I get really bad anxiety when I am expecting visitors: Advice?

Ugggh, why do I get such bad anxiety whenever someone is supposed to come over! I go all out with cleaning, prepping, cooking, etc., and then freak out that something will go wrong, and it will all be a waste! Like today we’re supposed to have friends over for dinner, and my five yo got cranky and went down for an early nap, he had his flu shot yesterday but was fine all day, so I assumed he wouldn’t get a reaction, but now I’m freaking out that what if he gets a fever or something and I need to cancel, I don’t always have time to have people over for dinner, and I’ve already gone to so much trouble organizing it this time, I just hate it all going to waste. Mind you, he also got up super early AND hurt his leg a bit yesterday, so he could just be cranky because of that, but my mind always goes to the worse scenario. I do this to myself literally every time we plan to have someone over, and then anything like holidays, birthdays, vacations, travel, I just go through the roof. I can’t deal with planning and spending time and money and then the thought of possibly having to cancel or change plans at the last minute at all. Anyone else like this??

10 Likes

Big hugs. Take a deep breath. This is anxiety 101 and you are not alone.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. It sounds cliche but sometimes you just have to force yourself to let go a little bit. 99% of the time you notice way more and care more than 99% of everyone else.

It’ll be OK. Enjoy yourself, take pride in your hard work, and when it all falls apart (because it usually will to some degree) look at the bright side. Like at least you got the house clean!

1 Like

Whew girl you have some big anxiety going on there!!! I know because I have been there. Go see your doctor and the older I get I find that I can talk myself down.

1 Like

I think the first step is realizing your mot perfect and everything will never be perfect. With kids there maybe hiccups. And if plans have to change, they just do. Step back and take a deep breath. And tell yourself that if it does not go according to plan, Its ok. Some things we can’t control.

1 Like

Yup this is me.

Remind yourself to take time out in the corner and breath. It will all be ok even if it doesn’t go your way, shit happens.

Just got to keep moving forward and think positive. love and light xxx

I also get anxiety about cleaning when people come over. And I have a really clean house to begin with.

Plus I don’t like people in my space.

My advice: don’t invite people over. It’s not enjoyable. I don’t like it. Plus everyone is now in your house so you have to go by their social battery and not yours.

Start seeing a doctor about it. There is medication or even coping mechanisms that they can help you out with.

I find writing out plans helps me. Write down each thing you’re worried about and how you could handle it so you don’t have to cancel plans.

For instance if your son gets a fever from his vaccination it’s not something contagious - give him some panadol/nurophen set him up in your bed and let him watch tv or YouTube or something.

It can be overwhelming but, shit going to happen out of your control, life’s not perfect and neither are we, just have to learn to roll with, smile, laugh, cry but, keep on rolling.

It’s social anxiety. I have it too.

Self talk: They are coming to visit US not the house, There house is just like mine, No body is perfect, It doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be great, etc…

I do, id say most everyone does, but if guest are truefriends they won’t mind, I hope all turns out well for you and you little one is ok

1 Like

Your friends would understand, family too. You can only do, what you can do. Stop stressing the world won’t stop.

Dear, stop overthinking! You’re going to drive yourself crazy! Remember your guests are there to spend time with you and your family. You’re going to have a glorious time, laughing and hanging out. If the baby is fussy, just take care of him. Your guests will understand. Have your husband do his part by serving food, playing music,talking to the guests, etc. I know you want everything perfect, but I can assure you that no one is going to notice if anything is awry! This is coming from a former type A personality that has learned her lesson the hard way. It’s rare that during Covid we get to spend time with loved ones. Enjoy yourself!

1 Like

I’m like this and I’m not even a mom. But the best thing you can do is take a deep breath, and think of the opposite. What if it goes well? What if he just needed a nap? Just positive what ifs to counterbalance the negatives. It won’t cure the problem, but it might help. But definitely take deep breaths. And talking it out with someone close to you can help because they can point out flaws in your anxiety thinking.

Go see a doctor & get some valium or zoloft for your anxiety. It really works & stop being overly dramatic about everything. We’re all human and we do what we can with what we’ve got. Take it easy on yourself.

I so know how you feel even with my very own family I think mine is being afraid to be judged . I about drive myself and everyone else crazy trying to prepare. I am 66 been that way forever doubt I will change. You are not alone.

2 Likes

I have been this very same way still am at age 82. I can’t enjoy my company afraid I didn’t clean well enough, the food isn’t good they aren’t comfortable enough. I thought I would out grow this anxiety stuff by now. Not so

I get anxiety when I get ready to leave the house even though I am excited :laughing:

Sorry still need chips and potato salad and a dessert you can buy them ready made at the store