I gave my neice a phone but feel I should take it away because she isn't doing what she promised: Thoughts?

A little background. My husband and I live with my inlaws. My BIL and his girlfriend also live here with their three kids (6,10 and 11). Were staying here temporarily while we wait for our house in another state to be ready. A few months ago, my husband and I gave our 11-year-old niece a cellphone (we got a free phone/line on our plan). We made a deal that she could have this phone if she picked up dog poop once a week. It’s a simple 5-minute job if that. She and her mom agreed. Well, months went by, and she did it once. She didn’t even put the poop in the bucket so we could toss it. She just threw it out of the grass onto the dirt a foot away. Well, last week (after multiple people telling her she needs to pick up the poop and still didn’t), we told her we were going to take the phone. She dead ass told us that if we took it, her mom would just buy her another one. That pissed me off. We gave her a week to pick up the poop. She still didn’t so now, where shutting the phone off on Monday. Now, everyone’s all upset. Like we didn’t tell her a million times and gave her a million breaks to do it. My MIL feels like because it was free on our part, we should just give it to her, but what does that teach her? I’m so sick and tired of the adults in this house not disciplining their kids. My kids are only 2 and 1. These kids are older and know better. When they act up and throw tantrums, everyone just makes excuses. They’re tired; they just don’t understand, etc. My kids are babies. These kids are not babies. I even had to pull my one-year-old put of the baby gate because the ten years shoved her into it! I’m so sick and tired of no one being firm with the kids, but I can’t say anything because they’re not my kids. How should I handle this situation? Any suggestions? Thank you.

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Next time u get a CHILD a phone dont wait MONTHS to try and discipline them

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Shut it off. Let her mom provide it.

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It’s your phone and your plan. You have every right to take it. I would do the same

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TURN THAT PHONE OFF! If she wants it on, she works for it. :woman_shrugging: let mom get her another one :roll_eyes:

Deal’s a deal. Kids need to learn about consequences. I think of it this way-I’m not necessarily raising just a child, but a future adult that isn’t a jerk.

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Take that phone away. She broke a contract, end of discussion.

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Take it away! If her mom is going to buy her a new one then that’s on her mom. But she needs to learn that not everyone in life is going to let her get away with whatever she wants. Someday she’s going to get a job and her boss isn’t going to let her do nothing. You’re teaching her a good lesson

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She is old enough to hold up her end, if she agreed and someone other than you knows she agreed to the deal. And she doesn’t hold up her end, take the phone away until she holds up her end. Not just for a day but maybe for a week. She sounds like she thinks she can get away with everything. If the parents don’t teach discipline, teach it or at least talk to the parents about her comment about how her mom will just buy one.

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First she is 11 she doesnt need a phone. 2 if she doesnt did her chores then she doesnt deserve privellages. Take the phone. My kids are 3 7 10 14 and 15 and they know they have daily chores to do and if they dont do them they dont get their electronics for the day. They need to learn respect and responsibility

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Maybe talk to her mom maybe you can something up so you take to phone until she does her job and the give back to her every week same day same time

Tbh at the end of the day yous gave her the phone and it’s up to her parents to follow through with the punishments if she is doing what she is suppose to be doing , I can understand where u r coming from as I too would have been pissed but not really much u can do about it now as long as u don’t have to pay a bill for it then I don’t see what u can do about it

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Shut the phone off she ain’t doing her part to get to keep it

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Follow through. Tell the other adults that they’re more than welcome to give her a phone, but you and she had a deal and you’ll be following through with your side of things.

The faster you get your house built, the better! It’s not healthy for families to live together. Rarely goes well. Good luck to you!

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You’re doing the right thing.apparently the rest of your family wants her to be an entitled spoiled brat, don’t participate in that. The real world doesn’t work like that so you are doing her a favor by sticking to what you said, the rest are doing her a disservice. If you have a job that you get paid for and you don’t show up/don’t get do the job do you still get paid? No you do not. So why should she still get the phone of she’s not doing what she promised on return. She also doesn’t appreciate it. Take it away, don’t feel bad.

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Take it back. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. Ya you gave it to her but it had a condition that she do ONE thing and if she can’t keep her end of the bargain it goes back to you. 11 is early enough to learn how the world works.

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Take the phone. And don’t give it back. Her mother can buy her one just like she said

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Maybe give her another job. I wouldn’t want to keep picking dog shit up :woman_shrugging:t4:

Take the phone. You’re right. Be the adult she needs!!

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Shut it off you tried do something nice. Guess she will learn to do what she says next time. Thats some bs your fam is out of line.

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