I got in a fight with my MIL and don't know what to do now: Advice

So I need a little advice. I’m not looking for any rude comments, so try to keep them to yourself; just want unbiased opinions. I & my mil got into an, almost physical on her part, an altercation at my son’s 1st birthday party & since then she hasn’t been over to see my son, her grandson. It took her over two weeks to even talk & apologize to me when I reached out & told her we needed to have a sit-down. She claims it’s killing her not to see him, but she hasn’t even asked. She’s basically making it seem like I’m keeping him from her. Well her daughter’s birthday is coming up & she wants us to come. Her whole family will be there, & she basically has lied so much about me that none of them like me. I know her daughter is innocent & I want to be there for her, but part of me doesn’t want to show up bc honestly, it’s gonna be weird for me. Every one of them has a negative opinion about me & have said so many rude things to & about me. & another reason why I don’t want to go is bc as I said, she hasn’t even come to see him, but she expects us to come. Like she only wants to be around him when it’s convenient for her. I want to be the bigger person, but I don’t. & I know that’s immature of me, not wanting to go bc I don’t want her to see him on her time only, but idk… What would y’all do

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I would let time takes its course. And meet at another time.

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Put on ur big girl panties and just go…

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I would go along and be absolutely the nicest person that any of them have ever met. She will look silly and everyone will see what has been misunderstood. I know it will be hard but steel yourself and plaster on that smile :heart:

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I let my husband take my son to my MIL’s but I don’t go. Pretty much the same story as yours. That works best for me.

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I wouldn’t go to be honest if she hasn’t even try herself although she may take the opportunity to “Prove” her point on what she is claiming the you don’t want her near your child

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What was the fight about? Because depending on what it was about is if I would even let my son see her or not. She’s/your relationship with her is already toxic with spreading lies and fighting during your son birthday party.

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everyone is different, and ive been in your shoes, but my situation was a little different, but i know the feeling of just wanting your mother in law to accept you and your husbands family to like you… so with that being said, i would go…and just be yourself. have a good time. show them that their opinions are wrong, and what they have heard about you is wrong. you may end up enjoying yourself. if she wont make the commitment to go see her grandson, thats her choice she has to live with. if you dont try, you’ll never know! good luck :slight_smile:

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I have been in a similar situation. The best advice I can give is to cut anyone and everything toxic out of your life. If they are toxic to you they are toxic to your child. This sounds so dead on with some of the things that happened with my MIL. Only she ended up getting physical with me and punched my 10 month old in the face later on. If it doesn’t feel right dont do it.

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Give it one more shot and be the bigger person EVEN if it means being uncomfortable. If it’s a disaster again…from now on let your husband take him. But I also would want it to be on her time because MILs like that will take time alone with him to UNDERMINE you every chance they get. I speak from experience. Good luck.

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I would go. You shouldn’t keep your son from the birthday party. By going you are showing everyone that you are not the problem, she is.

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I would not go! lol but maybe have your husband go and bring a gift from you or the fam. Idk I wouldnt have anything to do with people if they have negative stuff to say or think poorly of me! Family included, I don’t talk to my siblings and aunts bc if it

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Go and be extra nice to EVERYONE. Be the bigger person.

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Go to the party. Not because your MIL wants to see your son on her terms, but because his Aunt wants him there. If you’re uncomfortable you can leave early, say you don’t feel well or something. But if you don’t go, the family WILL believe every bad thing she’s had to say against you. Go, be happy, have some fun… and show them you’re not what she claims.

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I’d give the daughter a bday card/gift and let her know you’re sorry you can’t make it. And why isn’t your spouse handling his mother??? There’s no reason you and she should be getting physical especially if he’s present. He needs to deal with her.

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I have zero tolerance for drama from friends or family. The fact that it happened at my sons birthday party would be the end of that relationship period. My mother in law decided she didn’t need to mind my parenting because she was “grandma” and she learned the hard way. Hasn’t seen my oldest in 8 years and has never met my youngest. We will never have a relationship again. Of course there were many other issues as well but if you want to see my kids you will make an effort and you will do it with out drama. I don’t care what you think of me, my family or my parenting style all that gets set aside if you want to be a part of my kids lives

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Where is your husband in all this? What does he say to his mom or to you? I just mean does he defend you?

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Constantly invite her. Apologize as well!! Constantly engage and initiate! It’s for your kid and your spouse you will try harder n expect nothing from her!

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Go. If they want to be petty and pitiful and make the day weird, that’s on them. Kill em with kindness I’d say! Show up, walk in with a smile and be yourself. They can man up whenever they want to. You tried.

Also, why isnt your spouse dealing with their mother acting like this?

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I wouldn’t go. She needs to grow up and let everyone know that she only said those things about you out of anger. You guys need to sit down and talk like the adults you’re supposed to be.your spouse needs to let their mom know that what she did was childish and inappropriate