I’m 28 and have two healthy babies and one previous miscarriage. I’ve been dealing with anxiety really bad even more now that I’m 13 weeks pregnant. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy, but fears of miscarriage and Down syndrome race through my head all day long. I guess all I need is advice and success stories to ease my mind. The doctor doesn’t want to perform additional tests due to not being high risk. I’m also considering changing ob-gyn.
Why does it matter if the child has downs syndrome? Thatd be my last worry
Get a second opinion. Breath and calm down. It’s completely normal to have fears about your unborn child. I’ve also had two miscarriages and I have two healthy children.
Chances of Down syndrome is higher when you’re in your late 30s/40s not 28. The chance of miscarriage drastically goes down after a heartbeat is heard. You can change your obgyn but you won’t get a high risk doctor tho unless you’ve been determined to be in a high risk pregnancy and one miscarriage won’t determine that. If your other pregnancies weren’t high risk and neither child has Down syndrome then you should be fine.
I was tested while my child was in the womb they at first thought maybe had trisomy 21 a form of down’s. However after being checked out an such their was no sign of any deformailities or downs. Shes a perfectly healthy Rainbow baby. (Born after a miscarriage).
I became pregnant in November and the baby boy I was carrying was diagnosed with DS. I chose to abort. (Beside the point). Then I became pregnant in June and I miscarried almost immediately after taking the test. My point is…there are things in life you can’t control. And worrying about them all day won’t stop them from happening. And if they do happen, it will be horribly difficult. But you will be okay. I wish you all the best. Chances are you will have a beautiful, healthy baby in your arms soon! The uncertainty with life is what makes it so precious.
You can pay for a test to diagnose Downs - NIFTY test. It comes with zero risk of miscarriage and is something like 99.9% accurate. This would ease one of your anxieties. I came up as high risk with standard testing but with the NIFTY it turned out my risk was one in 7 million. I’d definitely recommend it if you can fund it. Good luck x
I think my doctor told me that after 14 weeks that chance of miscarry went down to less then 10% . everything will be fine. Just keep praying. God has given you another chance to bring a life into this world. Just don’t stress because that is the worst thing you can do. Just enjoy this experience. Congratulations
I totally feel your worry. I’m going through the same thing. Except I’m 38. I had 3 healthy babies 2 miscarriages and iam currently 12 weeks pregnant. I think about the same thing. The thought of miscarriage comes up everyday with every pain. At first I tried not to get too excited or attached but I felt worse. I just try to think of everyday is a blessing. Also I worry about a disability all the time due to my age and my daughter has a gene anomaly. Its not bad to worry its normal but try to think of something else when those thoughts come to you. Try talking to a therapist. Hang in there. Worry comes with every baby especially if its different from last pregnancy. Have a great day. You’re doing great mama.
I’ve never had a miscarriage…but I have anxiety and PTSD. My oldest childs birth was traumatic and almost killed us both…so I was kind of a mess with my second pregnancy. And I’m familiar with soothing anxiety and panic.
- Take a breath. Take several.
- It’s ok and natural to worry even without a previous miscarriage.
- Dont worry about down syndrome right now. You couldn’t change it even if you knew about it. It’s not the worst thing that could happen. And when an issue like that comes up…mom side kicks in and you deal. That’s all. You love your child and you deal.
- Try to find a way to distract yourself. Play a game. Read a book. Watch movies. Color. When your mind starts wondering you direct your thoughts.
- When you absolutely cannot direct your thoughts. Use logic or statistics or your doctors reassurance to comfort yourself and ease the anxiety. You’re past the 12 week mark. Your risk has gone down a lot. Your doctor says your pregnancy is healthy. You’re not considered high risk. You’ve had two healthy pregnancies. Give yourself a time limit Repeat those things to yourself. Then after you hit your time limit busy yourself with something else.
I had my last 2 babies at age 37 and 40. They’re perfectly healthy and beautiful baby boys. I was worried about the same thing with my last. Looking back I wish I would of enjoyed my pregnancy more and not worried so much about nothing.
I had 2 healthy babies and miscarried and 2 months later was pregnant again. Have a beautiful healthy baby girl that is 3 now
I wouldn’t even waste my time or money on those tests for medical conditions like DS. When my mom had them done with my little brother it showed he had spina bifida and he would be a literal vegetable. Her OB tried to talk her into aborting for months but she refused. He was born with no health problems other than severe jaundice which we very recently learned (he’s 18 now) is caused by an auto immune disease.
He has full control of his entire body and you’d never know her blood work showed he was supposed to have SB.
- DS isn’t a bad thing. The most kind people I’ve ever met have DS and they literally light up the room.
- Miracles happen. My mom had 2 miscarriages before she had me. When she was 3 months along with me she started bleeding and the doctors told her to go home and lie down because she was having another miscarriage. A month later they told her I was still kicking. I was born so under weight due to that and the umbilical cord being wrapped around my neck. They told her my chances were slim so they didn’t even really want to try to save me. Luckily the pediatrician told her to ignore them and just keep feeding me.
I’m now 26 and healthy with 3 beautiful healthy kids of my own.
Get the panorama test done it tests for Down’s syndrome… non invasive, simple blood work
I’m 28 also. My first was a miscarriage (baby boy), then I had 3 beautiful little girls afterwards (now 8, 6 and 2… and we are DONE trying for a boy ). I had the same worries with all 3 of them. I didn’t even tell family/friends until I was showing, with the fear that I would have to answer to everyone if I had miscarriage again. My last one was really hard on me, just like your situation. I was diagnosed with BPD, and severe depression at the very beginning of my pregnancy (2wks), and the hormones and bad dreams didn’t make it any easier. Being a good mom means that you worry about everything invloving your children until the day you die. You’re a good momma Keep your head up, and just know that everything happens for a reason:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
It will all be ok. I had a miscarriage 9 months after I had a tumor the size of a volleyball removed from my left ovary I took it really hard and then I got pregnant again and was like u scared the whole pregnancy but everything turned out fine now I have 4 kids. Try to relax as much as u can. Hope everything works out for the best. Sending good luck and a hopefully stress free pregnancy.
Stop stressing. Because that is not good for u or the pregnancy. At the end of the day u literally can NOT change the future, so enjoy it ride with it and congratulations xx
I get this feeling so much! I have endometriosis, PCOS and had ectopic pregnancy 5 years ago where I lost one of my tubes. I was told it was such a slim chance for me to get pregnant. Then I had surgery for the endo, went in for an ultrasound to start fertility treatments and they told me I didn’t need them I was pregnant. It was a complete shock and all I could think about was the ectopic and how slim my chances were and what if I lost this one too…i lived in fear most of my pregnancy. But every day that went by and nothing happened I got a little less nervous. And I made it to my 39 weeks when I had a scheduled c section. Just take it day by day. And don’t be afraid to call your Dr if your nervous over something you are feeling. That is what they are there for.
11 miscarriages and 2 beautiful boys. The anxiety never really goes away until you’re holding them. It just doesn’t. If you’re concerned about genetics then order a test. It will give you more answers so you don’t drive yourself crazy. Know that no matter what happens you will make it through and try to enjoy every day through the pregnancy. Sending you lots of love!