I think contact between my partner and his ex should only be about their child: Advice?

I love my partner dearly, and we never argue, but when we do, it’s always about the same thing. His ex and her family. They have publicly disrespected his full family, him, and me loads of time. His ex is continually causing problems and arguments for no reason at all & constantly threatens to stop contact if she doesn’t get her way; therefore, we can’t argue with her even though she’s wrong. I don’t feel like he has my back as when I’m bringing slated etc., he never seems to stand up to them for me. We have his child every weekend, which I encourage and am happy with as I love that child like my own, but this is my problem. My partner has slagged them off to me, but I know that they stay in contact and act as if nothings happened & as if there all friends, which to me makes no sense at all. Am I wrong in wanting the contact to be about the child and child only with her & her family, or am I well within my rights to get annoyed for him wanting and being very friendly with them after everything that’s going on?

6 Likes

You are wrong, my ex is literally my best friend, my new husband and me we’ve been married for 10 years already and we have 2 new kids (6 & 5 yo) my ex love my kids so much, we celebrate everything together like a big family, birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, Thanksgiving. Christmas, etc… we raising kids together and love our kids, my husband and my ex, they have a beautiful relationship… grow up and stop being jealous, if you pretend that you gonna make them talk just about their kid because if they talk about something else it’s gonna bother you, you just going to become a big ridiculous clown… when you decided to started a family with a man with kids and ex, you should know that that my dear is a whole package… if they wanted to be together they would ve together, regardless that you are in the middle of the story… be smart and don’t make conflict for no reason, they have a relationship and a story that you can take away.

The reason why I don’t wanna date someone with a child is because of this unnecessary drama

18 Likes

Sounds to me he hasn’t completely moved on from her or her family ,might be time for you to back away for if he’s not standing up for you when it comes to her and her family then you’re not the one .

9 Likes

If you aren’t happy leave but don’t think he will change.

3 Likes

Your problem is with him, not the ex and her family. Their dynamic is their business and you should butt out…having said that, if he is not defending you when they speak derogatory about you then that is a problem. Talk to him about that and that only.

7 Likes

There’s always 3 sides to every story. Sounds like you are a big part of the arguments!!

1 Like

Without reading the rest you should let the man go along with the woman . That will not end no time soon .He has you keeping his child because he know you love that child.Had you been the " wicked stepmother " or opposed it being coming by he wouldn’t have
For your peace of mind let him go because that seems to be his leaning

There’s nothing wrong with him being friends with them. Makes things easier for his kid. You sound jealous.

5 Likes

My partner has a friendly relationship with his ex. His son is an adult. But is still his son and they talk about him and what’s going on. They also help each other out. She is married and he is with me and our family.

To me is shows his character.
He has respect for the mother of his child and I like that. But she’s never caused issues or come between our relationship nor has her family.

Co parenting is easier when both parties get along if that includes being friends then awesome.

Have you considered that he doesn’t defend you because he believes you’re grown enough to defend yourself and he’s worried it will mean not seeing his child after all his child will ALWAYS be his first priority

4 Likes

are you two married? I understand your concerns and they are valid but I feel like a gf has no bearings between parents. You don’t have to stay and put up with it if it’s not being addressed. Girlfriends can walk away. They are connected not saying they are in love but you are limited to what you can do

8 Likes

A lot of people do this he’ll slag her off to you of course he will but he’ll be friendly to her face because he’s scared of what she’ll do …no contact with his kid …Hopefully all this talking and slating other parent doesn’t happen in front of the child …because that’s the only one who really matters in all of this …the child’s well being and mental health…talk to your fella or leave ?

1 Like

He hasnt moved on…you should asap

2 Likes

Amazing. How different people see things. Men know staying friends keeps the door open with her. If he does not back u now he never. Will. If he loved u he would. His contact. Should be. For the kids only. Being friends. With her. Family. Is his way to keep tabs on her. I wont. Date anyone with kids. He would. Back me all the way or. Id leave and she could have him back. But wow using u is a good way to get a reaction from the ex. If he isnt willing to move on. U should

I feel this girl. And if he wants to keep seeing his kid, sadly that’s probably the reason he isn’t saying or doing anything about it. I deal with it sometimes too. It’s frustrating like no other. Shes one of those bitter baby mommas and always will be until someone comes along and distracts her from her miserable life. Until then, you just gotta not let it come between you two if you really love each other.

2 Likes

Although I’m on your side it seems partially either ha not completely over her OR hes keeping peace to have his kid. She sounds like she would use the kid against him. If it comes to his kid or u it’s the kid. He probably has to bite his tongue for the sake of seeing his child

Run don’t walk away. It will not get better. If he doesn’t respect you enough now he never will.

3 Likes

Man. Let it all go, him included. Seriously.

I went through the same until the child got older. You have to live with it or leave it. It’s your call. But I never felt disrespected. Just watched him be used. He treated me great in every other aspect.