I split from my SO (daughters step dad) and he is now telling my 7-year-old he isn't her dad: Advice?

So my daughter is seven and does not know who her bio dad is. He never had anything to do with her since I left him due to drugs and violence. When she was six months old, I had found love again things took off fast, and we ended up having two wonderful kids together, and we’re together for six years, so she grew up believing he was her father. Well now me and have split up for a year due to cheating and drug use ect, and for a couple of months, he had taken my seven year old because she knew him as a dad now he has told her he isn’t her dad and he wants nothing to do with her. How do I explain this all to her I feel horrible for lying and she always asks about him and wants him because her brother and sister go with him, but she isn’t allowed to

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What a monster !!! I wouldn’t let any of the kids go till that jerk pulled his head out of the clouds how dare he do and say that to that innocent baby !!!

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He’s bad enough that you split and is doing drugs so why would you send your kids to him anyway?

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What a crappy human he is.

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Evil peice of shit!!! Keep all 3 away from him if i was u

The truth always comes out…

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You have to tell her the truth. You can’t force him to feel differently. If he’s addicted to drugs its better that he has nothing to do with any of your children. Cut ties.

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He is a horrible man and doesn’t deserve her. No person, man or woman, should neglect a child just because they aren’t with the other parent. Regardless if they are blood or not. He is all she knows. She doesn’t deserved to be treated this way just because you two didn’t work out. I guess you will have to just be honest with her. Explain everything. And answer any questions she may have.

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Sounds like a monster. But please stop having babies with drug addicts. Also if his drug use made you guys split, why are you sending your children there? Doesn’t seem like you’re making very good choices.

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Wow what a dick for taking out your marriage problems on a 7 year old pff… you shouldn’t feel bad for lying you wanted her to feel stable welcomed and loved. That’s what a good mama does. As for telling her why she cant spend time with “him” I’d be honest but only to an extent of what you know she could handle but since hes already crushing her why not plan some you and her time while her siblings go with him. Shopping or crafts could be fun.

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Wow situation sucks but if he’s involved with drugs etc I wouldn’t even allow my children around him

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I wouldn’t allow any of the kids see him
I’ve split from my bd and he wants nothing to do with his sons. And his other son thts not mine. I still take care of bc it’s not his fault

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Now is the time to tell her the truth, and that he’s not as good a man as you thought he was, and she does not deserve that from ANYONE. Be you need to reassure her, constantly, that this is not her fault and she did nothing wrong. That sometimes grownups make mistakes and he should not have said it to her.

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So unnecessary and hurtful of him. I’m sorry for your daughter. I would talk her through this and be there for her, and cut all contact with him.

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Wow you split bcuz of drugs but still sending your children?? I really hope nothing happens to them babies bcuz of ur failure to protect them from that situation. As for telling her just be honest, the damage is already done honestly.

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Wow that is just petty and mean

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So, you split because of drugs and you’re still sending your kids with him?!? This can’t be real. He should have access to none of the children. As for the 7yo she’s not his child. It’s you’re fault for allowing her to believe that a man you’re not even married too is her father, all this could have been avoided had you been up front. He doesn’t have to take her and care for her, yes I think he’s a piece of shit for not claiming her too, but the truth is he’s not obligated too. :woman_shrugging: YOU should be making better choices for your kids, but here you are.

Get her a counselor right away and tell her the truth! Probably would be helpful if you spoke to the therapist about the best way to do this.

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He should never have gotten the chance to break her heart… YOU should have thwarted this by telling your daughter HER truth in a loving, gentle way. Since that can’t be undone, use this as your motivation to do better. You shouldn’t ALLOW your daughter around a man who wants to hurt a young, innocent child in such a deep, profound way. You need to do better and make wiser choices. Her identity, value, worth and sense of family was just seriously messed with by someone she loved and trusted💔 Cater to her mental well-being and try to rebuild her little soul.

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Wow what a nasty person he is! Tell her the truth and tell her your sorry but you wanted to make her life better. I’m so sorry you and your daughter
are going thru this.

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