I have thoughts of leaving my husband because I cannot have kids: Advice?

I am devastated. Me SO and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. I did get pregnant in 2018, but I had a miscarriage while at work. I never told anyone because I didn’t want to break their hearts. And now, after my second miscarriage in November 2019, still didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t even know it until afterward, I feel like a horrible excuse for a woman. He had a hard time sleeping last night and was just talking, and he said, “We’ve been married for three years, and we can’t even have a kid. It’s embarrassing,” and it just broke my heart into a million pieces. I just cried silently. But now I can’t sleep, and I feel like I should just leave him so he can find someone who is able to have babies and make him happy. I pray every day for my rainbow baby, but it feels like it’ll never happen, and he shouldn’t have to go through that. Am I silly for thinking I should leave and allow him to find someone who can get pregnant?

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Is he willing to adopt?

Have you thought, it’s just not the right time? Adoption? Don’t try… Have fun it’ll happen when you least expect it?

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Oh bless your heart I’m so sorry :disappointed: if you think that’s what’s best & he isn’t willing to work through it with you then that may be the case but talk through the options before you decide to leave

Ive had those feelings. Husbands struggle like us and have feelings just like us. Its crap.
If you have not had any testing done, do so, even the very basic can give u answers

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First of all, you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you and there is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. The fact that he would say that and that that’s his perspective is mind blowing to me. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If anything, YOU should leave HIM for making you feel this way. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Maybe he’s just not the one. Maybe you’ve got something better waiting for you.

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How do you know you can’t have a healthy pregnancy?

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I could smack your husband in the mouth for saying such an insensitive comment. First, you’re not a failure. Having a child does not define you. If he’s not accepting that it may never happen and continues to make statements like this, you two need to seriously talk and figure out if your marriage or kids is the top priority.

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Why not try a surrogate

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There’s always adoption

It took my husband and I six year’s to have our first. Then our second was a very soon after surprise. Good luck

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Try a fertility clinic. I know someone who did and she finally has a baby. There were underlining problems causing her to miscarry. Good luck maybe you guys should sit down and talk about it. And talk about going to see what’s happening.

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Consider a surrogate. Maybe a close friend that would do it for you? I always told my best friend and her husband that I would gladly carry a baby for them

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You need to hsve a serious talk with him about if he loves you enough to not have babies, or if his goal of having a baby outweighs his love for you. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. We wanted a baby together but can not. I had a miscarriage and then almost 1 year later an ectopic pregnancy forced me into a partial hysterectomy. Meaning I can not have any more children. He chose me over another child.

Fertility, surrogate or adoption.

The issue could be anything, your assuming he would be able to have children with someone else, but nothing is guaranteed. I would consider other options if you really want a family.

Maybe adoption or sarogate? Maybe get tested for eggs and sperms counts.
I don’t think it’s embarrasing. It’s sad. Heartbreaking for sure. Just cause your married doesn’t mean you have to have children. You want children. There is a difference at least in my book. Goodluck. Hope you get your wish.

Some women have multiple miscarriages before they conceive a healthy baby. I wouldn’t throw in the towel just yet, go to your doctor and request testing to see why its happening. I’d start there!

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Don’t blame yourself. Slap him in the face he deserves it. I would pack up n leave his sorry ass

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Infertility is more common than you think. If you haven’t thought about it already, try seeing an infertility doctor. They are there for couples who can’t have a baby or having troubles. They were very helpful for my husband and I. I wouldn’t just give up your marriage over that. My husband and I ended up adopting and now have a beautiful baby boy. Next we might look into Embryo adoption.

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