I have heard rumors about my MIL and don't feel comfortable with my baby over: Advice?

I have been told by three different people that my mother in law is on meth… several other things have been said, but this is my main concern. I have a baby, and they ( my in-laws) ask to keep her overnight, which I am against 1000%. My husband, on the other hand, says I’m overreacting, and his dad would never let anything happen to our baby, and we have had many arguments about this. Can you give me advice on how to work this out, anyone else I would ask could have a biased input, and I just need some help on what to say and how to handle this without stepping on anyone’s toes.

13 Likes

My mom and her boyfriend take care of my two year old all the time and don’t have any drug issues but I refuse to let her stay with them over night. Regardless I am not comfortable with my child staying overnight somewhere else other than home. You are allowed to make that decision and have the right to say no. You are the mama. No way in hell would I let my child be put in a potential situation like that.

Say NO and don’t back down! Sure they’ll be mad and hurt, but your baby is your only concern!!! Do NOT let them or your husband change your mind!!!

I wouldn’t give a shit about hurting feelings of anyone. I’m a mother and I protect my kids. Noone on drugs or suspected of drug is going to have my kids in their house day or night. Hell no! If it is a drug house and gets busted by cops your kid could be at the house during that time

Forget hurting feelings, PROTECT YOUR CHILD.

1 Like

I would never let my baby stay with someone on drugs! They are such fragile little people that one mistake and they are gone. Talk to your husband about your fears! Talk to your father in law about his wife!

3 Likes

We all would like believe that our children are safe with our parents. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Go with your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Your husband doesn’t want to believe they could cause harm. Denial is a difficult thing. Maybe have them come to your house or take the baby their, but make sure you are present. Tell them your just not ready to leave the baby overnight. Good luck getting your husband on board.

From a mother and grandmother point of view, do what is best for your child, and that is NOT letting people who could potentially be dangerous to your child keep them overnight. IF you want to be sure, tell her point blank what you heard and ask for her to take a drug test. And if she passes, let her spend a night at your house with you there to spend time with the child. A little later, have her take another test. Have her over again for 2 nights, and again have her take a test.If she fails ANY test, sign her up for rehab and tell her until she gets clean, it’s a NO!

Stick to your guns. If she is using that’s not a safe place for your child period. What happens if she’s caught on meth with the baby? She goes to jail and you will be facing child serves because you let the baby stay there. No way No how. Plus you don’t want the baby around that stuff

Regardless, you’re going to step on someone’s toes. And you know what? THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY! Keep your baby safe. I’d ask point blank. Address the rumors directly, see how they respond.

5 Likes

I think children should sleep under the same roof as parents at all times unless an emergency find a safe environment and people you fully trust with them…therefore I advise ur baby stays with you at all times… mil is not a person you should trust especially on drugs…and you probably dont NEED to leave your child elsewhere so nope…keep that baby with you at all times

1 Like

I wouldn’t leave my baby with her!!! Follow your heart, this is your child and all it takes is one terrible mistake to change y’all’s life forever!!! Explain it to your husband and hopefully he will agree with you!!! Do what you have to do!!!

1 Like

Be straight forward. Tell your husband and in laws you heard rumors and you want them put to rest. Tell her if she wants to keep baby overnight then she has to take a drug test and pass it. Simple as that. If she has an issue with that than she doesnt respect you. It’s for the babies safety.

7 Likes

I agree with many of these responses. If you are not comfortable or it feels off, your heart is telling you no. Our children are our #1 priority to keep safe. The answer would be no and you can not worry how they respond. It is up to us to protect our children always. I know that I could not live with myself if something went bad. Keep positive thoughts.

IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH SOMEONE HAVING YOUR CHILD, TRUST YOUR FUCKING GUT!!!
I COULDN’T EVEN TRUST MY OWN MOTHER WITH MY CHILD(he is fine though)FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE GOT TO SAY YOURE THE MOTHER!!!

No. Women pick up on signals men can’t. Some call it intuition but science shows we can see micro expressions that men cannot even though we may not consciously realize it. Also, allegations of drugs or alcoholism is nothing to play with. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of his dad. Your hubby may just be on a different page but its your baby, you’re her first protector. Stand up and say no. The night time break is not worth her safety.

Letting the baby stay with her could cause you to lose your child, either by social services or in death. You are protecting your child. Your husband needs to get on board because nothing is more important than the safety of your child. By the same token, you may want to have the people who told you this info get tested too. Sometimes the ones guilty of the thing is the one who points the finger.

^^^my thoughts exactly you mil needs to take a drug test on the spot or she should not even be holding ur baby let alone keeping baby over night. Do not ever let someone push you around and make you feel bad when it comes to making choices on what goes on with your child or where your child does and does not stay… it only takes a split second for anything to happen

1 Like

Forget stepping on toes… If you don’t want your baby staying with someone you don’t let that baby stay with them.

I’m probably way more standoffish however if I were in that situation no would be no and anyone whom had issue with that could take a long walk off a short pier :100:

2 Likes

Fyi if she is using meth and she holds you baby it will get into your babies system because meth comes out of people’s pores. Your child’s health and safety comes before anyone’s feelings. Make her test or no baby!!

1 Like