Do any of you ever feel like your kid just doesn’t care about you? My daughter is 14 months & I feel like we’ve never had a ‘bond.’ Sometimes she’s sweet to me when it’s just the 2 of us, but as soon as she sees her grandparents or her dad, she just wants them. (We live with her grandparents btw.)
When it’s her & I, she will cry for her grandma to pick her up even though I’m right there. There are even times where I will go to take her out of her grandparent’s arms & she will scream her head off and cry.
As for her dad, as soon as he gets home from work every day, she runs up to him, saying, ‘dada dada’ & hugs his legs for him to pick her up. When I leave the house by myself for a while & I come home, she acts like I don’t even exist. Like she didn’t miss me and she doesn’t care that I’m home now.
Idk I’ve just been feeling this way for a while now. It’s sad to see the girl you gave birth to, the girl you take care of every day (I’m a SAHM) not be affectionate towards you whatsoever. I’ve given up my whole life for her & she doesn’t even care that I’m her mom. I swear I could disappear right now & she wouldn’t even care or feel sad."
RELATED QUESTION: I Feel Like I’m Not Close Enough with My Child: Advice?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Sweetheart, I really think this is more your insecurity than anything your daughter is feeling. I stayed home with my twin girls, they were never really affectionate to me, it just wasn’t their personalities. And Daddy and Namna were far more exciting, they weren’t always there. But I knew that was normal, it wasn’t that they didn’t like me, they just took my presence as a given. Which is perfectly normal for a child to do. Please don’t let these insecurities manifest into real problems between the two of you.”
“Sounds like it’s just because you are a stay at home mom and she is almost always with you. While the others are not so she is more excited to see them when they are there.”
“I obviously don’t know the situation well as I can only go off of what you’re describing but it sounds to me like you might have a bit of postnatal depression. She’s only 14 months, of course, she loves her mamma. There’s no one else in the world who could compare to you. I’m also a SAHM and have felt this way in the past. It turned out it was my own depression that was bringing things down. She probably does take you for granted more because you are ALWAYS there. My son was the same. He’s just started nursery and now when I go to pick him up he is a lot more affectionate. Just give things time. Always try your best and everything will fall into place. Kids tend to go through phases of who they like more anyways. This stage won’t last forever. Just keep loving her.”
“I’m going to guess she’s with you a vast majority of her day. She is used to you being home with her so she never really misses you. You are the one she trusts the most to never leave her and she knows you would never hurt her so sometimes we are their favorite most important person but feel like they don’t like us. I have 3 kids 3 and under and a 9 yr old I know how you feel momma. She loves you more than anyone in this world and trusts you beyond words to always love and be here for her.”
“She sees you all day every day. Seeing someone out of routine is going to be exciting for every kid. Her behavior sounds normal to me. Don’t take it to heart.”
“You are the constant in her life. You are the one person she knows who will be there… who will always come back. But Everyone else’s presence is sporadic therefor making it like a treat. When we get excited to see someone we haven’t seen in a while we get the same way, only time feels different for kids. So even tho they might have just seen her not long ago it’s still the best thing ever. My toddler is the same way, and it’s okay to feel that way. Mirroring what others have said, I don’t think it would hurt talking to your doctor about possible postpartum depression.”
“My kids did this at some point. It was just because I was always there. But when I was working they would do the same to their father. They outgrew it. It’s just a phase.”
“I have 4 kids and they are all so different. 1 of mine tells me all the time she loves her daddy more and it hurts but I tell her it’s okay. I love her daddy too. Hang in there, Momma. Your whole family would notice if you disappeared.”
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