Pretty out of character for me, but I just looked through my husband’s search history on his phone, and I found that he was searching for nude pictures of my sister and my cousin?? Literally only typing their first and last names and nude right after. Also searching things like ““sex with sister in law”” ““real brother and sister having sex”” Already horrified, I kept scrolling to see what else he had been searching and he had searched things like ““what age do girls hit puberty”” ““young teen girls nude”” ““young teen sex”” and I looked at the date he was searching this, and it was the day we were at my family members 13-year-old daughters birthday party. Obviously, I’mI’m completely disgusted. I am a stay at home mom, and we have a three-year-old son together. He is not a good husband or father. He has a horrible temper, always annoyed with our child, has been very emotionally and verbally abusive to both of us, threatened us. And many more things that would take too long to get into. I have left him several times in the past, but he always promises to change and get help for his anger (Never happens) I always ended up letting him come back because of my child. My child is my everything. I am terrified of getting a divorce and not getting full custody. I am very afraid of how he would be treated and what he would be exposed to without me around to protect him. I’mI’m just at a loss on what to do. What are my odds of getting full custody with no actual ““proof””? If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation, please help me.
You need to talk to a divorce attorney. Most will confer with you in the beginning at no charge.
Please, for you and your childs well being, get out. Take screen shots and hide them from him if you can. Also, write everything down that he says or does with dates and hide it in a safe place. Contact a women’s resource center or some kind of women’s agency in your area to help with any resources available to you. I know it’s scary and overwhelming. I did it. I had 4 children, was a stay at home mom, had no money, no car, and I lived with HIS parents. He was abusive in every way and I contacted a Women’s resource center when I was alone, and they helped me get out and start my life. As scary as it is, your child is still young and you both have your whole lives ahead of you. You deserve to live your best life and so does your child. I promise it’ll be worth it in the end. You are in my prayers!
Save what you found as evidence and get out of the relationship. He is a trainwreck waiting to happen.
Take screen shots. Save all the proof you can. Write down every time he abuses . The date the time of day everything. You’re worth so much more than This. I hope you get out and can start a better life.
When you file for divorce file a protection order for his behaviors showing his searches and his temper/anger (that’s touching on pedophilia) and during the court proceedings file a motion for a psych eval. Sadly, they are expensive and you will most likely have to pay if you request it, but it sounds like he could have the cluster Bs and would likely be placed in supervised visitation, so as to BUILD a good relationship ship. Safely. Feel free to message if needed, but there are MANY things you can do to protect yourselves here.
Leave. He can abuse your child even with you in the home! Ask family of he has made inappropriate comments they may be to embarrassed to tell you. Send copies of his history to yourself and or take screen shots…might help.
Women’s intuition!! You said you never look at his phone. You felt something was horribly off. You know what you need to do. It’s gonna be hard but you’ll find someone better.
Take pics of his search history. Contact an attorney and ask if you should contact police with info and get the hell out.
You already knew the answer.
Screen shot keep your phone close to you password protect if you need to. Do your daily activities as normal gather some stuff son backpack, get you documents ss cards etc. If needed put at your mom’s house or get safety box at bank. Speak to lawyer immediately . Have stuff ready to leave asap. My family was abused at age 3. It does happen
Praying for you and your son.
Like the others have said get out. First screen shot everything. Then take his phone to the police. Even if you have to do it in the middle of the night while he is sleeping so he doesn’t know or take the screen shots to the police. File for a protective order
Let the parents of the girl know. Because he may have already violated her in some way. Get all your important papers together (birth certificate, social security cards, doctors records, marriage license, health and/or life insurance, bank info and anything else you can think of. Once you get that pack a bag fill your car with everything that is YOURS or you childs. Don’t take anything he can claim is “his”. Like anything he had before you were married. The day you leave go straight to the Court house file for divorce and a protective order for you and your son. The go to Social Services and file for emergency housing, cash assistance, heath insurance, food stamps and anything they will help with in your state. Use it as a helping hand not as a way of life. It will be hard but your life, your sons life and his potential victims lives are worth it.
Leave his ass, your putting your child in danger if you stay. Hes obviously got some serious issues and treats you and your son like shit. No matter what there is no excuse for this behavior at all. Your not proving anything by staying with him. Turn in the evidence you found on his phone and leave. Maybe look into some therapy and supports coordination for you and your son. These services can often link you with housing and employment so that you can start over on your own. I wish you well.
You can always get help or counciling for the temper, but there is no help EVER!!! On PERVERSIONS. ONCE A PERVERT ALWAYS A PERVERT. Just trust me on this. Unless God saved his soul and & forgave him. But the Bible says BELIEVE A LIE & BE DAMN. Save yourself and the children. Good luck sweetheart. God will grant you what is right. Start doing your homework.
Call the police and let them have the hard drive. Get a protection order. No judge will give him custody. GET OUT NOW!
You’re lucky you didnt find anything to do with toddler porn. Which wont be long if you stay. Get out asap. Seriously I dont know what you’re still doing there.
I’m sure people have said this, get pictures record his tempers, record things he says to you and your son. Get out and get a good ulawyer. It’s never to late to start over and always protect yourself son. Him having possible search history about teens could be a big red flag for court
Take screen shots with your phone, I would leave and leave fast!
You need to get screen shots of it and send it to yourself ASAP then delete it… because it’s wrong. He could be a full on predator and if anything were to happen, and you knew about his search history. YOU could be in serious trouble. Take action ASAP!!
Be done…you don’t need that mess…you are always gonna wonder…
Take his phone to the police if you can and let them gather some evidence and at least it will be down on record that way if he tries to go for custody he won’t get it, this is very concerning you need to get out now not only for your kids but for your self also