I found out my boyfriend cheated at the beginning of our relationship: Thoughts?

My bf and I have been together for exactly two years. We started dating in November 2017 and made things official Feb 14, 2018. He got a new phone a couple of days ago, and I was home alone and saw his old phone on the couch. I’m very insecure, and curiosity got the best of me, and I went through it. Long story short, he was messing around with girls up until May of last year (after we had been dating for six months and official for three months). One girl, he still works with, and I always had a weird feeling about. After going through it all, I noticed he stopped talking to them around June 2018 and stopped hanging out with his toxic friends around then as well. I never thought of him as that type of guy, so it shocked me. But he is kinda narcissistic, so it makes sense, I suppose. Anyway, I confronted him about it, and all he did was say I deserved better, and I should leave. I told him I didn’t really want to leave. I just wanted an explanation. He told me he was a selfish person, and still is to an extent. He said he didn’t really consider us serious until the end of summer 2018. I made a list of pros and cons in my head, and I just don’t know what to do. When we started dating, he’d only been single for about two and a half months from being with a girl for about two years. And he DID stop doing the shit he was doing once he considered us serious… so what’s y’all opinion? Because he’s still telling me I deserve better and should leave. Yet he says he doesn’t want me to leave. (That’s the narc coming out). Advice

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Just keep a close eye on him

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Gross leave him u been living a lie this entire time

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If it was me I would go. After something like that I wouldn’t be able to trust him again and trust is one of the most important things to me in a relationship. Just me though.

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A happy relationship doesn’t start out toxic. Leave while you still can. It gets harder when children are involved.

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Been down that exact road. You gotta leave.

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You are setting a standard for what you will tolerate in the future. He knows that you know but is not showing any remorse. There is nothing that will stop him from doing it again in the future if you stay.

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There’s a good chance him “admitting” you deserve better and should leave is him trying to emotionally manipulate you into feeling sorry for him. In the end you have to go with your gut. Would you ever be able to trust him after this?

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if you feel you can deal with the cheating and move past it then stay and work it out…if you feel you need time apart to clear your head then leave…sometimes things come apart for better things to come together…and I’m not talking about a “better” person but a better situation, with or without this guy.

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When someone tells you/shows you who they are, believe them. He keeps saying you should leave, so maybe you should.

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You were insecure without knowing any of this. Now that you know it’s only going to get worse. Just cut your losses and move on. He is telling you, that you deserve better. Believe him.

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There’s always someone yelling “leave” :roll_eyes:. Only you two can make this decision. Try working it out and see where it goes. Good luck

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The beginning of a relationship is when he should be up your butt the most. It’s all downhill from there

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I’d leave that’s horrible. Once a cheater always a cheater

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Kick him to the curb. You deserve better.

The fact that you call him are narcissist says to me you should leave.

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He is gaslighting you. Nope TF on outta there. Yesterday

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Leave! Your story is all too familiar

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Sounds like he feels bad dumping you and goes back and forth in Hope’s you do leave,LISTEN TO HIM GET GOING

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I would break up. Cheating is a hard no for me.

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