I have a 16-year-old daughter’s father has never been In her life until maybe two years ago, and he’s in and out of her life. I do everything and anything for this lady as a single mother. My boyfriend tries to help as well. she is angry, screams get so mad …I do not know what to do anymore. We have tried therapy etc nothing. I have no idea anymore why she is like this, or what she scream etc acts like this I need help … I am stressed out to the make she makes threats to go back to someone her father that doesn’t care about her. I need help with her
She needs to see an actual Psychologist! That way To see what her Problem is and also See if they Can do a test on her too be sure she don’t Have schizophrenia or any kind of Mentality. Stay Strong Mama
As I was once told, shell be the cruelest to you because she feels safe and knows nothing shes does will ever make you not love her. Wheras with her dad…my kiddo is 6, and even ad a baby and toddler her dad was physically present but never there…and now hes neither, doesnt even wanna talk on the phone with her…each time she gets hurt. She takes it out on me, and still keeps trying to be with him…now 6 is not 16, but it could be similar in ways…you got the strength and you can always chat with us…
My mother went through the same thing with me when I was younger. I was just angry and depressed. I didn’t know how to process or deal with my emotions and it caused alot of problems I still have today cause I wouldnt go to therapy for years. You cant force her to want to get better or want to seek help. If she doesnt want to go to therapy and take it seriously then she will not make progress at all even if she is going. I highly recommend talking to her about her feelings. You may have to sit with her in silence for an hour until shes comfortable or give her a notebook to start writing in or drawing in. Drawing and writing helped me with alot and I still have my journal from years ago. I love to go through it and see how far I’ve came and how much happier I am.
Is she on birth control ? That shit pushes alot of us over the edge at that age when we have other issues mentally going on.
A lot of kids go through this they back talk don’t listen don’t mind think they know everything remember and plus they tell us that they hate us they always threaten to go live with the other one but you should tell Daryl dad he needs to Buck up and shut up and tell her excuse me you need to respect and mind your mom he probably don’t want to live with him anyway or he would have been around sooner that don’t work go get it checked out and get her a happy pill and if that don’t work bust her ass… Remember you’re her mother make her show respect to you don’t let her be ugly or to your boyfriend.
I went through a behavioral phase like this as a teen…it’s hard to say what the trigger(s) is/are, but maybe try to sit down with her and ask her what’s going on and what it is that you can do to help get her through it so you can better understand. Try to be as understanding and unbiased as possible, come at her with a compassionate and empathetic tone so she doesn’t feel attacked or cornered so she doesn’t freak out. It very well could work itself out though. Wishing you the best and sending love your way.
My daughter (now 20) and I started to go through similar issues. I sat her down one day and told her she has every right to her feelings; no matter what they were but she decided in her actions what the rest of her teen years would look like. If she wanted to be a jerk- so be it. I would still love her but she would also spend most of her time grounded. If she wanted to change her attitude- we could have fun with all the things teenagers should be.
I didn’t believe it at first but she really took it to heart and straightened out.
Too many factors. Does she have siblings? Could it be she’s jealous of your time? Peer influence? Does she have a boyfriend? What are her usual activities? A psychologist might be a help.
Is there a reason why her father had nothing to do with her for 14 years and is now suddenly allowed to dance in and out of her life? Is that in her best interest?
I acted up as a teenager and young adult. I found out I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. I’ve taken Paxil for many, many years now. I don’t have a problem. Take her to an MD and have her checked.
As a young person that had issues with my dad not being there, I was a train wreck. I hated life at home because I had the mentality that “dad doesn’t love me so no one else does”. Sit with her, ask her what’s in her mind, and tell her if she doesn’t want to say it, to write it. If she’s comfortable with you reading it, great! But encourage her to let her anger go; bury the letter, burn it, tear it up. It’s HARD being a teenager with all of your hormones and then to add an absent parent. I personally felt better when I would write a letter to my dad and let out everything I felt about him, anger, hurt, sadness, fear. She needs to know she’s loved. I’m sure you do that, but take that little bit of extra time and watch her favorite movie, play a video game with her, see if she likes to write poetry if you must! I know from experience that it’s so easy to “fall off” and start to hate yourself; because at the end of the day, she isn’t screaming at YOU, she’s screaming at herself. Hang in! I’ll send good vibes your way!
My parents were married when I was this age and I fought with them constantly. A lot of it is the age. Try to figure out ways to spend time with her and make her feel special. Its so hard for a kiddo to have a parent coming in and out. My baby is only 6 and from time to time just starts crying because she had a random thought of her father. Its so sad. I’d try to get her into therapy to talk about her feelings. Sometimes what you as her mama can do for her isn’t what she needs and there is NO SHAME in that. I would also talk to her father and tell he how is inability to be consistent is affecting the child.
Just let it be
If it goes well ur not
It’s part of life
I was like that around 16 it was a phase to be honest just talk to her as much as you can
Girl she is a teenager! Her hormones are going nuts, she probably feels confused about her father, and boys and school, and fitting in. Try to remember what it was like when you were 16. That’s what I try to do. I remember many screaming matches with my mother…I was overly hormonal…my mother should of taken me to a therapist, I’m pretty sure I suffered from PMDD, i have learned to cope with it as I get older, but i still have months occasionally where my hormones are all over the place, but all 16 year olds are difficult, even boys…I think 12 (for girls) and 16 for the both are the hardest years of parenting honestly lol
Ugh she’s 16 she’s entering a part of life where we get all these emotions we our selves dont know how to handle
Okay first thing
Any relationships ?
And traumatic events recently
Theres something personal to her that makes her suddenly want so much attention
I’d recommend seeing doctors or therapists
Parents often think treatment helps it does to a point but in life after treatment can be hard
Good learning healthy copeing skills
Sounds like a Typical teenager she probably acting out because her dads in the life and she knows deep down that he doesn’t care so she takes it out on you, I’d sit her down and have a proper talk with her let her shout/scream let her get it all out she’ll feel so much better for it
Take her out for 1 on 1 time with just u… Maybe she just wants her mummy?! U thought about that? And if the shit behaviour continues, take her bedroom door. Privacy is a privilege not a human right! Maybe try communicating with her 1st though… At end of day ur the adult act like 1
When I went through that phase sadly to say it was drugs. Peer pressure and my dad chose drugs over me. It didn’t last long due to I didn’t want to ruin my body back then. I was depress for a while before I tried drugs. My mom work her butt off to give my siblings and I a great life. I only did drugs because it was a cry for help. As a kid I was molested so it was alot that hit me in my teenage years. We did all the different doctors appointments and evaluation. Check for chemical imbalance and mental illness. Family therapy help me out a lot. As an adult I think just knowing my mother tried to get me professionally help make me appreciate her that much more today. Try family therapy. Try more family activities. Drug test her. Your doing a great job. In try talking with dad and her face to face. If she want to live with him. Let her just be there to catch when she falls it will be hard on you.