I miss an ex from 3 years ago: What should I do?

Hey ladies. Please no bashing or judgement here… This is non baby related. I need some advice. UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING COMMENTS ONLY!! PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS INNOCENT HAPPENED 3 YEARS AGO! My senior year of high school, I dated this guy from April to October. I’ll admit I fucked up a lot during that relationship. Most of it was not being honest and acting like someone I wasn’t … etc. I was in a horrible state of mind, and my head wasn’t on straight. We broke up the day before homecoming. I hurt him very, very, very badly by telling people I was pregnant with his baby when we never even had sex. YES, I KNOW I FUCKED UP! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME FEEL ANT WORSE! To this very day, I fucking miss him so much. I’m currently dating someone now that I have been dating for almost two years now, and we have a six month old. I’m not happy, not truly happy. Never was. My ex was the only boyfriend that I truly loved. He loved me back. We had the same interests; he treated me with respect everything a girl could ever wish for. I fucked it up and threw it away… I know it has been years since we talked or seen each other or anything. I still have his number unless he changed it. I don’t know what to do anymore. He has been in my dreams every night for the past two months. Dreaming of us getting back together and I am so happy then waking up crying because I know it was just a dream, and I’m in another day of reality. That he’s gone and I ruined it. What should I do? Dating another person didn’t make me feel any better. Moving forward, I tried doesn’t work. My boyfriend now says, “ I love you “ to me all the time, and all I say is “okay” … I am deeply depressed. My parents tried bringing me out to eat tonight to help me feel better. I said no, I turned down my favorite dessert, I said no to shopping. I told my current boyfriend about it, and he knows my ex, and all he does is just holds me tight and comforts me while I cry and let it out. He doesn’t judge me at all or get upset at me, which I love that part of him. But ladies. What should I do? I truly love my ex… not my current boyfriend… Please, again, no bashing. Yes, I am getting counseling, and yes, I have stopped lying, and yes, I have changed for the better. It’s been three years.


Yikes. Advice?? Be alone and keep getting help.


You may always love your ex but from the sounds of it you guys have some seriously bad stuff between you. If you wanted to reach out to the ex and apologize for the past I commend that- but let him decide if he wants to forgive u or have any contact. Ball will be in his court not yours


I read this same thing on mommies page


Yowzers. So you’re dragging your boyfriend now through hell and making him think you love him when you dont. Not any better than you did to your ex. My advice…be single.


You’re literally the person who taught him everything he never wants in a relationship. Cherish the time you had with him and learn from what you did, and move on. Leave him alone. It’s selfish to think that you can “sorry” your way back into his life…

You say you acted like someone you weren’t…except that you were acting exactly like who you were at the time…

I see a whole lot of excuses for your behaviour in your post and zero accountability.

Leave him be.


You should probably let your ex go and by the sounds of it probably let the boyfriend you have now go. I think the people posting may be right just be single for a bit and find yourself before being in a serious relationship. Maybe focus on your child


You need help and consider p.p.d

Grass and memories are always greener on the other side.


You are so young, you need to let your ex go only once you let him go and the idea of being with him go can you truly love another. And stop leading your current bf go as well your leading him on which is hurting him too.


Maybe a postpartum depression.

Leave your boyfriend. You aren’t being fair to him. You are using him.

Build your own life with your child.

Build a career, work on yourself, as a mother and a person.

You have some serious issues. You need to be in a better place before inviting anyone into your child’s life.

It’s not about you and what you want anymore. It’s about the child you chose to get pregnant with and carry to term. The child deserves a fully engaged mother, not a mother pining over some dude who isn’t it’s father


Sounds like you need to realize what you’ve got now before you lose it. I’m sure your ex has moved on. Like you said, it’s been three years with no contact. Appreciate what you’ve got girl.


You have regret for your ex, not love. Move on.


Girl you have a man who still loves you and holds you while you cry about another man. That’s not something to throw away. The grass isn’t always greener


It sounds like maybe your in love with the thought more then the guy


You are only one half of this equation. Just like you say you’ve changed it’s likely your Ex has too. He may have a wife and or kids and be very happy. Your current bf seems to be extremely compassionate, patient and understanding. I have personally experienced that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Can you and your BF do some counseling together as a couple and lay all of the cards on the table? Maybe see if this is something that can be discussed and worked through? It would be a shame to jump ship from this relationship without at least making an honest good faith attempt at working it out. JMO.


Break up with your current boyfriend and share custody 50/50. Pretending to love someone and leading them on while you are in love and fantasizing about someone else is not ok. Be single for a bit and truly think about what you want in life.


That’s not love. That’s regret. Took me a long time to realize the feeling of being in love with my exes when I was younger wasnt true love just infatuation and in love with the idea of love. Go see a therapist


I don’t think you want your ex back. I think you want closure and need forgiveness for the fact that you hurt him. Maybe reach out and apologise. I feel like this is more of a guilt thing x