I feel like my step daughter tries to get attention from my husband: Advice?

I have an eighteen-year-old stepdaughter from a previous relationship and also a daughter of my own from the relationship as well. My stepdaughter comes to spend time with my daughter every now and then, which is wonderful that they have a bond. I remarried about six years ago to a man that is a few years younger than me (we’re in our 30’s). I just get these vibes like my stepdaughter is trying to get attention from my husband, and I would like advice from outside sources. I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or if it is really something that I should be concerned about. For instance, she comes to visit and immediately changes into short shorts that are definitely inappropriate, and when we go swimming and stuff in the summertime it seems like she always wants his attention, and I catch her looking in his direction, and most of the time it’s when I leave to go get a drink or to use the restroom she will be over there playing around and showing off but doesn’t do it when I’m around. I know that she had started talking to a gentleman at her job that was 25 and later found it that he had a girlfriend and a child on the way, but she continued to pursue it for some reason. I would just like feedback on other people’s opinions and what they think I should do if it’s something I should be worried about.

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Are you worried about your husband is the actual question here…

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I’d trust your gut on this I dont think you’re paranoid at all

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I think you need to have a serious talk with her and one with your husband

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Time to chat with EVERYONE

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This sounds like the beginning of a lifetime movie…

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If u feel threatened that a teenager can and probably will snatch your husband!!! I’d be worried about him?? Because a man is a man regardless

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If you trust your husband there is no issue. Its not like hes going to slip and fall into her vagina. She can vague flirt all she wants but good men who love you dont stray.

I say Have a talk with the both of them. If she dresses inappropriate let her know it’s not acceptable in ur home. Tell ur husband u dnt appreciate him playing with her .

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Dies he show attention back ? Maybe u r paranoid , maybe she changes so she can be more comfortable, r you insecure when u r at the beach or pool ? Is she just being friendly?

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Yes, it sounds paranoid… I’d suggest working on your confidence and spending time with your teenagers

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I would be concerned. She sounds like she has boundary issues. From here on out, she wouldnt be over there over night. I would also let her know that I love her. Always will. But yeah, that will need to be nipped now.

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She’s in your house, tell her ass to put clothes on or get out simple as that :woman_shrugging: also if you don’t like how she acts around him confront her, what do you have to lose?

She needs to stay away. Pay attention to your instincts

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Talk about it, open the convo. Put her on the spot and tell her what you’ve observed.

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Sounds like she is out of control. I would set bounderies. She’s an adult.

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I REALLY thought this said eight and I was horrified reading it

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She definitely seems to be interested in him. Just stating facts. If shes going out of her way to do all of this & as u stated urself she pursued someone in a relationship still. She definitely shouldnt spend anymore nights at your house as a start . and I would sit down and discuss with her & him.

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Maybe your daughter knows, to be honest. I know my daughter knows a whole lot about what her step sisters into and doing than the adults do. I’d think your daughter would have a sense of it. Also, if your husband is entertaining it, THAT is a problem especially having a teenage daughter and as for your step daughter, maybe its a crush…talk to her. Its disrespectful to you and herself and maybe she hasn’t learned that yet. Two things are for sure- gut doesnt lie and communication needs to happen before the damage

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Based on just this info…

She needs a therapist.
Hear me out… She has self esteem issues and May be flirting with your husband but she has no intention on keeping him. She’s a “chaser”.
She needs to learn how to feel good abt herself without behaving in that manner. She’ll pursue the wrong man one day and she is going to end up in a really bad situation.
Talk to her dad and your husband. Someone needs to intervene, now.

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