I go to bed alone and wake up alone due to my husbands routine: Advice?

Do any of you ladies get upset at your significant other because you have a house routine, like get the kids to bed at 10, go to bed, wake up early and have to get them to school, etc.? And he ends up staying up til 130amdrinking 10-12 beers cooking watching tv and whatever else he apparently feels the need to do til 130am? I’m one of those people that doesn’t like chaos and like people to be respectful of the house routine, and it’s also making me feel lonely going to bed alone and waking up alone, and he sleeps till noon or so. Am I the only one who feels like this?

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I wouldn’t be with a man who drinks 10-12 beers a day.

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Does he have a job, waking up at noon and all…

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You know how hard it is to stay up when you’re used to going to bed at this certain time that’s how it is for somebody that works nights if he does not work nights then you have something to b**** about also if he is drinking and doing everything else like making a mess and not cleaning up after himself yeah you have a right to get pissed

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What’s his work schedule? You have your routine and apparently he has his. As long as he is doing his job as a husband and father, I wouldn’t get upset about what he does at night. He’s home , not running the streets.

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Just a question…but did he have any say in making said routine that you want him to follow? Or are you trying to control him with YOUR routine like you would a child?

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Does he not work? Sounds like a bum.

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One of the many reasons I divorced my ex right here.

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Most of the time I go to bed before my husband, my toddler and I go to bed between 8-9 and he usually stays up until 10-11; not all the time, but a few days a week, specifically on weekends… and he is gone to work when we get up. We get up about 7 and he leaves for work at 6.

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mine is similar though he does still get up and goes to work. But a lot of the time he spends it chilling, acting like a college kid, then bed at midnight or 1. he has picked up some help around the house when I ask…but sometimes it’s like pulling teeth

Don’t control the situation. I get you like things your way, but compromise. I at times go to bed alone and wake up alone. It does get to me but at the same time I understand because my husband is in constant pain. If this man of yours has no job no goals or dreams in life then why not end things? But it may just be little things. Have you communicated this to him?

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I couldn’t stand a man like that! I’d be angry as well! He should be helping with chores and getting kids to bed and getting them up and ready etc. He should be spending time with you instead of drinking until 130am and sleeping til 12. Does he not work? That wouldn’t fly with me. I’d be saying bye bye!

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My fiancé works until 11:30 to 12:30 at night, 5 nights a week. He then stays up until 3 to 4 am playing PS4. He sleeps until 30 minutes before I have to leave for work. We only see each other on our days off. It irritates the hell out of me, but I leave him be because it’s his only down time. About once a week he does come to bed with me though, because he knows it makes me happy.

The 10-12 beers thing is something that wouldnt fly with me. I grew up with an alcoholic father, so I cant stand a man who gets drunk every night. And he knows it.

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Is he on 2nd shift. If so on any shift to go straight to bed you have to unwind in a way ,hard go right to bed

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Mine does video games. Then when he is super tired at work he comes home early, so paychecks are never secure

I’m the spouse that stays up late I don’t drink at all and I stay quiet. But, no that’s definitely not ok and I would feel the same way!!

Drinking like that is not normal and sure as heck is not something to incorporate in any kind of “routine.” Doesn’t sound like he’s helping raise the children, and kids need a good male role model. If he’s an alcoholic, he needs help.

Who’s he talking to at that hour? :face_with_monocle:

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It sounds like you arent having problems getting along, just that you feel lonely. Which is valid.

We all do what we have to to survive and stay saine though.

If you’re missing the person you’re with, plan dates, let them know you feel lonely.

Maybe you can compromise and stay up late with him one night for one on one time and he can wake up early to do something with you and the kids.

Start small and see where that leaves you feeling. There may be resistence at first but its worth a shot if its worth it to you and him to try.

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I married a man who was a cop and a soldier. Lots of nights alone

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