I have feelings for my best friend but I am engaged: Thoughts?

Please post anonymously. Ok…I need help! I’ve been with my fiance for nine years: 1 kid together, two from previous. We are planning our wedding for next year; things are pretty great 90% of the time. I have a higher sex drive, and he can’t seem to save money without my helping him, but not deal breakers. Now, I have an amazing friend that I’ve been close with for 15+ years. He’s been someone I can call for help, just to vent and to hang out. We fooled around a bit before I met my fiance, but not since. His wife doesn’t like me because we have a history; my fiance and he are buddies. PROBLEM my friend and I have this really strong bond; we love each other, say we should have ended up together, the timing just never worked out. I have so many different feelings for him; he calms me down and will get me turned on in a second. He says he isn’t as close with anyone like he is with me, not even his wife. When I don’t see him or talk to him for a little while, I actually hurt missing him. I feel guilty having these feelings, too. WTF am I supposed to do with all this emotion for him when I do love my fiance, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him… but there are these feelings eating me away inside?

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Oh man, this is a sticky situation. You either need to cut off your best friend or leave your fiance.

Your marrying the wrong person and your friend needs to divorce his wife

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You shouldn’t be engaged or even be planning a wedding it isn’t fair to your fiancé.

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Well… you’re not married yet

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If you truly feel that way for your best friend then you should let your fiance go. Allow him to find someone who feels for him, the way you feel for your friend.

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Don’t play games with people’s emotions. Not fair to either one. You both to to decide once and for all

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Don’t marry the guy you’re with now that’s for sure.

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Maybe you should focus on your relationship and put some distance in your friendship… that will even show yourself and your friend you respect his marriage.

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I feel bad for his wife and for your fiance. The end.

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:laughing: let the friend go he is married!!! Wtf???

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Please let the guy you’re with find someone else don’t go through with the marriage…you’re not fully committed to him and there might be someone else out there willing to love him properly. On the other hand…ur friend is married and his wife is obviously correct for not liking you I mean you’re proving her right. He needs to figure out what he did there and what he’s going to do but don’t you go messing up that woman’s marriage for your feelings. If he’s gunna leave that his job to do. The only thing you can do here is talk to them both out the cards on the table and see what the guys wanna do.

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Do you think you’re having all these feelings because you are committing to another person now? You love your fiancé and your BFF is married. What if never leaves his wife?
But only you know what is best for you

I would be open and honest with your BF. If you two are as close as you think, this will not be a problem. If you dont address these feelings now, it may eat away at you forever. This also isn’t fair to your fiancé. You owe everyone including yourself honesty and nothing worth having comes easily. Take a chance and see where it goes but at least let your fiancé go. You wouldn’t want to be in his place if the situation was reversed.

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Imagine if your fiancé was feeling like this for someone else… how would you feel? Leave him because he deserves better.

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Stop being friends with your “friend”. Doesn’t sound like a strong bond. Sounds like infatuation and a big mess waiting to happen. It’s easy to feel close to someone when they are always getting your best version and vice versa.

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Cut ALL ties with ur friend hes married and both of you need to respect that. You cant be together and u cant be friends with those feelings …its not healthy for either of you and it’s SOO disrespectful to his wife and your partner… also I would not be getting married RN if I were you.

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You’re having an emotional affair, and that is not fair to your fiance or his wife. You need to come forward with your feelings and let your fiance know about this affair.

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This has disaster written all over it. Only you know how deep these feelings go. Also there are so many variables in this situation. I think you definitely shouldn’t get married. You need to end things. I think you only love your fiancé because of your history and the child on common. Could be totally wrong just my opinion. But if you were in love I don’t think you would have deep feelings for another person. Also, I did say you shouldn’t marry your fiancé. You need to be honest with him, but … that does not mean you are goi nb to be with your best friend. He is married. And that isn’t fair to his marriage and def not to his wife.

Alternative. Take some time away from everyone. Fiancé, friend, family and do some soul searching. T out can’t come back from choices once made. So make sure you’re sure about how you proceed. Good luck.

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Neither of them r for u! Let it gooo (in my Elsa voice). Don’t b selfish all the people u r hurting in the process