I love my husband but he is always playing video games: Advice?

My husband works all day, and when he gets home, he likes to play video games. I don’t mind that he plays video games, but I’m starting to notice that as soon as he’s done eating - it’s right to the video games and doesn’t help with cleaning up after dinner or doing the bedtime routine. I’m the type of person that I don’t like confrontation, but I can’t keep holding it in. I’m not sure how to about the situation without being rude. I’m breastfeeding, so I have offered to pump and put it in a bottle, but he says it’s okay. I just wish I had help. I wish some days, he would offer to clean up after dinner and give the baby a bath, but he doesn’t. So I have to cook dinner, tidy up, bathe the baby, dress the baby, feed the baby, and then put the baby to bed. By the time all that is done, I don’t get personal alone time because I’m just so exhausted. Don’t get me wrong, I completely love my baby so much and would do anything in this world for him, but I just wish my partner would help more.

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Hey babe would u care to clean up dinner for me please so I can feed the baby and get the baby bathed and to bed? Some guys just don’t have a clue unless instructed

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When will women start realizing that saying what they think and feel to their HUSBAND is not rude? For Christ sakes, just say it how it is. If they’re offended, it’s because they know it’s wrong.

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My hubs used to be like this… Took me a long time to break him of this…I explained to him that I get that games are your unwind time… But I haven’t had a break all day from the baby… And it finally clicked… So now 3 kids later he still helps before getting on games

Hide his controller and while hes searching for it mention he can help clean the kitchen too.
Or
Dont make dinner for him tell him theres a tv dinner he can make and then theres no mess in the kitchen… Idk in petty as duck when it comes to shit like that

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Tell him. Some guys need to be told what to do and when and how. And no need to nag to him about it or get mad. It’s probably annoying you because of your hormones while breastfeeding. I know I was like that and every thing was getting on my nerves. But communication is key.

Communicate your needs with your husband. Just plain out ask him for help.

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You can’t expect him to read your mind. Since you already do it all he probably assumes you do not need help. “Hey can you please clear the dishes while I feed little man?” “Would you mind giving the baby a bath so I can have a minute?” It sounds like he has agreed to help out, he may not know where to step in.

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You married a gamer. What did you expect.

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He just needs to grow up! When you do everything for a man then they don’t appreciate it they just expect it!!

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Join him, skip the cleaning etc

Then when he comes home be playing video games

Tell him of he doesn’t help then you’re going to adopt the baby out :joy::joy:

You are not alone with this type of situation. I have this issue as well, and ive come to learn its VERY COMMON. Although I don’t understand it, I’ve tried to accept it, with some compromise.

We pretty much had to make a “game time” schedule"

It got to the point where my SO was on the console more than he spends time working or even sleeping. He wouldn’t help with our kiddo, wouldn’t spend time with us, but then would get upset when I posted all these great pictures of me and daughter and people would ask “where’s your other half”

“still with ×××?”
“I haven’t seen any pics of y’all lately. Split up?”

He woukd be upset at me for capturing memories that he was not a part of and posting them on social media. I explained to him (not so nicely) that people wouldn’t be questioning the status of things if be were more involved with your family rather than that game.

That clicked for him. Idk how long it will stay clicked, but him realizing hes missing out on little/special moments def got hus attention.

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What was he like before the baby? Did he help with dishes or cleaning house? If not, time to retrain him.

It’s not rude to bring it up that you want some help. Especially with the baby. So talk to him. Or pump anyways and after dinner, hand him the baby and the bottle and walk out of the room. It’s not rocket science that means to feed the baby :slight_smile: But forreal, talk to him about helping out before he games.

I had this same issue. He now doesn’t get on until the kids are in bed & the house is picked up. He realized it goes by faster & im less angry when we do it together.

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“You need to clean up dinner. This is now your daily job. I cook, you clean it up.”

I work longer hours than my husband. He needs to do at least half the house work. His problem was not seeing messes or realizing what needs to get done.

To help with that, I started making a checklist with daily, weekly, and monthly chores for my self, my husband, and my son. That way, my expectations are clear.

Also, I make sure not to call it “helping”. We both work full time. Him doing chores is not “helping his wife” it’s “being an adult”.

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My boyfriend (pretty much fiancée) can be like this, but I just talk to him. Ya, sometimes he gets mad but you know what, he helps a little more for a time. Sadly, its a part of his personality, but you have to be straight with him. remind him that you don’t care that he games and that his hobby, but you need to have time for your hobbies and relaxation time too.

You guys need to communicate. Let him know your overwhelmed and need a little help, its his home and child too.