation. She only talks to my husband?

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If they can’t accept and treat everyone equal, they aren’t around :woman_shrugging:t2:

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She’s a witch. My ex husbands mom was like this. My ex husband passed away a year ago this past Christmas. This witch sent MY daughters who weren’t his the following message. We have decided as a family that you all are no longer welcome at OUR family events! Like, who does this crap?!?

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Be happy hubby has to deal with her. Not your grandma not your problem. Probably how she sees your oldest anyways. Not her grand baby. Not her concern. Said but let granny go​:scissors::scissors::scissors:

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Everyone is to be treated the same regardless if she can’t she can’t be around. End of story! Feeding for you and your oldest babe she doesn’t have a right to be in your lives if she can’t behave & treat your oldest babe the same as your little babe x

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you think thats bad my son is my exs moms grandchild and even before he was born resented him because my exs other child her favorite didnt want his dad to have another child even though mom did thus treating her grandson from day 1 like crap and still does almost 11 years later id say if she cant treat both the same she never will and to avoid her because the other child will wonder why they are treated different

When i was married to my sons dad I didn’t play when it came to treating my kids equal. I have 3 girls before my son. If his family didn’t buy something for all the kids then they didn’t buy anything for him. I would send back anytime they bought for him and not the girls. After a few times they seen i wasn’t playing about you buy for all or none.

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Let her know how much when your youngest gets older it will affect her to know that grandma treated her sister differently than her!

Honestly her bond with your oldest depends on how old grandma is and how long you and your husband have been together

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I mean, I would delete and block her from all social media. Not interested in dealing with anyone like that. I wouldnt be going to any family functions either. Neither would my kids. She can either fix it, or just leave us alone. I would also talk to him about not sharing any info with her. That would be that on that.

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Maybe she didnt see it that day? Not everyone lives on social media.

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I totally understand this, I went through a similar situation with my now ex’s family!! They even went as far to tell my oldest that he could address them as his family, grandma, uncle, cousin etc. Just to turn around after my youngest was born, to start excluding him from family events but wanted to take my youngest son, who is biologically her grandson!! I nipped it in the bud immediately, if my oldest couldn’t go, the youngest couldn’t go, period!! They pretty much distanced themselves for years, until they were older, and by then my oldest didn’t want anything to do with them!! It definitely hurt him though b/c he took them seriously when they invited him in as a part of their family!! Unfortunately, in these cases, all you can do is be honest, but, you can’t force someone to feel like you do!! Make no effort to make this right!! She got caught in her ways and now needs to be the one to make it right!! My advice would to not leave your oldest alone with her or force her to visit!! I would accept it and move on, that is something your husband should battle out, he should be firm in that is just as much his child as your youngest!!

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I would just block her until she is ready to be a grandmother to both your children.

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Can’t treat BOTH kids the same, you don’t get to have a relationship with EITHER. Plain and simple.

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I don’t care how many people feel the need to say “not biologically theirs, not their problem” type crap. If you don’t put your foot down now, it will only get worse from here on out. But don’t force it either because then it becomes an “only because I have too” thing, without any genuine care. Explain it and let them think about it and come to the sense that they are in the wrong and come to the decision of wanting to get to know their extra grandkids. I don’t get how people can be so cruel to a child in any way, shape or form. I hope she comes to the understanding that she’s intentionally hurting an innoncent child simply because she’s not blood-related.

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One is biologically hers grandchild,one isn’t. she’s not a bad person because she doesn’t love your child as much as she loves her actual grandchild. You got to accept it for what it is

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Its up to your spouse to say something. He should make it clear that they both get equal treatment or there would be consequences. When I first got with my partner I had 1 son from previous marriage and before me or my son came around his family he made it clear that he would not accept anyone treating him wrong (My inlaws love him as if he was their own but its important that ur partner sets the standards)

The older generation do not understand blended families…

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Delete her out of your life.
It’s never going to change

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Cut her out. My in-laws do the same exact thing to my oldest. I refuse to associate with them or allow either of my kids around them.