I found out my husband had a baby with someone much younger: Advice?

So maybe I am overreacting, but I’d like to hear some opinions. My husband and I were separated for 3 yrs. We got back together in august 2018. 2 months before that, I found out through Facebook he had a baby girl with a much younger woman. I never knew they were expecting. At this time, she was still trying to get back with him. It took him a while, but the baby’s mom agreed to let him see her even though he and I were back together. We have been raising her since. I’ve tried to be civil with her because we are “co-parenting” sort of, and I watch the baby on my days off and stuff, so when I need to, I text her. (Ex. The baby fell asleep so let her spend the night, I’m off tomorrow I’ll babysit all day) she will reply, but whenever she gets off of work early even though she knows IM the one watching her, she will call my husband at work and have him call me to let me know she’s on her way to pick her up. I know they need to keep in touch for the baby’s sake, but we went on vacation in Sept, and he kept sending her pictures of the baby while at the beach or at the hotel, random places when she was looking cute or whatever. I feel like when she’s with us, it’s her time with us. Momma has her time with her to have those cute picture opportunities. She does the same thing. I know she’s sent him random pictures of memes or places that have nothing to do with the baby, and I’ve talked to him about it, and he just says I’m crazy, and it’s always just about the baby. She calls him at different times of the day when he’s at work, and the baby will be with me, so it’s not like she’s checking up on the baby. He’s called her while on his way to work also. The longest conversations have been 10 minutes. These calls I’ve seen before he erases the logs. He never keeps texts or calls logs unless he forgets to erase them, and I sneak a peek. Do I need to chill the ef out, or should I worry even more?? …


Just my opinion but, if he feels the need to delete call logs and text messages then he thinks hes doing something wrong.


The only bad part of this whole thing is at the end. If he is hiding texts and calls from her you have an issue. Communicating about their child isn’t it


Omg this is crazy wow


Sounds Like More Going On

Very simple.You dumped the fool!

I think you should chill in my opinion


Messy. The whole thing. 🤦


Def hiding something if hes deleting :woman_shrugging:t2:


Yeah, he’s not being faithful.

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Stop being the free babysitter .


Deleting is the red flag automatically… I dont understand why she cant call you when you have the child which makes logic sense… you’re the one with her child. If he hasn’t put his foot down on what times is appropriate to call him that’s another red flag. Fuck that shit… you’re strong for trying and doing the right thing u feel in your heart but I couldn’t deal with that …

Omission is lying. He is lying. Sounds like they’re still messing around and using you as a baby sitter.


Sorry but I would be concerned

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Just remember, sex isn’t the only way to cheat. It can be physically mentally or emotionally…


Do you have children together? If you don’t, get out of that situation.


:anguished: what a bloody big mess this is! Hes totally hiding a lot from you!


Idk I feel like he’s deleting the messages because he knows you will be upset for them having a friendship but then I feel like he may be hiding more, give it some time.


You definitely need to chill out or get out in my opinion. She may just not be comfortable talking to you. It’s easy to tell just from the wording the post that you do not like her and if you are the same way toward her in person then I could definitely understand why she would not want to communicate with you directly. When it comes to last bit, it sounds like you and the hubs have some deeper issues to work out. If you feel the need to snoop through his phone then there are definite trust issues. Do you make a big deal about the calls and texts when you see them? If the answer is yes, then I can definitely understand why he deletes them.


Why are you involving yourself in this MESS. Leave him, theres so many great guys out there without these horrendous issues.